about a year ago,me(33), mom, sis(35) and my niece(17) rented a house together. after i had all my stuff moved in i tried helping them w/ theirs but they are all procrastinators and every day would wait till i had stuff to do(like go to work, exercise, spend time w/fiance etc.) to ask for my help. so, when i told my sister one day i wouldnt help her b/c she waited till noon to get her butt in gear, we got in a huge fight some very hurtful stuff was said by both of us and i ended up moving out. she seems to think i owe her an appology for something and as far as i'm concerned the whole thing can just be forgotten. i'm sure at some point we will be more than just civil w/ each other and i dont want to regret not having her share this special time with me. but on the other hand i've done nothing wrong and dont think i should appoligize or ask her forgiveness. what would you do?
2007-08-16 13:22:11 · 16 answers · asked by nicole e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no matter how hard you try family will never stop fighting it is in our nature.
but as you say this is a special time in your life and I say you should be the bigger person and invite her in your wedding let her decide if she wants to continue to be childish then that would be on her.
you do your best to accommodate her and don't let it spoil your mood.
maybe one day you can laugh about it
good luck
2007-08-16 13:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by fancy4not 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should ask her. This could be the thing that you re-bond over. And if you don't ask her it will probably make the minor rift into a big crater. I think if the 2 of you discuss the fight you will both feel better (tears may follow any discussion). I think on the day of your wedding you will regret not having her by your side.
However! If she is such a procrastinator and doesn't get things don then she may not be a good MOH or even BM. Consider the responsibility that comes with each bridal party position and ask yourself if you think she is up for the task.
Good luck.
2007-08-16 13:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by az 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to resolve this and then ask her to be in the wedding. Are you willing to lose this important relationship over a disagreement from a year ago? Maybe you can talk and just agree you weren't the best roommates for each other and you have different ways of doing things, but you're still sisters.
Whatever you do, don't bring up the old fight in an attempt to show how you were right. Just try to put it in the past and agree that you will always disagree about somethings and that's okay.
2007-08-16 13:33:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? I think that you need to talk. Is it one of those, whoever speaks first loses? This may work in negotiations with the price of your wedding cake or cost of the DJ, but not with family. You are the one that has the most to loose if you don't get with you sister and talk things out. First of all you have a wedding that you are having and your sister may not be apart of it. It is the biggest day of your life and because of an argument you will not let your sister in the wedding. This will have more lasting effect on you then you sister. Just try to speak and clear the air, it may not do anything for her, but at least you made a try at it.
2007-08-16 13:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jim A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave your sister out of your wedding. Moving can cause extreme stress with everyone. I'm sure that there are two sides to the coin. If you leave your sister out of your wedding you may suffer repercussions from other family members. This would be something you can not undo as hopefully you will not have another wedding. If you have a best friend that you want to be MOH, that would be your best choice. If you would rather have your sister MOH, just make sure you have others covering her responsibilities (as backup). Don't rehash the disagreement ... what's done, is done.
2007-08-16 14:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by grimesnotaryserv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should invite her to your wedding because I mean you probably would want her to be there on your special day. Just go to her tell her you have forgotten the incident and would like to but it all behind you. What's in the past is in the past. You two are sisters, isn't that more important then a silly fight? You love her.. you should invite her. Good luck with your sister and fiance!!! =]
2007-08-16 13:39:06 · answer #6 · answered by mala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should ask your sister to be in your wedding. I've been in 5 weddings and speak to 2 of the brides from these weddings. My sister and my friend from grammer school. All these weddings are really wonderful but when it's all done who are the people that stay around?
People marry, have children, move across country, life changes but your family is your family. Just bite your lip.
2007-08-16 14:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by Lyla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say something like, "Hey, Sis, I know we haven't been on the best of terms recently, but I AM GETTING MARRIED (show excitement) and I couldn't possibly do it without you. Will you be in my wedding, pleeeeese?" Don't bring up the argument or apology, or the past. Just focus on the future. She probably feels bad about your relationship and this might just be what you are both looking for to mend it.
2007-08-16 15:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the situation. Did you talk to her properly, or just suddenly 'blow up'? If so, then I guess you need to just fess up and apologize. I mean geez, at your age, you guys should be more rational instead of fighting. Try setting a better example to your niece. Whatever happened, both of you played a part in the fight. I'm not saying that you alone should apologize but both of you should talk things over and settle it peacefully. It's better to love than to hate, don't you agree?
2007-08-16 13:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by Hanna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in the grand scheme of fights, that one is not so bad. she didn't take your boyfriend or something so bad. while i can see why you are so mad, you might have to be the bigger person and let this go under the bridge.
sometimes in life, you do not get "i'm sorry" when you really do deserve them. i am sure everyone can list one or two situations they let pass, getting a sorry was never going to happen and it was not worth getting so mad about.
it might hurt more in the long run if you leave her out of your wedding. the hurt will continue to stack up. i might not make her MOH, but i would give her a role so she can know that YOU forgive her and she is still very important to you.
2007-08-16 13:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by Christina V 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋