I need help in convincing my mother-in-law AND my husband about my decision w/ my 6yr old son!!!?

Question

Without going into detail (it's very detailed!) my son has a medical condition called encopresis, which causes him some days to poop his pants several times a day! Some days so much that he literally has to crawl to the bathroom to be washed off in the tub! So, I've decided to home school and home bound him until he's cured. They both insist that....
A) My husband pooped his pants once in a while & she sent him to school & he is fine!
B) Putting him in school later will be hard on him to adjust
C) He's not getting the socialization he deserves! (Although he is in different groups)
D) All kids get teased in school, it's just part of life!

I just don't see how he could concentrate with worrying about when he will have to "go" or how he smells or leaving the classroom so many times to change his pants! Also he is very shy & I could not see him having the courage to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom & then have the courage to walk stiff or bow legged all the way to bathroom?

I am getting treatment for my son but it is detailed and takes several months if not longer since we have had no success yet?

Answer 1

Your MIL needs to mind her own business. This is between you your husband and your son. If you feel it would be best to home school and you have the means of doing so, then do it. You cna compromise with your husband and let him know you are willing to assess the need each summer.

Answer 2

I still agree with you girl, i think it's best to home school him, first, i'd talk to them about the points they brought up and explain how they are different....like a) you understand your hubby did that every once in awhile but he did not have the condition your son has that he may do it several times a day not just every now and then, b) putting him in school later will not be as hard as they think, he will be a bit older then and he will probably be excited about going since he may be homeschooled for awhile, c) he gets socialization since he is in playgroups and he can also have friends over and such d)yes, kids get teased in school and yes its a part of life but the type of teasing he will receive because of his condition will be much more harsher than the normal things kids tease one another about and he may become depressed, or not even want to go back to school ever again or think he is different and will have a low selfesteem because of there teasing....I know how hard it is talking to people when they have there mind made up and you have your heart set on something else, but they need to sit down and you all have a talk and way the pro's and con's and realize that you just want whats best for him..i really pray for you that it all works out girl....

Answer 3

Your MIL and husband are being cruel, I believe you have made the right decision, especially at 6 years old. There will be plenty of time to address the socialization issues later. Why not offer this up as a temporary decision, to be re-evaluated once a year? Also, there are lots of home schooling groups, so you can get in some of that socialization in a much more controlled environment, so that you can be right there at the very moment your son needs your help. Good Luck with this, I hope he gets cured.

Answer 4

I think it is a good idea for you to home school. Let's break this down:
A) Times were different when your husband went to school.
B) Putting him in school now with this condition may turn him off school all together if he needs to worry about his condition.
C) The socialization he will get may be very traumatic if his condition flares up. Alot of kids are home schooled. He doesn't need to go to school for socialization. He can get it from Boy Scouts or something like that where you can be there if an issue arises.
D) All kids do get teased at school but not for something this severe. This is something that will probably follow him throughout his school life.

Let me throw in something else. Although your mother-in-law means well, you don't have to convince her. This is something that you and your husband need to decide.

Answer 5

Have you thought about rectifying the problem of encopresis? Instead of pulling him out of school, you can get him some medical attention as well as dietary attention. Nobody wants to be "that" kid, as the damages are lifelong. Homeschooling could be an option for him and your husband/mama's boy and mother in law should stand by it. The only way to convince them is your own son's tears. Seeing that he is suffering should be enough to warrant some action. He can get socialization by playing with neighborhood kids or doing extracurricular activities.

Answer 6

BigM,
just keep your foot down on this matter and keep with what YOUR decision is. Your husband "may be fine"; however, by the sounds of the friends he keeps I beg to differ (previous questions you have posted that I have answered). If your son is forced to go to school now and is faced with trauma that he may not recuperate from then you will forever hold it against yourself for "caving" in. Your son will be resilient later, for now take care of the condition and your son WILL make the adjustment as time progresses.

Kids can be mean - end of story.

Best to you!

Answer 7

First off, you and your husband are the only two votes that count, the rest of the "help" can be ignored.

If you are able to home school your son for the first several years to help him get over this problem, then do it. He will probably be very appreciative and it will take a lot of pressure off of him. Let him know that you will continue until he feels confident enough to return to regular school.

In the long run, he will learn to socialize. His shyness is probably because of his problem.

Answer 8

I would send him but before school starts explain to the teachers his problem and just see how it goes. If your son can't handle going to school after a few days then I would home school him. That way he can have the experience of a classroom. And he can iteract with other kids. you could send him in a pull up to help him not have to change his pants.

Answer 9

As a mother of 4 two school age children in my opinion you do not have to convince them of anything. You make the decision and stick to it. Your instinct tells you to home school...so home school him. No one is going to handle this unique situation quite like you are. And if your mother in law likes maybe she can volunteer to sit in school with your son and clean him up every day!!!(JUST A LITTLE MIL HUMOR) On a more serious note how does your son feel about it. Your husband may have pooped his pants and i bet you he was teased and not admitting it. If they are worried about social skills he can learn that in day to day activities outside of the home that involves home school children.. good luck to you and your son...block out all the negative criticism

Answer 10

I am extremley sorry mam but i agree with your Husband and mother in law. by keeping him home with you, you are causing social withdraw, you are basically saying to him there is something different about you and you have to stay home because of it. Children with conditions are best treated as normal people that way they will always think of themselves as a normal person and not as someone with any problem. I understand your concern maam, becuase this is your child your baby, and you would rather die them to see him go through any sort of pain whether it be emotional or physical but sometimes you have to let go for the better of the child. Whenever he comes home crying because someone teased him you just remind him over and over that he no different then any other child that is mkaing fun of him he will succed with your support and the support of your family jsu always be there for hi. i sincerly hope this helps