Okay, this is a question I need help with. Please be helpful and not negative..thanks =)?

Question

Alright, right now I work 40 hours a week, my husband too. We have two children. My daughter is 5 and my son is 3. She starts school this year and I am stressing about making sure there is a place for her to go. See, we are new to the area and I don't have family here. Ok, so to the point. As of right now, she is in daycare, but Monday she starts school and the daycare spot will be lost. Now, when she has certain days off from school I have to work some of them and have no one to put her with since her daycare spot will be gone. These are my options: 1. bring her to work (which boss won't allow) 2. take time off (these would be unpaid days) or 3. get done my job and try to get state help until we can meet more people and become better acquainted with the area. This is just hard for me because she is my baby for one and I get nervous about her because she is epileptic and well, as a mother, I just get nervous..lol. Also, I hate the thought of going on the state. what (w)should (u)i do?

She loses daycare because the center is so filled that once you withdraw you son/daughter for school, then the spot becomes open for someone else.

As far as an after school program, yes, she is in one, but they are not open on the days the school is closed. neither are the daycares. kind of a double edged sword I know, but what can u do.

Also, I will NOT leave my children with a teenager as a babysitter. That just spells trouble, especially where I am new to the area. no way!

Ok, first off, Artist agent...it is not like I WANT to go on state help or that I refuse to work...hello, I am working 40 hours a week right now. I have worked since I was 15 and do have a college degree. I am not just a person to spread her legs, have kids and say **** it, let the state pay for them. This is something I am struggling with. I don't want to do it, but I feel in my heart, that I need to be with my children. They are adjusting to moving halfway across the country (from Maine to Florida) and they have no family here like we did there. This is a hard situation for not only me, but for my children as well. I do not appreciate your little comment as to "as I pay for it". you know, whatever, if you are so sore about it, quit your job and you go on the state and let someone else pay for it. Don't make snubbish remarks like that. Not everyone abuses help!

Catwoman, I totally agree with you about having someone else raise them. I never had them in daycare until we moved here. I had a p/t job, was in college and could bring my children with me and then I had my mom, dad, brothers, grandparents,etc. I think I am pretty much leaning towards your answer. I appreciate your sincereness and kindness as well. Thank you.

Also, thank you to the others that actually seemed sincere.
"You know what you should do. look for a babysitter" whatever girl. I am not pawning my child off on just anyone and I will not just leave her with someone I barely now. If you are someone who would do that, I suggest you take a long hard look at the things that could be happening to your child. Just because they have references does not mean they are not abusive. You just never now and there is no way I would subject my child to something like that. I would rather be poor and live on the state and know my children are taken care of and loved rather than worry

Answer 1

I realise that this is not the answer you are looking for, but I gave up work to have my 3 children. I saw no point in having them to let someone else bring them up. Financially it was a struggle but it was worth every minute. I saw the first smiles, the first steps etc and I would'nt have missed it for a moment. There was plenty time to go back to work and I love that too, it's my time now, and I have just the greatest relationship with my kids and their various 'ad-ons' !

Answer 2

I am right with you on everything. I have 3 children and it has to be family or someone I really know and totally trust for me to let someone else watch my kids.
State help is for people who need it... not for those who abuse it! If you need it for a short time so you can get your feet under you, figure out what you need to do, and take care of your family...do it!! Don't ever become satisfied with where you are at as far as if you get state help, keep looking for solutions and when you can you will be able to quite state assistance. But there is a reason that it is there!
Your daughters well being is more important that anything and she does have health problem also which makes it more important that she have adequate care. And there just isn't anyone like mommie! Good luck in the decision making!

Answer 3

Contact the school and ask for options. They see a lot of people in the same situation and probably have some ideas for you.
Contact other parents in the class. See if any of them will be willing to share babysitting duties on off days. (I'll bet you'll find at least 2) Then you only have to take 1/2 or 1/3 the days off and no one pays anyone anything because you are all helping each other out.
Ask your employers if you or your husband can pick up a weekend shift when you take a day off. It means seeing less of each other for a year or two, but it could solve the problem....and the boss will appreciate your willingness to work around the issue instead of calling out on off days all the time.

Answer 4

Have you checked with her current daycare about keeping her on her days off from school? Most daycares take older children before and after school for parents who work early or late. They put them on the bus to school, and the bus drops them back off at the daycare in the afternoon.

They might also be able to make arrangements for you to leave your daughter on the days when she doesn't have school but you need to work. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

I think this would be the best thing since they are familiar with her special medical needs, and she is used to going there.

If the daycare doesn't have anything available, ask her previous daycare workers if they have any suggestions, including if they babysit or could recommend a sitter. Since your daughter would feel comfortable with them, they make great sitters.

I definitely don't think it is worth quitting your job for the few days during the school year where you have a conflict.

This is a tough situation. You are very smart to ask for help and suggestions so that you can make the best decision for your daughter. Best of luck.

Answer 5

It's hard when it comes to your kids to decide what is the best option. I would say take the days off that she is home. I know it is probably hard to take days off without pay, but it might be the best option. I went from working full time to working just three days a week because I only had a babysitter for those three days and I didn't want to leave her with someone I didn't know. I hope that it all works out for the best and good luck!

Answer 6

I'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mom, but my mother wasn't or choose not to be, but we won;t get into that. See if you can get some flex time at work, maybe work a few more hours on the days that you do work, or work an occasional Saturday. Most employers are more flexible these days. Some will even let you work from home. I would also talk to office at her school and see if they have any suggestions. Maybe even her current daycare might be able to offer some suggestions.
And don't feel guilty about having to work, you have to do what you have to do.

Answer 7

LIke the poster above mine said; perhaps you can find a nearby, accredited day care that has an after school program. Here in Michigan, Kindercare will even pick your kids up from school (if it's in their locality) and take them to the center. Also, most centers with this type of program will have some type of plan for non school days, or snow days, or what have you.

Or, perhaps your school has an aftercare program at the school. We also have this at my son's school, and it was quite convenient when he started kindergarten.

Either way, good luck to you. My wife and I are in pretty much the same boat. We moved to a new state, don't know a lot of people, and it's not like we have a ton of time to socialize and try to meet new people. I know it's hard....good luck!

Answer 8

I am so sorry. I understand your plight totally. I would look online for where I could find state approved babysitters and then I would go interview. If you get a good feeling about the person right off the bat, go with it. If you dont get a good feeling right away, run run run away.
If that doesnt work, I would tell my boss, Sorry..but we havent found anyone yet and I am screwed and family comes first...just explain the predicament you are in. Bosses can be real @$$es at times but SOME can be really understanding.

Good luck!!

Answer 9

Without knowing what you do for a living it's hard to say, but is there any way that you could telecommute on those days? I work part-time so I can stay home with my boys, and half of those are worked from home. Otherwise, if I were you I would take the unpaid days and try to find another way to supplement your income - could you freelance at something? Work retail a couple of nights a week?

Answer 10

you could try a local church sometimes they have mothers day out programs that might fall on the days that she is out of school. i was also wondering if her school days off are like holiday or does she just not go every day??!! ok well good luck on the church idea. oh yeah and some times time churches and even som elementary school have cheap after school programs ext. lol i also just thought of another idea for you. i don't know i your income now is like your main income but if not then may be you could consider finding a baby to keep at home, like a home day care KINDA but it would only be one baby. you could charge 50 to 60 dollars more than a daycare does because it would be so 1 on 1, to keep the child at your house. anyway good luck.