I'm 29 yrs old, & has been with my boyfriend for a yr. Initially, my mother was supportive of the relationship, but since I told her my boyfriend is colour blind (he cannot see green), she has been forcing me to split up with him. Her reason is because colour blindness is hereditary, and she does not want my kids to have this "disability". My boyfriend is a caring man with a good career, and is committed to our relationship. He can go about his daily routine normally. I tried many times to discuss with my mother about her concerns & my reasons, but she doesn't listen & believes "I deserve someone better". I also tried to convince her to meet him in person, but she refused. I love my bf, but also want my mother's blessing. What can I do?
2007-08-16 14:02:58 · 21 answers · asked by Gillian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Accept that you may never get your mother's blessing. There are worse things than being color blind!
If your boyfriend was abusive mentally, physically or socially, then I'd be telling you to listen to her. But she's getting hysterical over one little fact about him. And if that's all she's reacting to, she's needing some serious psychiatric help. That's just not normal, ya know?
2007-08-24 08:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your Mother. She is being very unreasonable. You may have to marry him without her blessing. How sad, but I hope you don't give up a good man you love, for such a reason. She does need the opportunity to meet him...so just make it happen. If she can't be won over, then you really don't have any other choice but to disappoint one of them. I hope it's your Mother.
2007-08-18 18:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is best for you to just follow what you believe in and follow your heart. You may not get her blessing, but sooner or later she will have to accept him. What can she do after you get married and have a family of your own? She will still love you and what is apart of you. She will want to be apart of your children's lives.
Trust me.
I knew that my boyfriend/fiance is Bipolar. My parents could not understand that and they knew it was hereditary as well as I did. It did not bother me one bit. I still married him. I loved him regardless of his situation. We are happy and we have a beautiful son now. My mother and father can't stay away from him. They love him to death. They accepted my husband!
So, don't bother with what your mother thinks. If you love your man, stick by him. He is the one that matters!
2007-08-22 06:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is really unfair. Your mother should be glad to see you happy, and support your choice, no matter how she feels about this little "disability" as she calls it. My father was colourblind, and me and my brother turned out with good vision, so tell your mother colourblindness isn't always hereditary, and that you're happier than you ever have been with this man, and you will love him no matter what.
If your mother persists, I would suggest simply ignoring her when she badmouths your boyfriend, and if she says you're being rude, tell her she's the one being rude to your boyfriend.
All the best!
-hugs-
2007-08-16 14:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by LinnLovestruck<3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i know you want her blessings but sometimes you have to get over it. well color blind is not a big deal and therefore she is not to pick your marriage partner at 29 years old. i can't imagine thi s happening to me but you have to stand tall and marry the guy and after the kids come she will mellow out. its sad she is like this and there are some that have to run alls lives but it doesnt not work. maybe some day he'll warm up and be ahuman and relaize you are right picking your choice not hers.
2007-08-22 15:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to go back and check your age. Why are you allowing your Mother to cause you such misery ? She is only doing this because you allow it. Put your foot down and explain to your Mother that you are 29 and old enough to select the man you want to share your life with. Hope you do find happiness.
2007-08-22 14:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I am not mistaken color blindness is carried thru the mother not the father. Do some research on it Im not in the mood. If this is true her argument is gone.
If I am wrong it doesnt matter. Your mother is nuts. He sounds fantastic. You are a lucky lady.
2007-08-16 14:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, If your colour blind. Your no different then the rest of the world. It's kind of like watch Andy Griffeth reruns all the time. Just tell her that!
2007-08-23 15:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by ♥§♥§♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of all the other guys you have ever dated and what was wrong with them (genetically or emotionally - ie too short, bad hair, bad temper, .....)
Ask her why not being able to perceive all color is any worse.
If she still won't budge then you have to make the hard decision. Is you relationship with him worth losing the love and support of your family.
2007-08-23 10:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is very hard situation. please try to soft spoken with yr mom . Make her very confident with yr boyfriend. that's yr can improve with yr mom : yr boyfriend can take care of u very much and both of u r very love each others..... may be it's take times but u can do that slow and steady. BUT dont make yr mom feel like u r ignoring her because of u r already hv a boyfriend. make a simple life between yr mom and yr boyfriend . this situation will be COMFORTABLE each others.
2007-08-23 22:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by cctt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋