Situation: There was this girl that we were so close. Then, a conflict happend that led us to 3 years of not giving contact with each other. Just this week, we were reconcilied by some sort of miracle, i dont know. We were beginning to send sms with each other more often and we were so open with each other.
Now, my problem is, this coming monday, will be holiday in our country, now i invited here if she didn't mind going out with me for a lunch..just lunch..(yet she haven't answered whether she will go or not)... I really like this girl and really dont have any idea on how to make her special or happy on that day... I don't want to think that's it's a sort of date since we were just have been reconciled.. now, i'd like to know some tips from you, guys, on what am i going to do on that day... what is the first thing to do, what will i say, etc.. is going to the movies wont make her feel awkward or uneasy considering our situation? id really like to know your advices and tips,guys..ty..
2007-08-15 22:28:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First thing you say: nice to see you after all this time. If she's changed something about her look (like her hair) comment on it by saying the change looks good on her.
Ask her what she's been doing these past 3 years by using open questions (questions you cannot answer by yes or no). Open questions usually start with What, Why, How, etc. If you do this, she'll likely be talking 75% of the time with you just listening. Women love men that listen. Show a genuine interest. Don't ask questions just for the sake of asking.
Next, don't refer to your earlier relationship too often. Show her you've evolved and that you're not living in the past. Don't make set plans: think of a number of options, otherwise it looks too planned. Have lunch and let the conversation take its course. if you spend all afternoon in the restaurant, who cares? However, if you want to do something else, you can say: 'well, i was thinking we could go to (place 1) or perhaps to (place 2), etc. If she isn't too bothered about where you will go next, make the choice for her.
Don't think about the day too much. Just let things go their way. You'll be fine. Don't worry about feeling akward. She is probably feeling the same way.
2007-08-15 22:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I noticed that you are too conscious and too weary of what to do. That obviously made you too tense and insecure right? Well thats because you are subconsciously trying to treat her like a girlfriend. Yes I know you miss her & its been some time already since the good 'ol days. But things changed and so should your treatment to her ok?
I want you to take it easy 4 now, bro. Have a casual lunch in a lively place where food is good & priced well like fastfoods. thats right FASTFOODS!. Don't treat her in an expensive & romantic restaurant u understand?
The point here is to make her feel open, safe, casual and lively. This will prevent you from mistakenly intruding in her personal space this early. Shes shy and quite sensitive for now you hear? Let her enjoy your company, laugh and smile with her, eat with gusto, chat bout the funny moments before. Be light, funny and outgoing.
The mere fact that she replied to your SMS is a leap forward. and you should be very HAPPY about this fact.
Who knows? She might be holding your arms someday....
2007-08-16 06:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by Snake Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually what i suggest is that you take her bowling or some fun sport that not sooo major competitive. since its a fun game and there's always action and you guys can laugh about stuff or help each other. i really don't think you should go to the movies since its really quiet and she may feel like there's awkward silence.
when you go out for lunch you should keep it simple like ask her what she has been up to lately and just keep on stretching the conversation with questions until you find something in common that you 2 may share and talk about that.
i hope i helped....
2007-08-16 05:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by funnyhoney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST BECASUE SHE HAS NOT REPLIED BACK DO NOT FEEL DISSAPOINTED THIS BE DUE TO A NUMBER OF THINGS, FIRSTLY YOU DONT WANT TO BE ALL IN HER FACE PLEASE KEEP CALM AND COMPOSED.
THE MOVIES IS PROBABLY NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA, AS THE MOVIES IS THE KIND OF PLACE WHERE LOVERS GO TO GET ALL SMOOCHY OR GENERALLY FRIENDS GO - HOWEVER SHE MIGHT NOT GET THE FRIENDSHIP PART.
I USUALLY PREFER LIGHT LUNCH FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE LIKE THE AQUARIUM AND DONT LAUGH THE Z00 - BECAUSE ITS FUN AND NICE.
I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE HER TO YOUR COUNTRIES MOST POPULAR ATTRACTIONS OR MAYBE A BOAT RIDE, IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE EXPENSIVE BUT MAKE IT NICE.
GOOD LUCK - TRUST ME IM A GIRL IT WILL WORK. X
2007-08-16 05:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by COOL LOVING VIRGO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you asked her to lunch, why not just try going to lunch and talking.
While at lunch you talk about the what's been going on during the 3 year gap and currently.
2007-08-16 05:51:20 · answer #5 · answered by riding128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think since you are just reconsiling then you need to chill out and take it slow. Dont rush just go have a quick lunch and leave it at that. Little by little you have to get back to where you were a few months ago!
2007-08-16 05:36:31 · answer #6 · answered by <Carol> 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to confront her face to face and then let her know how serious you are and what you are confused about. It is better to be upfront then wait around for an answer
2007-08-16 05:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by kitty_loves_cuddles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋