The little bitty issue that I have and would like some advice on is that I have a 3 month old baby, and my stepdaughters loooooove him so much (luckily they aren't jealous). But, I'm still getting adjusted to motherhood myself, and it's natural for me to want to keep the baby away from all germs and any possibly injuries.
The girls always want to touch and hold and play with the baby, and it makes me upset whenever I put him down to do some housework they start messing with him and wake him up when he's sleeping. From there, they get in trouble with me and I end up getting onto them. Also, when I tell them not to pick him up (bc they are too small to pick him up and carry him around by themselves) they still do it, and I get mad at them but I feel it's too harsh to put them in timeout for that. Unfortunately though, it happens over and over again.
I don't know if it's just me being too sensitive about the whole thing or if I'm in the right for getting upset at them over that.
2007-08-16 10:24:46 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
The girls just want to be included, and you don't really want them to shy away from "new baby" they may become resentful. My advice would be to say" look girls, I have to clean up a little while "baby" sleeps, Please try to be quiet and when the baby wakes up, I will sit with you while you hold him" Then after that, I would ask them for help in cleaning, just little small stuff to keep them busy and away from"baby" while you do what you need to do. You may have to redo it once they are done, but they feel like they are helping and your keeping them away from baby without any resentment.
Good luck
2007-08-16 10:31:56 · answer #1 · answered by yappyishappy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a break. Being a new parent is tough. You are also experiencing that natural protectiveness that all mothers have. Don't worry about the germ issue. The baby is susceptible without them touching him/her. Also, they want to hold the baby and play with him, designate a specific time of day that they can do this. I would suggest after dinner and before bed. This way, not only will they get "worn" out, but the baby will too and you might get a good night's sleep. You could also use this time for "family" time. Make it really special and let the girls know that if they wake the baby during the day, etc., then he/she won't be awake for family time and they wouldn't want that, would they? This, not only stops them from waking the baby up during nap time, but gives the girls something special to look forward to and gives your family a "special" moment that you all will remember always. Welcome to parenthood and good luck!
2007-08-16 17:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girls are too little to pick up the baby. They also need to let him sleep. So you're not wrong to be upset about those things. Set up time for them to hold the baby with your help and supervision. Set up ground rules regarding not waking the baby up when he's sleeping. As far as germs go, get over it. Kids have germs and you have more than one child in the house, the baby is already exposed and it won't hurt him. That being said, you're very lucky the girls aren't jealous and that they want to love the baby, be happy about that.
Good luck.
2007-08-16 17:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by my2centsworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would not be worried about them touching him, if they live in the same house he is exposed to their germs already. my girls are 6 and 8 and my rule is when one of them is napping (which is not often now) which ever one wakes them up goes to bed, the same rule when I babysit friends kids, if one of my daughters wakes them up that one goes to bed, it is really good incentive to not wake them up. And as far as the carrying thing, I actually would put them in time out. I just went through this with my 8 yr old when I was babysitting. I simply told her that she is not experienced enough to be carrying around a baby let alone someone elses. I explained that babies jerk backwards or just lean for whatever they want and of course she would never intentionally hurt him but she needed to be a bit older before she could pack him around. And imagine the guilt is would leave on the kids if the baby got seriously hurt, if they dropped them and landed on their head. Not worth risking. let them hold him on the couch on their laps when you are in the room with them and only then. And just explain as they both get a little older then they can right now he is just too little and tell them its not just them that you would not let any other kid their age either. And after explaining all that if they still picked him up I would put them in time out every time until they stop.
2007-08-16 19:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is stop referring to the girls as "step" children and your baby as "my own". Even if you don't mean to, the girls are going to pick up on the different way you think about them, and resent you, and worst of all, the baby.
The second thing you need to do is draw a line in the sand: If you pick up the baby without permission, there will be punishment. Even if it sounds harsh, if they are disobeying, they have to be punished, and also, we are thinking of the safety of a baby here.
You also need to make sure you give the girls specific time that they ARE allowed to hold the baby. I know this makes you nervous, but the baby isn't nearly as fragile (germwise) as you may think. Just make sure they wash their hands. Also, you may feel more comfortable if you train them in the proper way to hold him with a doll.
2007-08-18 21:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remind them to wash their hands before touching the baby in case they "picked up " any germs
But actually you are being a bit sensitive but don't take that as a negative, you have your first new born and pretty much we all are a little paranoid with that one.
My friend who just had her sixth girl but it pretty funny.
Your first baby's pacifier falls to floor: You dive pick it up sterilize it, and give it back to the baby.
Your second baby's pacifier falls to the floor: You pick it up give run it under the sink and give it to the baby.
Your third baby's pacifier falls to the floor: You call for the dog to fetch and you give it to the baby.
As for them picking him up. I had told my kids that if the baby got hurt in the head during this fragile time. her brain would be broken. You can show them the soft spot and explain their is nothing to protect the brain. And then you might want to reassure them when it's quieter then can sit and hold the baby.
good luck
2007-08-16 22:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Marge Simpson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to make some ground rules and include dh in setting and enforcing them. #1 leave the baby alone when he is sleeping. and they are not to ever pick him up without an adult's permission and an adult being close by. you probably really don't have anything to worry about as far as him getting hurt, but if you aren't comfortable with them carrying him around, you should put a stop to it. allowing them to pick him up when you are nearby, will help them learn to do it the right and careful way and give you an opportunity to feel more comfortable with it.
2007-08-16 17:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by Psalm91 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I run a home day care and I have two five year olds who love to mess with the baby I watch. I have given them special rules concerning baby. THey are not to give the baby anything to play with without first asking permission, they are not to put anything into the pack n play with baby, they are not ever to pick baby up. THey may talk to baby and touch baby but may not put their hands in babies mouth. Give your girls specific dos and donts and if they are not followed punish them as you would when they break any other rule.
2007-08-16 21:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by reneaumommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think they are too small to hold him, as long as there is an adult in the room. So ask them to help you clean, or help clean the baby's bottles or room or fold baby's clothes even. They want to be included, and they want to feel important in his life also. Just let them know to wash their hands before they touch/pick up baby, keep hand sanitizer around (I was like this with my daughter) and make it a rule not to pick up without permission / or and adult. Also, let them know if they wake him up during the day, you'll wake them up at night to help you with him. :D
2007-08-16 17:37:01 · answer #9 · answered by aj h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not being sensitive. My 9 year old stepdaughter always wanted to play with my baby to and I felt the same way you do. I started letting up and when he was a few weeks old I went out and came home and she had some clothes on him that fit him to big and was propping him up like a doll and I was livid. My motherinlaw was there and she thought I overreacted but being a new mom and he's barely a month old. Also I wanted to include her asked her to get him out of swing and she dropped him and one time asked her to feed him and she took the oatmeal out of the microwave and fed it to him without letting it cool down. From then on out I never left her alone or let her handle him. So my point is be careful and NO your not being so sensitive, you don't want to take chances and have accidents like my baby.
I might add I DID let her handle the baby but closely supervised; you don't want the stepkids to feel left out!
2007-08-16 20:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋