We had been together just shy of 3 years. He recently decided to part ways not on the best of terms through an email. He told me to do as I wish with the ring, it was mine to keep or sell... and if I sold it and wanted to give him half that would be very generous of me. Any contact he has with me via email only, as of the past 2 weeks he never ceases to not mention the ring and what am I going to do with it. My thought is you told me it was mine to do as i'd like with it... DON'T BE AN INDIAN GIVER NOW. Furthermore, for right now I'm not going to do anything with the ring but keep it... it was a symbol of committment to me that he broke and I'm not ready to part ways with it yet. I will do something with it when i'm ready to do so. He's making me feel guilty about the ring even though he said he under no circumstance wants it back, but rather just money for it if i were to be so kind. Well I'm not feeling so kind right now... remember, YOU BROKE MY HEART. What should i do?????
2007-08-16 01:19:05 · 57 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When my first engagement ended (very badly), I tried to give the ring back - several times. He told me it was a gift, and to keep it. After much agruing, I threw it into a jewelry box where it say for about six months. I stumbled across it one day, and decided the diamond was pretty after all.
I took it to a jeweler's and had the diamond re-set into a custom-made pendant. The diamond meant nothing to me, and it actually looked prettier in the necklace than it did on my finger.
About three months after that, he suddenly decided he wanted the ring back. My response? I simply smiled and said, "I'm sorry. I can't do that. The ring no longer exists."
In your situation, though, I would give it back to him and tell him to sell it, keep all the $$ and leave you the h*ll alone. You're buying your freedom.
On a personal note, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how badly you must hurt. Give yourself time to heal. The best way to do that is to sever all communication with him. This really is a blessing in disguise - I promise! Hang in there!
2007-08-16 04:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by sylvia 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Save the email. You may need it for evidence if he takes you to court. Depending on your state, sometimes the ring or value has to be given back, but that email makes the ring yours as long as you didn't write back saying you would give him the ring or half the value. He is a jerk, and he doesn't deserve anything back. Don't feel bad for him either
You can always have the ring turned into another piece of jewlery, and that way he can't claim you "owe" him half of what you sold it for because you are keeping it. He said it was yours, so you owe him nothing. If you sell the ring, which you should probably do, don't give him any money. It is your ring. Use hte money on something totally frivilous like a spa day or trip with a girl friend.
Ask him to stop contacting you, and stop taking his calls and emails. Set his email address to spam. Now is the most important time to end contact so you can be strong and move on with your life.
2007-08-16 02:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry that he decided to break that news to you in such a cowardly way, but being that he broke off the engagement, you are under no obligation to give it back. As far a what you should do with it, maybe put it up for now and then see how you feel after you've had time to think about it. Do not keep corresponding with him about the ring, just simply say I will let you know what I choose on my own time. After that quit talking to him for a while, he's just going to cloud your mind with a mix of emotions. The only advice I have about the ring is to make sure to take it off your fingers, I know that sounds harsh but it will help in the long run. Good luck and the right guy is out there somewhere i promise.
2007-08-16 01:45:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jami 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The general rule of thumb is that if you end the engagement, you give the ring back. If he breaks it off, you keep it.
He broke the engagement (and was a real jerk about it, I have to say). The ring is yours to keep--he even said as much. He was right about that, at least.
I can understand you not wanting to give up the ring just yet, but when you're ready, you should either get rid of it, or have the diamond put into another piece of jewelry (like a necklace). Speak with reputable jewelry dealers and diamond experts; if your city has a 'diamond district,' take a look there. There's quite a market for second-hand rings, and diamonds do hold their value.
If you decide to sell the ring, under no circumstances are you obligated to share the money with him! Do NOT let him make you feel guilty about this--HE gave you that ring, then broke up with YOU. Clearly, the money is what's important to him.
For your own piece of mind, you should break off contact with him, at least until you've had some time to heal.
Good luck to you!
2007-08-16 02:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by briteyes 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Legally the ring goes back to him. Regardless of who breaks up with who. The ring is a promise for marriage so no marriage he gets the ring back.
If he told you to do what you want with it you can always take the diamond and make another piece of jewelry with it like a pendent or something. Right now I am sure you are upset and
are using the ring as an excuse to have some kind of contact with him. I know that right now this is the end of the world to you but I can say after being with a man for 10 years with no ring once you cut loose and enjoy life the right guy comes along and for me it was after 1 year of dating I got engaged and less then a year later was married. Things are still going good. Good luck and just know that in the end it is better to break up before then go through a divorce.
Best Wishes...
2007-08-16 03:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
KEEP the ring. Tell him off and ask him to leave you alone. Sell it and treat yourself to a cruise in the carribean or a day in the spa depending on the value of the ring. My ex boyfriend broke up with me and I packed every single thing he ever gave me and I was getting ready to do the stupidest thing ever: Send it back to him. Well no. Sold it. Got as much as I could and treated myself to a wonderful week of extravaganza. I'm still smiling when I think about it.
Under no circumstances should you return the ring. He lost both you and the ring when he decided to act like a donkey and break up with you via e-mail (it doesn't get more outrageous). Such a coward, believe me it's a blessing he's out of your life. Move on to better things with the ring or the benefit of its sale. Take care and good luck.
2007-08-16 08:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by Diva 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe I watch too many episodes of Judge Judy, but please print those e-mails and keep them just in case he tries to sue you for money from the ring. If he's a big enough jerk to break up with you over e-mail after 3 years, who knows what he'll do. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves to be treated that way. When you're ready to do something with the ring, you'll know what feels right to do with it. Don't respond to his e-mails. Print a few of them out for evidence that he said that you could do whatever you wanted to with it and make sure you don't agree to do anything specific. Then, it would probably be best to cut all contact. Block his e-mails and even change your number if you have to. No use pouring salt into a fresh wound. You need time to heal and get on with your life. When you're ready, you'll know what to do with the ring. Everyone greives in their own unique way, and this case will be no different. It takes time to get over a lost love just as it does to get over the death of someone close to you. Don't let anyone rush you through that process. Until then, focus on being the best you that you can be and remembering that this time in your life will not define you or what becomes of you. Focus on your friends and family and the other people in your life that love you. Being surrounded by those we love is the best reminder that things will be okay. Good luck to you.
2007-08-16 02:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, you should give the ring back to him and it may even be the law in some states (see source). Why would you want to hold on to it after the way he treated you :-( or even worse, go through the hassle of selling it and him continuing to try to collect money from you? It would not only give you closure and get him to leave you alone--- because I'm sure although he said he wanted you to do "whatever with it" . . . he's not going to stop bugging you about it.
My advice: send him some bad karma, ten fold, by mailing the ring to him, change your email, block his number, and get with your girlfriends, go out on the town, have a spa day.
Good luck with everything.
2007-08-16 10:12:17 · answer #8 · answered by Kate 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you must be feeling lousy but don't make any quick decisions. Do stop e-mailing him - you deserve a lot better.
Once you're feeling better, make your choice. If it were me, I would either sell it and enjoy the profits or have it melted down and something else made. Why not give his half to charity? Would he be enough of a loser to begrudge money to the sick or the poor?
Hope you feel better soon and meet someone who really will treat you properly.
PS: My fiance was married previously but his ex had an affair. Tried to sell the ring on Ebay but ended up throwing it in the sea!!!
2007-08-16 06:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by BooBoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's legally yours since he broke the engagement. The laws are that whoever breaks the engagement loses the ring. Since he ended things he does not get the ring back. The only time he might get it back is if it was a family heirloom and it clearly doesn't sound like it was. He is also legally responsible for any wedding payments that may have been made to catering halls, etc. You can sue him and get your deposits back. I agree with what others have said - to save your e-mails. You might need them later to prove that he broke it off.
Get rid of this guy and move on. Stop talking to him - even over e-mail. If he tries to contact you about the ring tell him it is mine and I will do what I wish with it. You lost the right to know about my life when you left. And in tell him there will be no more discussions about the ring. (That's if he calls - if he e-mails just don't respond anymore) You need to heal and every time you correspond with him it opens up the wound.
When you are ready sell the ring - or if it has a nice diamond in it have it made into a pendant. Good Luck and *hugs*
2007-08-16 05:19:16 · answer #10 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋