I bought the diamond. Should I give the engagement ring back?

Question

I gave him the diamond from my old wedding set (1st marriage). Tacky, I know. He bought a pave diamond band for $1250.

I broke off the engagement after catching him in several lies; one lie was about doing drugs behind my back. He did XTC and slept in a bed with a his best friend's girlfriend!! He says nothing happened but she accused him of touching her while she slept.

We both agree that I'm keeping the diamond. Should I give the band back?

Answer 1

yes. it's not about the money, it's the symbolic gesture. it tells him you don't want anything to do with him.

Answer 2

YOu may need to check the specific laws in your state. Since it is your diamond and he bought the band, you may need to give the band back.

An engagment ring is not a gift but a promise to get married. If you don't get married the ring goes back to the purchaser. Some states have stipulations depending on who broke the engagement off or who broke the "contract". Since he clearly is the cause of the break up you may be able to keep it.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I wouldn't, given the situation. But if you're still negotiating, work it out with him.

Factors to consider: Do you WANT the ring? How much will it cost to have it seperated from the diamond? What will/would you do with the diamond diamond if you have it taken out (re-set it in something else?) What is he going to do with a band without the main feature?

All in all, I'd say keep it.

Answer 4

I would say to keep the diamonds of course, but give the band back and cut your loses. Have you even thought of trading the diamond in or upgrading the diamond so that it's not linked to another marriage ? Something you might want to consider for the future. I know personally I wouldn't want my wife to be associated or linked to another man through something as meaningful as that diamond...

Answer 5

If he asks for the band -- get the diamond removed and give it back! Either way if he is doing XTC and sleeping with strangers it sounds like you got the better end of the deal -- best of luck to you!

Answer 6

No, you get to keep it because he was the one who did the dirty on you. Why wreck a good ring? Keep it. You deserve it. It isnt worth anything anymore anyways, without the diamond and with depreciation........he could pawn it maybe for a hundred bucks or so but that would be about it.

Answer 7

I don't think you have to give the ring back if it is his fault. Now if it was your decision and there was nothing wrong in the relationship, then yes. Ask him if he wants it back. Chances are he can't do anything with it anyways. And using the diamond from a previous marriage is kind of a precurser to how this one might be. My mom's second marriage was like that after she used the ring from her first.

Answer 8

If you don't, he may continue to bother you for it. I have two friends who sent the rings back because they wanted the guys out of their lives forever.

I know someone who cut theirs up with a wire cutter and sent it back to the guy.

My sister continues to wear her diamond band on her right hand, though she's been divorced for a year.

Answer 9

Since you gave him the diamond I would say that technically it belongs to you. Have it removed and give him the setting back..
Oh and living well is the best revenge.

Answer 10

To be perfectly honest, if a man had done all that to me I'd "accidentally" lose his number, make sure not to answer my phone when he called, sell that sucker for all it's worth, and splurge on what I got for it.
But that's just me.... I have no problem with holding grudges.
The best thing would be to give it back to him which is what you should probably do.

Answer 11

the fact that you supplied the diamond on your own engagement ring was the first red flag.....i would keep the ring but that is just me