The BEST Divorce Letter EVER!!!!
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want to
have sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!", but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your new silk boxers were $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Change is good.
2007-08-16 12:00:37 · 51 answers · asked by David 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Loved it David! Wished I could have written it
David you are right!
Change is good!
2007-08-16 12:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA! This is hilarious! Where did you get it from? It's the funniest thing I ever heard of divorces. Now I'm afraid I'm gonna laugh at the next divorce I hear about lol
2007-08-16 12:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by desigal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Revenge rocks!
2007-08-16 13:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Starr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was definitely funny, David
she got him good! LOL
- Jaci
2007-08-16 13:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jaci { R.I.P. Casey } 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-08-16 13:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO love it 8/10
2007-08-16 12:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Nichole[never gives up]♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it's not funny. It seems like you both hate each other. Stop saying your bad she bad he bad. That letter is like a child was fighting and said I'm better then you and your not better then me. Stop being such a kid and grow up.
2007-08-16 12:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by Successor 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is absolutely hilarious! Did you come up with it or did you find it, if you made it up, keep writing on y!A and if you found it, tell me where. Thanks for making my day!
♥kookie♥
2007-08-16 12:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by kookie katelyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahahahah lol thats so funny come up with another 1
2007-08-16 12:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by bigkiller_228 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I thought that was a good one!! Star Star Star!!!
2007-08-16 12:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋