I want to commit but have no money for a ring yet!?

Question

My girl has been pressuring for a commitment (engagement) and I have finally decided she deserves one. Problem is I dont have money for decent ring yet and may not have it soon. Meanwhile she thinks I am using her and do not want to commit. So, what is better -

1. keep delaying whilst I save for a ring and she's frustrated or
2. Buy a not so good ring that I will replace later?
3. Engage the traditional african way with no ring (I'm in Africa). This way is regarded as backward by most people and I know women love diamonds

What do I do?

I am not quite ready but I also pressured her into sex when she was not ready either so fair is fair. I cant tell her about the options coz I want it to be a big surprise.

Answer 1

Ask her to marry you! Tell her the money situation and let her know you are saving for a ring. It is about Love and Commitment, not a piece of jewelry. YES women LOVE diamonds, but she LOVES you more! I was engaged for several years (because we were so young) and didn't get a diamond until 2 months before our wedding. Twenty years later, I still love the man, and the diamond I had to wait for because of money.

Answer 2

1. You better be sure first that you are doing the thing that is right for YOU and not caving in to incessant pressure.
2. If she thinks at this point that you are "using her" then I would take a step back and reevaluate.
3. The ring should not matter. I personally think that rings are overrated and way too much importance is put on them. If you still want to get engaged, then do it, ring or not. Get one later.

Answer 3

1. Does she know about # 3?
2. She needs 2 know where she stands with u, so #2 is a good idea.
3. Be a man and explain why u haven't gotten her 1 yet.
4. Take her out looking at rings after explaining #3.

Answer 4

Get a ring that isn't that great and upgrade it later.

OR

I am sure some people won't agree with this, but my friends were in the same situation. So, he bought her a beautiful ring with a FAKE diamond in it (no one would've ever known it was fake if they hadn't told people, so you can decide if you want to tell people or not, definitely be honest with her about it though). When this guy asked her to marry him, he said that one day he would replace the fake stone with a real one, and a few years later, for an anniversary, he did. I think it is very romantic.

These are pretty:

http://jewelry.hsn.com/3-02ct-absolute-sterling-silver-marquise-cut-with-round-sides-engagement-ring_p-3444295_xp.aspx?web_id=3444297&ocm=sekw

http://jewelry.hsn.com/real-collectibles-by-adrienne-7-94ct-diamonite-engagement-ring-and-double-wedding-band_p-3307749_xp.aspx?web_id=3307751&ocm=sekw

http://jewelry.hsn.com/2-9ct-absolute-princess-cut-14k-engagement-ring_p-2322768_xp.aspx?web_id=2322775&ocm=sekw

Answer 5

Are you sure that you want to propose a woman that can't understand your feelings and problems? Just talk to her about it.

If it's such a big deal to her then buy a nice ring on credit, and pay it off during the next few years.

I still do stress this, be careful who are you commiting to and think this through. You're better off on your own than with some selfish, abusive person.

Answer 6

i think you have to talk to her about this. tell her the truth regarding your financial situation. if she truly loves you, she will understand.

when my bf proposed to me, he didn't have money to buy me a decent ring. at first, i was really disappointed that he couldn't give me one but eventually i came to realize that there are far more important things than having a diamond ring. the ring is just a symbol, what i have is far more solid and concrete than any ring.

Answer 7

make sure that you are ready too because it does seem a little rocky when you say it. like she is pressuring you into it. i think that you can buy a not so expensive ring that looks decent and when you can afford a nice one give it to her as a gift! good luck and congrats!

Answer 8

Propose to her without a ring, but buy her a ring later.

Answer 9

How do you feel about the pressure?? If you do not like the pressure it tell her to back off, this might being setting the stage for what might happen later in the marriage she will be pressuring you about allot of things. if she doesn't back off,.. hit the floor running.

Answer 10

if u buy a little one out of a candy turn the quarter thing, and propose with that, say i dont have enough for a ring. but will u take this one anyway?