im getting married in october at city hall family and close friends are going to dinner after my maid of honor wants to throw me a bridal shower but some people are saying i shouldnt have on because im not having a "wedding" is that right? i thought when you get MARRIED you get a shower not just when you have a wedding????
2007-08-16 10:14:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the thing is i want EVERYBODY to be a part of it i just dont have the funds to bring everyone out what do i do?? like my co-workers i work with 10-12 peopl (close to all ) i cant invite JUST one of them !!!
2007-08-16 10:26:29 · update #1
its not a WEDDING!!! i dont even know if were going out after woulds it would only be mom dad on both sides
2007-08-16 10:30:26 · update #2
Your Maid of Honor is the one who decides whether or not to throw you a bridal shower. If your rude friends don't want to show up becuase 'your not having a wedding' then poo to them.
Have fun, and don't let anyone say YOU CAN'T
And I disagree with those ladies who say you can't invite everyone to your shower. Some people would be insulted to not be able to participate in some way, even if you don't have room at city hall for them to come! Most people will understand.
My employer threw me a bridal shower and everyone came, even though I couldn't fit everyone from work in the guest list.
*Edit* Let me point out that anyone you want to 'party with' that you can't get to the wedding can be told 'no gift necessary' or 'please come just to celebrate'.
If you leave some people out of the shower and the wedding, I think it would be doubley rude.
2007-08-16 10:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by Monchichi 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Go ahead and let your Maid of Honor throw you a shower. Proper etiquette is getting so ridiculous!! People are acting as if the WHOLE world will turn upside down if you go ahead and accept this shower. Who cares if some people that might come to your shower aren't invited to the wedding. If they don't want to come, they won't. They'll understand that you're just having a few at the ceremony. It's not like you're inviting 300 people and not inviting just a certain few. Then, i could kinda understand. Geesh. Good luck and Happy Wedding fellow October Bride!!!
I marry my sweetie October 20 07
2007-08-16 18:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by mom to be 6/27/09 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Of course that's not right! You're still starting a new life together, a new life needs new things that didn't exist in the "old" life.
It sounds to me like whoever is saying that has got a deeper issue because there is absolutely no logic behind it.
Edited to say: I second what the lady below me said. If you're planning on having a shower with a lot of people invited, then that's a little unfair. Your bridal shower should consist of the people who are coming to your wedding.
2007-08-16 17:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by quiet_hands 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its awfully rude to invite guests who will not be attending the wedding. It would be like you are saying "I dont think you are good enough to invite, but you are good enough to give me a present"
I'm sorry, but thats just the way it is. Only invite the women who you are inviting to the actual wedding. Any other women it just looks like a gift grab.
ETA: I just read your additional details. I suggest that if you want everyone you put off the wedding for a bit and save your money so you can have the whole "Bride" experience. Because again, even if you WANT everyone to attend your ceremony, what you are planning is to NOT have everybody, therefore you dont get the shower because its rude. I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you want to have good manners you will refuse the shower offer out of good taste and respect for the people who will not be witnessing your vows.
After you marry then people will probably give you gifts, you will just have to wait to see what you get and then supply the rest yourselves.
2007-08-16 17:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If your Maid of Honor wants to throw you a shower, there is nothing wrong with that, no matter the size of the ceremony. Work closely with her on the guest list, though--etiquette dictates that only those who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower.
2007-08-16 17:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by Angie 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are geting married, and this IS your wedding. Why would you think otherwise?
Of course, someone can throw you a shower, but the guests can only be women who are invited to the wedding itself. So, even if it's small, you would still have one.
Congrats!
2007-08-17 10:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you shouldn't invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding/reception. It's like saying "you can give me gifts and money, but you can't be with me on my wedding day"
So yes, you can still have a bridal shower. But it's going to be a small one since you are having a small wedding.
2007-08-16 17:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is considered bad etiquette to invite people to a shower that are not invited to a wedding. If you are limited on your wedding, then you save a lot of money -- but lose a few gifts. No shower though with people who aren't invited to the wedding... if they're invited, then great... have a shower!
2007-08-16 21:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by mj 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is no problem with you having a shower. Your MOH is the one throwing it, not you, so you really have nothing to do with it! So of course it's fine, even if she invites a hundred people! You deserve one, small or large, no matter what the size or grandeur of your wedding.
2007-08-16 18:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by lenb81 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
damn who said that? i think you get a shower as a celebration between the bride and family and friends. like congrats here is a bridal shower. you dont need a wedding!
2007-08-16 17:22:46 · answer #10 · answered by grunt's wife 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋