Why are black girls so easily offended from interracial dating?

Question

More specifically, I can't understand why it really seems to touch a nerve with SOME NOT ALL black girls when they see a black guy dating white girls.

I don't understand why this seems to offend them and touch a nerve when I walk by them. Many black girls usually say things like: "Those white girls need to stop taking all of our good men" and etc.

However, they don't realize that first of all I don't belong to anyone and neither do the rest of the black men that they want to claim.

Secondly, before I had a girlfriend the black girls who are complaining about the relationship didn't seem to make any effort at all to talk to me romantically. Therefore, why does it only seem to bother them when black guys find comfort in the company of another non-black girl?

To me this seems to be a dysfunctional form of competition between girls/women that should not exist. After all, if the interracial couple is happy why do some black girls get upset by us dating a nice white girl?

The poster named "Writer" said that I was right when I said that black girls are ugly...however, I never said that and certainly don't believe it.

My goal in a relationship is to find someone who I am compatible with that will allow us to enjoy each other's company. Nevertheless, with all of the drama/tension that some girls raise that doesn't seem possible when I am around black girls because I don't really have an aggressive personality or enjoy the "loud-talking" behavior in public.

I also don't think that black girls should be judged or villianized as a group. I take people as individuals and unfortunately I haven't been able to find a hot black girl with a reserved personality that I am compatible with.

That doesn't mean they have to be subservient or not have an opinion but just tone down the loud talking, saying "girl," "Ohh, child" and all of that other stuff that not necessary and I can live with that. But I do think the poster "Writer" is wrong to say that!

Michelle posted that I shouldn't have self-hate or abandon the black girls if I have money. However, one of the things is I am currently a student, don't have a lot of cash, and cannot offer some of the black girls the exclusive lifestyle of taking them out to expensive restaurants all the time and I don't have a car either.

Therefore, I'm wondering if the black girls themselves are discriminating against me for these reasons. When not having a lot of money and cash doesn't seem to be an issue with the white girls. They seem to like me for my personality and common interests instead of what I can give them that appeals to their friends.

So it's just hard period being single and finding any person that is completely compatible with you, where you won't get negative feedback/grief from everyone else.

I appreciate the responses from everyone so far. However, a few respondents seem to have become defensive and adopted the "classic" knee-jerk response when answering by saying I shouldn't be bias, have self-hate by settling, and that it happens to black girls with white guys.

However, to begin with I don't think interracial bias towards anyone is acceptable nor did I ever deny or state that black guys with white girls were the only ones who experienced bias.

I'm am sure that black girls who date interracially experience bias too. Nevertheless, the issue here is romantic compatibility not self-hate. Why is it that black guys who are more compatible/comfortable with white girls are practicing self-hate instead of just enjoying the company of a sweet girl who just happens to be white?

In most cases it's more about two people connecting instead of deliberately ignoring black girls purposely due to preference, which seems to incite a bitter & angry response from them. Why?

To "Writer:"
Stacey Dash, Beyonce, Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, Jurnee Smollett, Meagan Good, Vanessa Williams, Queen Latifah, Sanaa Lathan, Nicole Ari Parker, Kimberly Elise, Jada Pinkett Smith...

All of these women are very beautiful black girls which most of society agrees. Therefore, your statement that black girls are ugly is an incorrect personal conclusion and I believe you owe these ladies listed and most other black girls a sincere apology. (Beauty is an inward quality).

My point is not to bash black girls with my question but rather to open up a line of communication and subsequently began the road to reconciliation and healing for everyone who has resentment about interracial romantic relationships.

Answer 1

Speaking from a "black girl", you put the correct name in the heading girls. When you don't have a mature mentality then of course you are going to have something to say about an interracial couple. Most of the time it is probably because they are single, so they feel intimated that they couldn't find a man. I am guilty of this as well because i have walked past some black men with white woman and thought i mean if you gonna date outside ya race she at least needs to be attractive lol. But that stems back to personal insecurities. But why do black men stare down other black ppl when they are with a white girl, like they are waiting for us to give them the evil eye or something. Half the time no one really cares. And i bet this is the same way for white men who see white women with black men, so it isn't just one sided.So there is no general response to this question because every female has her reasons. But the white woman do seem to pick the good ones, i have noticed that. But there is nothin we can do about it but step up our game. So before these responses get out of hand, I wanted to be the first to give a more logical reason.

Answer 2

I think its just the area you are in and the Black women you are around. I'm a 20yr old Black woman and none of my black female friends have a problem with interracial dating. They even supported me when I'd date someone of a different race. I've dated Asians and hispanics and I've hooked up with white and black. There is nothing wrong with being in interracial relationships. And personally, I dont know anyone who has a problem with it. But maybe I'm just lucky

Answer 3

You are absolutely right. There is nothing wrong with being with a white girl. If you love her be with her. But don't be with a white girl because you think you can get away with bull%#$*. Don't have self hate an limit yourself to only white girls. Lastly, if you have money all of a sudden don't go get a white girl when you know she wouldn't talk to you otherwise. We are upset because black men are with white women for the wrong reasons. You should only be with someone because you like them or love them no matter what color they are! Oh yeah and to the guys who said black girls are ugly and can't get a white man. I've been approached by many white guys because this black girl is far from ugly!!!!

Answer 4

I honestly don't know, and I wonder the same thing. I do not have a problem with it at all! I think everybody should love who they want to, no matter the race, gender, or etc. I've seen it happen too, and it annoys me when some girls say that. It's downright mean. Don't let them get you down. I can tell you that not all black girls are like that though, and I'm glad you realize that. I'm sorry for their ignorance though. Love is love. People need to stop spreading disgust and negative attitudes. Good luck with everything! :)

Answer 5

Honestly I dont know for sure. I know it is kind of like "stick to your own kind" type of thing. I for one dont get offended but I do look at it and not say oh they're cute. I kind of have no real reaction to it. I dont know why. My bestfriend is white and dates black men. I would date a white man. But I think because the world still sees so much of color rather than the person that creates the problem. Its almost as deep as the problem people have when they see women with a woman and men with a man. Just some dysfunction thought process. Being so closed minded as to not be able to see that love comes no matter what race, sex, age, religion.

I know that some of my friends are intimidated by them because they feel as if their places are being taking but you are correct it isnt their place to be taken.

It might even be like you liking Nia Long but you dont act upon it if you meet her because you've seen her with someone that looks a lot better than you. You at that point have been intimidated by nothing other than looks. Same thought process I think. idk hope I helped some. email me if youd like 2 contine ue the onversation. I'd like 2 hear from the women who are offended and some white women who dat black men or whos friends do.

Answer 6

I think it's just that it's more common to see black man - white woman couples than it is to see white man - black woman couples. So naturally, the one who get the short end of the stick will be a little more offended.

It's the same thing for asians. White guy - Asian woman is much more common than Asian guy - White woman. So a lot of asian guys talk about how white guys are stealing asian girls and stuff like that.

I hope that help explain it, I'm not going to go further than this and let you decide how you want to handle yourself when confronted by "offended" and quite frankly "insecure" women.

Answer 7

I guess it's the same reason why white people look at blac women who date white men or white men who date black woem. Don't sit and act like it's a one sided thing and quite frankly I think that any Black person who asks these crazy *** things is in total denial. So it's not ok for black women to say something but you will ignore the comments that come from whites. Get A CLUE!!!

Answer 8

Take it as a compliment. The truth is if you were an ugly, jobless, loser who was also black dating a white girl they would not care.

How many black women were saying "why are white women taking our black men" when Flavor Fave was dating that white chick? I very few. But if Densel Washington dated a white woman, all black women around the world would be in an uproar.

Answer 9

I know how you feel I think yeah SOME black women do say that, but equally white women can think the same thing sometimes. LikeI was totally in love with this one guy and he was engaged to an asian woman, and I remember thinking SHE was taking like "my" guy instead of marrying a japanease guy, but really it was just my jealousy and nothing to do with her being from Japan. It's just like girls are always in competition and will use any so-called insult, so sad.

Anyway I'm over it ;)

Answer 10

KH hit it on the spot. dont be so biased. because the minute a sista dates a white some black men are the first to call her a sellout and the crazy part is that he'll have a white girl on his arm WHILE he's saying it.

i have no problem with it. To each thier own. And the black women who have a problem with your relationship with your girl has some serious issues.