pls ans this! its a sensitive question.?

Question

this question is not a joke. i expect a bit repect when you ans.thanks.

when i was very young say 3 year old, mum left me and my dad for some other other guy and married him. now with the grace of god my step mom who was with me since i was 4 yrs old was loving towards me like any other normal mum out there and is my best friend now! now shifting towards my problem-

my bf recently said to me very rudely -" its in your blood to cheat on husband". truth is i never cheated on him. he had been doubting on my friendships with my male friends even though i go out of my house very rarely. i feel hurt very badly and dont know what to ans execpt crying. isnt it a painful thing to hear? is there any truth in is words? should i be treated like this? i dont like justifying my loyality towards him all the time. its been 3 years. he has doubted on me, misunderstood my equation with my male friends,called me b i t c h, desperate girl and w h o r e, refused to hear anything from my mouth.

so many times he confroted me without any proof and everytime he said sorry and not to doubt on me but he does again!

Answer 1

No girl should be called a whore or a *****. He should never say things like that to you. He sounds a bit insecure with himself, and is abusing you because of it. You have every right to have male friends. If he doesn't believe you, you need to leave the situation. It isn't healthy.

Answer 2

I'm going to make a lotta assumptions cuz, 2 b honest, your posting was kinda unclear, but...

This guy is an abusive ******, and i think it's fair to say, this relationship is beyond repair. I would suggest you leave, but do so very carefully, cuz guys like this have a way of going from verbally, to PHYSICALLY abusive.

First, set yourself up w/ a place to stay, ideally a friend or family member that can put you up for a while, but also one that, ideally, he's not familiar w/ (@ least not one where he knows where they live). Make all these arrangements withOUT letting him know. Then make your escape (yes, this is an escape, complete w/ all the implied risks) some time when he's away for @ LEAST several hours. Have friends come get you and help you move wtvr you absolutely need out. I know this sounds overly dramatic, but it's better to be safe than sorry, and there are plenty of women in the hospital that would tell you the same, and more in the ground that would if they could.

Once you're safely out of there, you can write him (or leave a note @ home when you leave) letting him know you're gone, it's over, and to NOT try to find you. I'd also suggest getting a restraining order from the police so he'll know that they know you think he's a threat.

Take this seriously, and good luck to you!!

p.s. his "it's in your blood" theory is a croc - those behaviors are learned, not inherited, and the fact that you had a loving step-mom for most of your life bodes well for your future relationships. Of course, the fact that you hooked up w/ an abusive ****** in the first place IS a big red flag, so you should also look into counseling when you're on your own.

Answer 3

I know your going to hate this truth but here it is. Based on your story your boyfriend is very insensitive and does not understand how painful your moms leaving was. He also does NOT get the fact that it hurts you or else he would stop bringing it up and telling you that you are like your mom, and degrading you as if you were a whore, or a bad person. Sounds like you have a very insecure, jealous, abusive boyfriend and I would not continue the relationship if it keeps making you miserable. Dont let fear of being alone and his manipulation keep you in this situation, there are PLENTY of men who will respect you and will realize that your past, and that of your mothers is PAST and it does not in any way formulate who you are today except for that you experienced it. Who knows, it could even be why some of the beautiful loyal traits have come to the fore. You seem like a very sensitive caring person who deserves more than she is getting. Take Care.-Rachel.

Answer 4

run away from him as fast as you can. he is emotionally and verbally abusing you. this could escalate to physical violence later. get away from this relationship while you still can. he is a bully and not a gentleman. he has low self esteem and he only feels superior by making you feel inferior, how far did he go re. his studies? if he is an educated person, he would know that "infidelity" cannot be passed on genetically like diseases (diabetes, hypertension, etc). your mother left you at an early age and you were raised by a nice step-mom. your values would be different from those of your mom's. another point is, has he always been faithful to you? maybe he isn't that's why he doesn't trust you. maybe if he has been cheating you without your knowledge, he has this feeling that you could also do it behind his back. trust is an important part of any relationship, even just between friends, more so between partners. take my advise, LEAVE HIM NOW and don't look back.

Answer 5

Albert Einstein said that Insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". This guy has shown you his true colors and the chances are great that he will continue in his behaviors and attitudes towards you. Expect better than you are getting. When will enough, be enough for you? Don't be insane. Only you can decide.

Best Wishes on you journey!

Answer 6

You don't deserve to be treated like that. If you want to stay with him ask him why hes doubting your friendships with guys. But in my opinion you should dump him. No girl/woman deserves to be called a b**** or a whore, especially for an illegitimate reason like that. He probably has low self esteem. Confront him and unless he comes up with a really good explanation and actually changes, I think you should end it. You deserve better.

Answer 7

Well, not to disrespect you at all girl, but I'm wondering why you're still with this jerk after **3 years**...!!?????? Of course he's being abusive and disrespectful and inconsiderate of your feelings, but in order for someone to do this THERE MUST BE SOMEONE WHO PUTS UP WITH IT....... and you have taken his crap for a long time already. If you continue by his side, you will continue being treated this way. No, of course you should NEVER be treated like this by ANYONE, because you're not responsible for what your mother or other family members did and because you have not been unfaithful or given him reasons to doubt you. But if you have taken this sh*t for such a long time, just think about this: we all get what we settle for!!!

Answer 8

Why are you with him?
Why do you allow yourself to accept this kind of (mental) abuse?
-You should dump him and I mean fast.
You deserve to feel and be loved.
You are getting a taste of the tip of the ice berg. Can you imagine what kind of husband or father he'd be? That is not good.
(I would have responded to him: (Judging by your remark, you didn't have good upbringing.)
He isn't a good man.
If he accuses you of wrong doing is because he feels insecure and is probably guilty of wrong doing himself.
"My mother use to tell me all the time that if a man is accusing you of wrong doing, it is because he is doing it himself."
All I can say is to get out of that relationship before it gets worse. I will say a prayer for you. -God Bless.

Answer 9

why on earth would you stay in a relationship like that 3 years is a long time wasted. his accusations are on him! he is insecure and blaming you. making you just as insecure about what kind of person you are. you know who you are. don't even go there with him. tell him to take a walk. ***** and whore is not love. apologies only last how long then it goes right back to the bull **** again. why put up with it? you can do much better than that.

Answer 10

i cant possibly tell you to dump him, seeing that you've been with him for 3 years and i can see that its a serious relationship. your boyfriend can be said to be overly-possessive over you, which is the reason why he's acting that way to you. he doesnt realize that his acts are wrong and his character has made him paranoid at the same time, believing that if he falsely accuse you to something, he might get a chance that you'll 'admit' to your mistake. my boyfriend used to be like this, except that he doesnt accuse. the only way to save your relationship is to make him believe that you will leave him if he doesnt start trusting you cuz a relationoship can never work out if there's no trust. best of luck dear, i hope your realtionship will work out to be better and happier than before.