I haven't spoken with my father in 16 years. His family contacted me to let me know he passed away. I have no real attachment to that side of my family and have had no real contact with them in years. Is it wrong for me miss the funeral?
2007-08-16 02:05:14 · 22 answers · asked by diggerfloyd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no thats not wrong.how can u mourn over a stranger? basically thats what he is.
2007-08-16 02:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well if it were me I would go . Not for them but for myself because you only get one father is your life. And no matter what kind of relationship you had when he was alive at least pay your last respects by going. You don't have to connect with the family or anything unless you want to. Deep down inside everyone has a connection to there parents. Even if you think you hate them or don't know them very well or even not at all. If there is hardships between you then you definitely should go so you can say your peace. Cause you'll never get the opportunity again. Even if he is deceased and can not physical hear what you have to say, you will feel better.
2007-08-16 09:26:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Wrinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The funeral is for the living not the dead. If I was you I would go. In the long run you will not look back and feel guilty. If you have no attachment you still might mourn the loss of not having a relationship with him while he was alive. Go and be done with it. After all he lost out by not having a relationship with his child.
2007-08-16 09:20:35 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...i think it is... no matter how "unclose" or "unattached" you are to your dad, he is still your father. that's a fact no one can ever change. Even if you haven't got any real communication with him, he is still a part of you. He is after all your father so you really MUST attend.
If you think you shouldn't then it's really up to you...no force will tell you what you need to do...it's your own will...
that's why I said you MUST attend because for me families are important. I'm from the philiipines, 13 years old...Filipinos are known to have close family bonding / a "closely-knit clan"...
If you really couldn't attend, then just visit the cemetery when you have time....
2007-08-16 09:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by χ-ѕђαпz-χ Σ=ρнεпомεпоп=Σ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you haven't talked to your father in 16 years, do you treat your mother the same way?
That side of the family IS your family. This may be a good time to be repairing fences. Give the rest of your family and yourself a chance to do this.If you don't do it now, you may come to regret it later. Make your own decision, it can only be yours
2007-08-16 09:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that strongly about not going to the funeral, by all means, don't go. Unless you need some sort of closure and you think attending the funeral will give it to you, you've gone 16 years without talking to your father. I see no reason you should go.
2007-08-16 12:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Empress1 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like the various ones have said, it is up to you. However, having said that, is there going to be family there with whom you have a relationship, maybe see some long lost friends and family. If it is at all possible, I would go if I were you. If nothing else happens, you could feel a sort of release in the bargain.
2007-08-16 09:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by johnguppy1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. My father n law passed recently. He had been a real a** hole for years and my husband's relationship with him had been a strained one. He (hubby) was there at the hospital at his passing, and did attend the memorial, but...people gave him the dirtiest looks because they hadn't been close. Actually, the old man \had told everyone how my hubby had hurt him, so he could get sympathy. So, people draw their own conclusions. I used to love the old guy till a few years ago, but he started treating me like a piece of crap. Sooo, I didn't go to the memorial. My hubby wished he hadn't!
2007-08-16 09:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by zen 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He was your dad, whether you like it or not. Go to the funeral, pay your respects, and leave. It will mean the world to your family if you showed up.
2007-08-16 10:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong. Just go and pay respects to the man who brought you in to this world. You may reconnect with some family on that side too.
2007-08-16 09:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You might regret not going.
I was in the same situation a few years back. I did not want to go but hubby insisted. I am really glad I did go.
2007-08-16 10:28:36 · answer #11 · answered by melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋