Its hard being a housewife and my husband doesnt understand that.How can u make them understand?

Question

Im a military wife in Germany to be exact and I just got the internet hooked up to start doing online classes and Im about to get job as a substitute teacher but hes constently leaving because of trainig but most men assume that we have an easy life, he says we hang out, work out , do whatever we want and he understands it boring but that if he had our life that he would be happy. I mean, its pretty hard to explain to him and it almost feels like he doesnt even care and apperatly we bacome naggers after marriage but it gets so boring andagghhh...any help?

Answer 1

make him walk in your shoes for a few days

Answer 2

I'm a military wife too (just moved to Oklahoma after being in Germany for 2 years!). The problem is not that being a housewife is hard (because if you're honest it isn't - sure you clean up but if you did it all at once it would only take 2-3 hours a day compared to him being at work sometimes 12 hours a day). The problem is that you are bored. Try to get some routines in place - once you have your house under control you'll find you have tons of times for online classes, hobbies, volunterring, working out, visiting friends etc. Try www.flylady.net for help on routines and cleaning your house, its a free site with great advice. You need to be confident in yourself and find stuff to do without your husband. Yes, it sucks when he's gone, but that doesn't mean that you can't find constructive things to do. I know a lot of women get stuck in a rut where when they're husband is gone and they don't know what to do. Develop your life so that you are self sufficient and can do everything by yourself - that way when he's home you can spend time doing fun stuff. Oh, and stop nagging him - if you expect him to do a certain chore around the house just let him know and then step back. If he doesn't do it ask yourself if its worth hassling about or if its a simple chore that you could do yourself. He does work very hard (my own husband gets up at 4:30am and works till 6pm so he doesn't do much housework at all except cutting the grass on the weekends). Good luck and God Bless both of you! Its hard to adjust to an Army schedule, but you can do it and make your marriage work - just adjust your priorities and develop routines!

Answer 3

That's a very interesting post. Some of it dovetails now with what I already know or observed in my brief time in Egypt. The only thing I can suggest is that both you and your husband will have to make allowances for one another's expectations to make this work. I'm thinking of my American aunt and her Danish husband, how they met one another half way. Of course, Egypt is even further culturally, but you seem to be getting a pretty good handle on things. I've heard that the systems there are so intricate that you can't even so much as make a hotel reservation without an Egyptian to help you, and my own experience suggests that's right.

Answer 4

It is tough being a military spouse, but not as tough as being a member of the military. I'm living the easy life, compared to my husband who is in Iraq on his third tour. The reason you stay busy is to make the time he's gone go by faster. Right now I rarely have time to think during the day. Between taking care of our son, working full-time, taking a few classes at the local community college, volunteering around town, and making sure I have time for both our families, the days fly by!

Your husband sacrificed his time to do this, and you knew what you were getting into when you married him. Try to find a hobby or something. Keep busy!

Answer 5

It is a tough job being a military spouse. I was one for 20 years. We feel like single parents sometimes. But its also what you make of it. Make some friends, get a job or volunteer. some bases have wives club to go and have fun or talk with people who are in the same situation. it takes a special person to do the job but it can also be a rewarding one. I enjoyed it and we had 6 kids.

Answer 6

During my near 30 year career I'm confident my Frau (yeah, she's from over there) asked the same question many times. It's difficult to come home from a real-world deployment (spec ops) and have the wife meet you at the door expressing her concern about a leak in the kitchen faucet!

What we did was realize we had to live two lives. One as a loving couple now married for many, many years sharing each other's concerns and needs. Secondly, we had to develop an alternative life to deal with our own thoughts and wishes. She, as you are doing, went to work and involved herself in that aspect. It helped a lot, in fact still happens today. I got into sports to work off some of that deployment agression. Then:

I sat and listened to her problems at work and home.

She attended the games (even thugh she disliked sports at that time) to cheer me on.

So, it's a two way street. I think the best thing you can do is show your hubbie your question and answers here. He'll understand.

Good luck and thanks to your husband for serving America.

Answer 7

military wife here. My husband is not in the army or marines, he's in the Coast Guard, so when we first got married he was on a cutter(278ft) he got back 8 months ago and its now at a Station, there gone every 2 to 3 days and come back to stay the same amount of time they are gone.
and well they think its cake taking care of the house, the dogs, and having to go to work! How about when he gets home he's tired, well Fucke*r I'm tired too, and I still clean, cook, take both the dogs out, and work!

OH hun hit me up on yahoo messanger, i can go on forever about those inconsiderate fools!!!

Answer 8

Its really hard, i actually just cam from Germany and i had two kids out there. When i got back stateside i got a job and now we split stuff 50/50. it was hard trieing to get him to do things but when stuff started not to get done he got up off his lazy butt and did it. Now that you are in school tell him that he has to start doing things and assign things yall will both do.

Answer 9

back home, I'd say get a job and leave the less important things undone around the house.

however, you have this golden opportunity to learn German. Seize it.


GL

Answer 10

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence". You look at him and envy that he always has things to do and get irked because you're bored. He looks at you and envies you because you get to relax when he's always on the go.

I used to gritch at my wife while I was in the Army for the same thing...but then I took 30 days leave and just hung out around the house, and it drove me crazy with boredom.

Try to get him to understand that.

Answer 11

When he comes back from his next training, take a two-week vacation somewhere and leave him to fend for himself... he'll appreciate you a lot more after that.