At what age is it appropriate for me to reveal to my son, if he asks the question as to why mommy and daddy no longer live together, that his mother while we were married cheated on me? He's four now.
I told my ex that if my son would ask the question I wasn't going to withhold the truth from him, but someone has cautioned me against that.
Please be advised that my relationship with my ex is amicable, and I have no hard feelings as a result of what's she did in the past. But history cannot be erased or ignored. Therefore my inclination is to divulge to my son what his mother did. I just know is coming as he is very inquisitive and very intuitive.
I am torn cuz part of me says to go ahead and reveal, but the other part says to refrain. Which side is right.
What would you do?
2007-08-15 17:02:10 · 5 answers · asked by ahe03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you reveal to your son exactly why things went bad, all you will do is prejudice him against his mother. Until he is old enough to understand why these things can happen in a relationship, you are being unfair to everyone involved by telling him.
All he needs to hear is that mom and dad weren't happy being together, and decided they would be better friends if they didn't live in the same house. Make sure he understands that both of you still love him very much, and it has nothing to do with him.
Think very hard before you reveal anything to your son that could be confusing or hurtful. You would be doing no favors for your son by doing that.
2007-08-15 17:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not reveal anything to your son until he asks you. if he asks you before he can really understand what a divorce is, your answer should be that you & your ex did not get along and that you 2 are friends now. If it is when he does understand, do not tell him that she cheated on you. If you do that you are just trying to "turn" him against your ex. Tell him that she meet someone who made her happy, and you did not want to hurt her or your sons feelings.
2007-08-16 00:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by buddyj68 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can explain it in another way without lying and also without being so specific. Just tell him you and his mother made the mistake of getting married before you really knew one another and that after you got married you both realized you were not right for each other. It would also be a good lesson for him to take his time in choosing a wife someday.
I dont see why you have to tell him about her transgressions.
2007-08-16 00:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
History can not be erased, but is can be ignored. Are you so angry at your son's Mother that you want to lower his opinion of her?
2007-08-21 18:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don' think that children need to be adult business.
2007-08-21 22:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by Ann f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋