What to do now?

Question

Please help?
My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for a few months, however remained in contact mainly as he wanted to stay in contact. I wanted to cut all contact with him but he was begging me not to. He was the one who broke it off with me. We have been arguing lately mainly because I still have lots of feelings for him and I get emotional. I asked him to call me on Sunday but he said he can't and I got really upset and told him that he should not contact me again. He texted back and he was pretty angry. We had arranged to meet up face to face in a couple of weeks but now he is now saying he isn't sure he still wants to meet. He said to give him a week to feel better as he needs time to digest our arguments. Why does he need all this time? I texted him today and asked him to be ok with each other but he told me that he hates being forced like this. He sounded pretty angry? I just don't know what to do? I am so powerless? He is showing me a wall?

Answer 1

What you need is some space and time to get over him.

Answer 2

Hi there,

This sounds like a really tough one! Do you still feel the same about the cutting contact all together?! Or was this a spur of the moment thing? You still say you have feelings for him?

Well, to coin a phrase they do say that 'time is a healer', but I think your ex is generally very confused. Perhaps he didn't see it coming, or perhaps he's never even considered the thought of losing you. I don't know.

What you must think about though, is as much as you don't want to hurt anybody, you really do have to consider your happiness and your wellbeing first. The ends of any relationship are always difficult, but there is really no need to hang on because of confusion or whatever.

Perhaps just give him a wide birth, and really try to start thinking about youself. " With every tear you lose a diamond from your crown" (Tom Baxter lyric)
Wipe those eyes and get yourself back on track. You'll be alright!

Answer 3

First of all, you need to speak to him coz you think he is really angry but to be sure you have to hear the tone of his voice, instead of interpretting it from a text. Secondly, how dare he think that he can break up with you just like that and you remain friends instantly. You need some space from him, the last thing you want to do is wait around for him, cause it sounds like you two aren't getting back together and imagine how hurt you'll feel when he gets a new girlfriend.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever be friends with him again, but give it a break, meet new people, meet other guys. Sort your own life out instead of waiting for him to sort his.

Answer 4

Really its true what they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and if it doesn't for you and your ex i would just move on arguments are not good just be glad their are no children involved you will meet your perfect match some day and you will know then that the argueing was just too much, but i hope it work

Answer 5

Hi!

I feel for you! This guy only wants you when your gone, so the very best that can happen here is for you to pull up your boot straps and do just completely blow him off for at least three weeks. If he really wants you but just feels smothered, he'll get curious and worried, and try to contact you again. If he is a dog, he will use your silence to scram, and that can only be better for you than this on/off nonsense. Please be strong, and believe that you deserve better, because you do! Take care of you!

Answer 6

he seems like he does not know what to do for the best...

i know how you must be feeling, me and my ex broke up a few months ago, however he starting seeing one of my "friends" i hate knowing there together and i get annoyed and upset about it too.

the best thing to do is try and get over him,

i don't see my ex at all but i still find it hard to get over him, it must be extremely difficult if your still in contact.

Answer 7

Oh my gosh, I am in the same situation as you right now!! My boyfriend and I have been broken up for about 2 months...every time we talk, i get emotional because i have so many feelings and questions-- I hate things being like this. But he refuses to talk about his feelings. He gives me absolutely nothing. If I get upset, he gets soo angry and tells me he doesnt want to deal with me crying and just wants to be broken up.

Yet, he still calls! It makes no sense...I told him it would be easier for me to cut all contact...but he always ends up calling too. I hate it...

I'm starting to realize that it is not worth it. And you should too. I know you love him with all of your heart. But honestly, listen to how he's making you feel. He's just like my ex-- treats you like you don't matter, but doesn't want to deal with how it makes you feel. He's selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings. If someone loves you, they should NEVER treat you like that.

I felt powerless too, like he was in complete control, stringing me along like a little puppet....and he didnt feel bad about it one bit. That's not what being in love should feel like....My advice would be, ignore his phone calls. no matter how hard it is. Let him see what life is like without you. I found that when I got a text or phone call from him, if I kept busy, or even wrote in a notebook or journal about it, it would keep me from giving in and calling back....

I'm sorry for writing so much...but good luck hun....it's horrible but just have faith that not everyone will treat you like that. you deserve better.

Answer 8

I'm really sorry but the guy sounds like he's moved on, or worse found someone else. Anyone who says they need time is generally stalling for something.

Good luck Babe, find someone else, move on, and make the bastard regret he ever left you

xxx

Answer 9

He's playing games with you - come closer; no, step away; no, come closer; no, step away - he's playing you like a yo-yo - drop him and move on. He doesn't need to digest anything - he's trying to get away with stringing you along as long as you'll let him. You'll be better off in the long run instead of wasting your time on this loser and passing up the chance at a real man.

Answer 10

hi suga, you need to listen to the few of us that are telling you to cut all ties with this guy. you have no kids with him so you have no emotional tie to him, the horrible truth is this man is dangling you on a string, you need to have some proper time and space away from him and then you will start to see him for what he is, he is a messer, and needs to let you go so you can heal, trust me sweetheart my ex was the same with me, the only thing is we have 3 kids together so i still have to have contact for them, but i made it plain that's all it is now and he had no choice but to play it my way, trust me babe lay down the law tell him how its going to be and if you are truly meant to be together things will work out, or you will both go your own ways and find some one who truly loves you for who you are good luck suga

Answer 11

i say leave the past in the past, you 2were already broken up and now you are just friends, so why are you waisting your time crying and getting emotional? its not worth it babygirl?! get over it. find some other fish in the sea. i dont understand why a guy needs time, thats stupid to me, thats like saying give it a break lets break up. stop communication for a while. i say you both need to let it go and stop trying with eachother. date others and find other friends. why be so conserned with someone who is your ex anyways?! forget him!