If you could be skilled in using one weapon?

Question

what would be be and why? I would like to to have the skill to use a sling shot or pellet gun why cos we have two kids that have been playing out the back all day with a kazoo and have been blowing it like mad all day, they have been asked to stop (not by me) and their response was f**k off (lovely kids all of about 6!) I'd like to sit on my balcony with the sling shot and aim soggy bits of tissue at them (well I would like to aim something else but you know what trouble I'd get in!), and splat them on the side of the face!!!!!

Miamh and everyone else when reading "please stick tongue firmly in cheek when reading and answering this"

Dunk maybe you can come sit with me lol.

Oh and the parents are no better than the kids!!!

Answer 1

Ooooh! A water balloon catapult!

Or a coconut cream pie.

Answer 2

The Gertcha people from Arcturus 5, which has a very cloudy atmosphere, have a weapon called the rain gun. When accurately aimed at a cloud, this weapon will create very heavy, very localised rainfall. A true master can soak a small spotty dog urinating against a car wheel. This weapon is admirably suited for use in the UK.
For sunnier climes we have to journey to Gannymede 7 where the Binglish use a bee shooter to fire really angry bees or other insects at their opponents. There's nothing quite so sure to distract the mind as getting a maddened hornet in you ear 'ole. Firing these bee shooters is quite an art because of the danger 'sting back' where the shooters own tongue is stung.
As a flying saucer pilot I'm already pretty good with a razor edged frisbee.
Oh dear, I feel a dreadful urge to carry on with this nonsense but I've got to shoot off to Mars for my tea.
Farewell Earthlings.

Answer 3

While Ganymede has some wonderful options, Master Baggins, I prefer the clime of Tralfamador, where telepathy is a mastered art, and then I would take control of the minds of those little twerpy 6 year olds and teach them the value of love.

Or at the very least, telepathically and telekenetically knock them on their sorry little butts.

Tempered with a lot of love.

Answer 4

I wouldn't mind being a sniper!
or a light saber would be cool
Bow and Arrow like Legalos (or any film that the actor has been in, I'm sure he's allways got a bow and arrow)
or I would love to be a master at every fist of kung fu!

Answer 5

I used to live in a very busy road when my Children were babies and we used to get all sorts of people from night clubs walking past at all hours shouting and jumping on cars. I armed my self with a water squirter and when the nights were really bad used to shoot the drunk people with water Mwha ha ha ha they never knew where it came from. Ermmm I have a very simple mind and am easily pleased.

Answer 6

Ask them up to your flat for a drop of 'jesus juice'. Unless you are a millionaire, they will soon get scared and F**k off.
Then just sit back and wait for the petrol to come through the letterbox.

Answer 7

Ooooh, tough question. I think being able to wield a sword (especially Japanese style) would be sweet. I'd like to be able to throw knives and knife fight, too, though.

And just take the kazoo away and give it back to their parents.

Answer 8

Sword. Classic and nice to brandish around and freak out people.

Oh yeah and martial arts because if you get mugged and you don't have your lovely sword....just make sure you have two arms and two legs, and start handing out blows.

Answer 9

My other half reckons I am skilled in using my weapon, my tongue! Well I probably have had a lot of practise!

Answer 10

I would love to be skilled at using a crossbow!! Great for longer distances and virtually silent!