why is she so protective?

Question

ok so everytime i tell my mom i have a boyfriend she yells at me cuz i asked them out and she says no to put labels on guys so to speak the (boyfriend). well anyways i have a really strong relationship with my mom and i want to be able to tell her about my new boyfriend (he asked me out) but i'm still worried that she'll yell at me again. last time she banned me from the phone, and computer to make sure i didn't talk to him, and she made sure i dumped him. well i really like my new boyfriend and i dont want to tell my mom if it means losing him i'd rather hide it. what should i do???please help me.

Answer 1

Knowing your age would help. It sounds like she thinks you're too young for a bf. Depending on your age, she's probably right.

Answer 2

Sometimes this happens....your mom might have had an unpleasant experience in her youth that's causing her to behave this way towards your choices about boyfriends.

I'd like to advise you not to tell her, because that would just be easier on you and your boyfriend, but it's really not the right thing to do. What if something goes wrong? Then you won't be able to tell your mom about it, and you could get into big trouble.

I'd say...don't wait, because if you do, your relationship could end up serious, and you'll be attatched...it's always harder to let go when that happens. Sit down with your mother and start the conversation off by asking her why she won't let you have a boyfriend. Once you find out why she's acting the way she is, and you've gotten her to open up a little, then you can make the decision whether to tell her or not right then and there.

I wish I could give you more advice, but unfortunately, yours is an extremely difficult situation to deal with. I'm stuck in a relationship right now that I've had to keep long distance on purpose because of my father. I've been with my bf for almost 2 years now, and my dad still doesn't know about it, but I also have my mom on my side, and she's been helping me date behind my father's back. It's been difficult, but I have someone on my side to help me. It's probably alot worse when you shut out the only people who can help you (your parents). If your mom is all you have, I'd stay open to her and not sacrifice the relationdhip you have with her for a new one that might not last....

Still....talk to her about her feelings and then break it to her easy. Maybe once you understand why she's acting the way she is about your situation, then you'll be able to help her and yourself at the same time. It will make it easier on you both.

Answer 3

First off, how old are you? Maybe your mom is scared that you are too young to be able to handle the mature decisions that may accompany a real relationship. I wouldn't be so quick to jump the gun and be angry with your mom. She is probably just trying to protect you from a possible bad situation. Just talk to her, and ask her why she does this everytime you have a new boyfriend. If you are older (16 and up) then I would ask her flat out what her deal is, and if she did not have a good reason, then I would tell her that you guess this is going to be one part of your life that you, regretfully, can not share with her then. But tell her when she is ready to be able to be there for you in that aspect, you will be happy to include her again. Having boyfriends and socializing is important to the growth and development of a teenager... just be smart about it though!

Answer 4

First off, it depends on how old you are. She may worry for you especially if you're young. However, going through extreme measures to get you to leave your boyfriends is a bit too harsh. It would be a lot more effective if she had a talk with you, rather than taking an authoritarian stance and forcing you to do this.

If you feel you have to keep it a secret, then do so. Your mother is close to your heart, but she must also realize that you are entitled to your own love life. Perhaps the best thing for you to do is take her aside sometime and have a calm discussion about your worries - but stay assertive.

Answer 5

She's got your best interest at heart. She probably made a few mistakes when growing up; did a few things, slept with a few guys she now regrets, and just doesn't want the same thing to happen to you.
Try to see it from her point of view, but be honest with her. Just tell her a boy asked you out (leave off the "boyfriend" tag) and act like its no big deal. Play it down (even if you are actually excited) and maybe she'll lighten up a little. She just doesn't want anything to happen too quickly.

Answer 6

First of all, how old are you? IF you are close to your mom you should ask her why she is so over protective. Then LISTEN to her answer. Tell her there is a boy you like who asked you out but you would like her to meet him. She is trying to protect you, because she feels out of the loop and doesn't know who he is. Don't hide it from her because she WILL find out then she will lose trust in you. Ask her if you can invite him over for dinner or something so she can get to know him. If he is appropriate for you (as in close to your age and not some creep like 15 years older than you or something), then your mom will probably be more accepting.

Answer 7

Dont tell your mom about him right away. Have him over the house and allow your mom to get to know him just as a friend of yours. Once she sees in him what you do, she will see why you want to date him and maybe be more understanding

Answer 8

well u need to sit downand have a long talk with your mom and tell her she cant control ur life forever and that you ahve to grow up sometime. ask her what shes gonna do when you get married or whatever. she is just looking out for you though so dont over react! just the two of you go out to eat and say mom this really nice guy asked me out and i want you to approve so blah blah blah just talk

Answer 9

parents are always very protective & concerned towards their child & she is no exception.what i think is if u really like that guy,go on with him without letting ur mom know about him.u will initially feel some guilt but than something are more fun when they are untold. u r not commiting any sin anyway.

Answer 10

ofcourse your mother has the right to know whom your dating. But at the same time the Truth shall set you free!Your growing up..you cant help it if your feelings is starting to grow. do what you think is best!date the Gentlemen!but respect your mother..just know this 0nce you start lieing to your mother about your where abouts,and disrespecting her you've cross the line.she will love you but lo0se your trust and hate yoyr boyfreind!