Why is it so hard to let go of her?

Question

I went out with this girl at my work for 2 months everything was going great, but then she said she was going to go up and visit her ex-boyfriend for a day. I told her no and she went anyways and everything went downhill from there. I know she either still had feelings for her ex and cheated, but I got to the point where I cared for her so much it made me start to go crazy for awhile. She then told me that she didnt want to be in a relationship and that we can just be friends. I just feel like a idiot, b/c i saw this coming from the first time she ask me if I cared if she could go to her ex boyfriend. I should have just forgot about her even my friends told me that....but why cant I?. She then broke it off with me, i guess in the end it was the best thing to do, but I beg like a loser to give me a chance when i did nothing wrong. I accept that it wont work it just sucks b/c I thought she was something that i could invent in a relationship. I am 20 yrs old.

Is this normal?

Thanks guys for the quick posts It helps alot to hear that there are other people that have been through this.

Answer 1

its so hard to let her go because you love her

Answer 2

Yes, it's totally normal. You probably hear this alot but, I know how you feel. I went out with this guy not too long ago and it was only for a few months but he broke up with me and i was crushed. To make matters worse, he didnt give me a reason. Hes single right now and i talk to him every once and a while. Its still hard though because i have feelings for him and he acts like we never went out. But all iun all itll be ok becuz ull find someone that cares.

Answer 3

You should have trusted her and said you didn't mind her visiting her ex (he was an ex for a reason). Saying no showed that you were insecure, and that was at least part of the reason why she broke up with you. However you do need to move on, and to do that, you have to stop looking at the past (which means not asking questions like this)--but yes, your situation and your feelings are normal. God bless.

Answer 4

Yes, it's normal. You'll probably have to go through something like this a few times in your life. In the future, don't give your heart away so easy. Two months isn't very long to date someone. Be more cautious next time until you are sure the other person is someone you can trust to give your heart to.

Answer 5

I think you are having a hard time because you thought she was what you wanted in someone. She wasn't as she went and saw her ex and you thought she cheated. You didn't trust the situation.

You will find someone who IS what you are really looking for. I will pray for patience for you and strength to go on and let her go. Once you let her go, you will be able to appreciate and respect the right woman when she comes along. We sometimes have to meet those other types so we can appreciate the real one when they come along.

Answer 6

I know its hard and im so sorry you are hurting and miss her. But it is best you find out she is like this in the beginning of the relationship then a year or two or three or longer down the road when you could get really hurt. You need to work on building up your self esteem to realize you deserve better then that. She will realize one day what she missed out on. but you have better things waiting for you.
people always want what they cannot have that is why you cannot forget about her. But trust me and follow your gut on this and listen to your friends she is not worth it. you deserve better!

Answer 7

maybe because you fell in love with her..its hard to let go when you fall in love, but you need to look for better. You need to get over her for your own happiness. What you want with her, she can't give you. If she can't give you that happiness, its only a temporary feeling. Maybe there is someone else out there who would want to give you exactly what you want to give them. You could feel like this about someone again, and actually get something better in return with that person. This girl is not worth it if she doesnt feel the same. That means your hearts/souls will never connect. Only those people that want to love you, deserve your love.
You can decide who you want to love. It is our decision to love. Just don't keep falling for the wrong person.

Answer 8

Yes, you're normal as normal gets. Rejection is a hard thing to face, and we all hate being rejected.
I hope by now, you've healed just a little enough to start getting your life back together and moving on.
BTW, you need to think about the "went a little crazy" and "begging" stuff...that's not healthy.
Good luck in your next relationship!

Answer 9

Alright str8 forward bro...... you were with her 2 months. Try 2 years and call me in the morning. You obviously didn't know her well becuase she went and banged her boyfriend while dating you. Have a one night stand and think about how free you fell now just like befor the 2 month courtship, which again I will add is not long in the slightest. Are you a man or a tranny get your mind right.

Answer 10

Sounds like a normal 20 year old break up. Let her go. I promise you there is someone better for you.

View this as a learning experience. The lesson learned is you cannot control anyone but yourself. Stop trying to control your girlfriends. It just does not work.

Answer 11

well it sounds like you were seriously in love....we all know breaking up can stink but if she broke up with a guy that is crazy about her then shes missing out, made a big mistake and doesn't deserve you.thats the truth. she may have her reasons but you are more than that and deserve better. go out and do something for yourself and try and have a good time with buddies! get her off your mind for a bit. good luck! :-)