Are there any Scientologists out there? And if there are would you like to say a few words about Xenu?

Question

75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our part of the galaxy, including our own planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack.

All of the planets Xenu controlled were over-populated by, on average, 178 billion people. Social problems dictated that Xenu rid his sector of the galaxy of this overpopulation problem, so he developed a plan.

Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people. As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 1.4 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers.

Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands.

When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed.

However, Xenu's plan involved setting up electronic traps in Teegeack's atmosphere which were designed to trap the souls or spirits of the dead space aliens. When the 1.4 trillion spirits were being blown around on the nuclear winds, the electronic traps worked like a charm and captured all the souls in the electronic, sticky fly-paper like traps.

The spirits of the aliens were then taken to huge multi-plex cinemas that Xenu had previously instructed his forces to build on Teegeack. In these movie theatres the spirits had to spend many days watching special 3D movies, the purpose of which was twofold: 1) to implant into these spirits a false reality, i.e. the reality that WOGS know on Earth today; and, 2) to control these spirits for all eternity so that they could never cause trouble for Xenu in this sector of the Galaxy. During these films, many false pictures were implanted into these spirits, which resulted in the spirits believing in all the things that control mankind on Earth today, including religion. The concept of religion, including God, Christ, Mohammed, Moses etc., were all an implanted false reality that to this very minute is used to control WOGS on earth.

Sorry for the massive Quote , but its a good read im sure you'll agree. This is what Scientologists believe though! I wanna speak to a believer any out there

Answer 1

They've seen it.

The "lower level" members don't know about it and dismiss it as nonsense. They would never allow themselves to accept that their cult is ridiculous.

The "higher level" members are programmed to deny, deny, deny. In fact, they've signed a contract binding them to silence.

So it was a valiant effort, but they're too brainwashed to let it really sink in.

Answer 2

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.... from outer space. The big bad wolfgod flew a harley davidson streetbob through all of time. He found out that the pigs were anti static and didnt play the flute too well so, in a fit of fitness she through a piece of liver down a mine shaft.
In penance for the lack of musicality and their crack habbits the pigs were shot into another dimension on an old stale cake.



Erin brockovich beleives me......

Answer 3

Xenu's Paradox?

Answer 4

Xenu the princess warrior?

Answer 5

Xena ? Alcohol injections from the tax man ? WOGS ??

just wait til you come down bro !!!

Answer 6

Is this what John Travolta believes that his ancestors are from another planet, and he believes that. Gosh what does none say.

Answer 7

Claptrap, but not much more ridiculous than the other religions, just made up later.

Answer 8

Yes, there are lots of Scientologists out here.

Answer 9

I like their view on doctors who give pills for moods, etc. I wonder if they still have that doctrine.

Answer 10

You're name is fitting, Dr. Sarcasm.
Epic win.