I'm in love with him, too, but 4 days after he said it, I found out my cancer may be back. I'm really afraid of hurting him. I feel as though it's wrong to get into a relationship with him because of my illness, but I really want to be with him. I don't know what to do. Please help.
2007-08-16 07:32:32 · 22 answers · asked by Katie B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What will change if you change titles. Do you think that the phrase "Do you want to be my lover?" is going to suddenly alter your relationship or feelings? It won't. You love him now, you will love him then. He loves you now, he will love you then. The only difference is in the way you are making him feel.
To do this is to push him away, not just to reject him. It is to say that you don't want him as a part of you, that you want to remain wholly seperate. It doesn't protect him, and it CERTAINLY doesn't protect you. It is the ultimate pain, there is truly nothing that can compare, to have someone do that to you at the height of your love for them. Nothing but bad things can come from attempting to save someone from themselves, particularly in this case.
Go to him, be happy. Make him happy. If this really is the last time in your life, then you will both need that happiness. He is going to be just as hurt by your passing (if, and I do mean IF, it happens at all) regardless of the name you put on things. The only difference is how the two of you will feel in the interim.
Let me make something clear. I realize that this posting reads rather harshly. I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am not saying you are a bad person. What you are trying to do is noble, it is simply misguided. If it would do what you think it would, it would be an extremely touching and romantic gesture. Unfortunately, you cannot save him from this pain. Heartbreaking as it is, there is nothing you can do to protect him. Be with him. Hope for the best, and love him with all your heart. That will be the greatest gift you can give him.
2007-08-16 07:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by Exosus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law had much the same situation. She had been dating a guy from work for a little while when she found out she had stage 4 colon cancer. She tried to get rid of him, but he wanted to stick with her and he did. After 6 months of chemo she is cancer free and they are still together. If he's your best friend, give him the opportunity to be there for you, either as a friend or a lover. It's not going to hurt him less if you were (God forbid) to die having never told him how you feel. Good luck with your health-- I hope it's a false alarm and all this worry was for nothing.
2007-08-16 14:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by CNJRTOM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you'll let the cancer keep you from living as well as POSSIBLY killing you?
I'd say go for it. If you both love each other, and he knows you have cancer, then he should know what the odds are. It isn't right or wrong to enter into a relationship, but it is wrong to let cancer entirely rule your life.
2007-08-16 14:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by CaptDare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, when someone loves, truly loves, they love unconditionally. Don't let the cancer win by letting it make you miss out on what could be the love of your life! Your more likely to fight the cancer if you have a more positive attitude! Best Wishes!
2007-08-16 14:41:29 · answer #4 · answered by j c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and tell him about your cancer. Let him know you don't want to hurt him but you want to be with him. Let him decide. Make sure you let him know how you feel though you do want to live with "what would be different if i told him" you want him to know. I know if he really loves you he will be there for you no matter what. <3
2007-08-16 14:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by prettie_girl826 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two should get together and try to have a wonderful relationship. Don't let you illness interfere in your chance to be happy. You only said it MAY be back, so until you KNOW it's back, live life and have fun.
2007-08-16 14:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by ralos2k3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since I have been in your situation I urge you to go to www.herbdoc.com. I did and it changed not only my life, but the way I am living now and have been living for the last few years. I urge anyone who is going through what you are going through to check out this site. Navigate it to your hearts content and if you decide to take advantage of their products. I will be talking to you 50 years from now too.
2007-08-16 14:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live! Whats the use of fighting off a potential terminal illness if not to LIVE!?
"It better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
That is the one of the truest statements I've heard.
Good luck, I pray you get better and I pray most of all that you allow yourself to love and be loved.
2007-08-16 14:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by slushpile reader 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let nature take its course. My wife and I started out as friends, then grew to be best friends, then in love. You are obviously drawn to him and if he truly loves you he will want to be there for you no matter what. If you are sick, then who better to have help you through it, then your best friend. I understand that you don't want to hurt him but it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. I wish you the best.
2007-08-16 14:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are sick and are scared of getting in relationship with him because of it. Tell him exaclty what you said here. Then if if loves you enough he will be there with you through everything, if not hopefully you have a really good friend that will still be by your side no matter what.
2007-08-16 14:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋