Mom is the guilt trip queen. She guilt trips me about not comign to visit her often, and my plans to move four states away. (1) she always put men before my brother and I (2) no showed at my wedding she says because her new husband instigated a fight with her and convinced her not to go (3) I finally forgave her and am civil and invited her to my husband's military retirement ceremony which also invloves me (sort of a second chance thing to bond) She sent us a gift 4 months before saying in case you couldn't make it... Guess what she made an excuse and didn't. (4) She started a war with her brother's/ sisters built a privacy fence between her house and theirs pissed them off then left the house to rot which was the home I grew up in. (5) expects me to call the home she shacked up in with her husband instead of my wedding my home. I am tired, going to school and working full time. Does she need to pull her head out of her *** or what? They have not once visited us.
2007-08-15 17:03:07 · 4 answers · asked by TennesseeGirl 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Honey.... Just let the drama go.
You don't need it. I have been married for 9 years and my husbands father hasn't visited us but once, and he only lives 30 miles away.
It used to really bother me, but now I don't give a horses behind.
If people want to make a fool of themselves.... I say let em go for it. Sit back , relax, and enjoy the show.
I don't do drama.... If you want to act a fool I don't need you.
2007-08-15 17:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you are worrying about a non-existant relationship for what reason?
You mom seems (your side of the story only) to be a user. She only wants to see/hear from you when SHE needs something. Well, forget it. I know that sounds hard, and it is. I haven't seen my mother in over 7 years because she is the same way. She insults my wife (married 20 years), hasn't come to visit, expects the world to bow to her wishes, and is simply a pain in the butt. I love her, but I love her more when I don't hear from/see her.
2007-08-16 05:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by My world 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in a no-win contest with your mom. So.. don't compete. If you know you'll never please her, be kind, appreciate what ever little thing you can find in her and then let the rest go. Focus on all the good in your life and be thankful. It sound like she's up in years at this point, and she is who she is. Be nice, but strong. The less her guilt trips work and you can deflect them with positive comebacks, the less you mom might use them... maybe. Good luck.
2007-08-16 00:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by Che555 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we need to take a season or 2 away from family that is unhealthily for us.
(I recently had to do this myself so I can understand what you are going through.) Sounds like your mom thrives on attention, even if it happens to be negative... Stop giving her any attention at all.
No one likes to go through these things but perhaps this move is just the thing for you and your new husband. Enjoy your life together, you deserve to be happy.
Blessings on your marriage,
Dutchess
2007-08-16 00:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by CarynB 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋