Seeing a guy for last 6 months, was friends with him for couple of years before we got together. He split with last girlfriend at beginning of 2006 (after 5yrs) , after a few months of loneliness started to go back for 'sympathy shag' (rubbish thing to do but understand some people do it). Ex wanted him back and she fell pregnant. My fella gutted, thought was on pill etc (no excuse, told him he is responsible too). We got together and i said i understand the situation, he must be there for child but not to tell her about us till baby born (she is slightly phsycotic older woman who will go to any lengths to have him including saying she will kill herself).
Child born 3 weeks ago now, my guy is at his ex's every day visiting child (i'm ok with this) his ex is seeing him everyday and living 'in hope' of them getting back together. I have told him he must tell her we are together to allow her to get over him, i don't want to end up bitter but he scared she won't let him see the baby.
2007-08-16 01:11:38 · 3 answers · asked by Chickenpie76 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he doesnt tell her, i don't know if i will end up one of those women who wait for him to come home and i question him about everything that was said or worse, i get her number and take the decsion out of his hands. He is a good guy (but a bit cowardly) taking the easy route out, i said it is best to sort it out now while baby is young and unaffected, he should do it legally and then threat of not seeing child not there. He just wants to be able to see his child, but i'm not gonna be a secret forever. do i give him a deadline ot tell her before i become bitter and we start arguing about it? or am i being unreasonable?
2007-08-16 01:16:30 · update #1
So, what do i do? i know he should tell her, but how long do i give him? (not an issue of him wanting to go back to ex, not kidding myself, i'm not a mug)
2007-08-16 01:30:45 · update #2
I understand he is scared she won't let him see the baby, but it is unfair on his ex, and ultimately his child, if he gives her any reason to think that one day they could be a happy family.
If he really doesn't want to be with her, what is the point in prolonging the inevitable? Does he think he will be able to see you until the child is 16 without her knowing about your relationship? That is not realistic - it is not going to happen, and she needs to know this so that she can get over him and start to think about how she is going to survive with a baby and on her own, as up until now she has probably believed that your bf will be coming back to her and hasn't thought about what she is going to do.
Even if she is a psycho, she still needs to be given a chance at figuring out what she intends to do.
If she does refuse to let him see the child, I have no advise there, but that is not fair, and she needs to see that too.
2007-08-16 01:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a bunch of bull . He is wanting her back because of the baby and I am afraid you are going to loose out on this one cause you cannot compete with the affection he has for his baby . Do you know that is his baby for sure or is she trying to trap him I think your b/f should have a paternity test done to find out . you two should know better always get a paternity test . good luck .
2007-08-16 08:19:05 · answer #2 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh god!! i am in the exact same **** situation! but my guy was married with her before and had too kids who are 10 and 6, been with him for 2 yrs and am so fed up with this situation, she doesn even know i exist ... that doesn really bother me, u just have to be patient if you want him
2007-08-16 08:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥P u S s y CaT♥ஐ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋