Mom is the guilt trip queen. She guilt trips me about not comign to visit her often, and my plans to move four states away. (1) she always put men before my brother and I (2) no showed at my wedding she says because her new husband instigated a fight with her and convinced her not to go (3) I finally forgave her and am civil and invited her to my husband's military retirement ceremony which also invloves me (sort of a second chance thing to bond) She sent us a gift 4 months before saying in case you couldn't make it... Guess what she made an excuse and didn't. (4) She started a war with her brother's/ sisters built a privacy fence between her house and theirs pissed them off then left the house to rot which was the home I grew up in. (5) expects me to call the home she shacked up in with her husband instead of my wedding my home. I am tired, going to school and working full time. Does she need to pull her head out of her *** or what? They have not once visited us.
2007-08-15 16:45:30 · 5 answers · asked by TennesseeGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh my G-d are you my sister? Seriously though, if your mother is this bad, then you have to stop seeing her as your mother and start seeing her as just some woman you know. I know that sounds harsh, but think about it...would you allow this behavior if it came from your best friend? No, of course not, because people who really care about you wouldn't do that. And if its unforgivable when it's your best friend, its certainly unacceptable from your mother. Start learning to detact yourself from the need to please her...you'll never be able to do it, and as long as you WANT to TRY, she can put the thumbscrews to you.
Mother problems are always really hard, and I suggest if you find it difficult to detach from her, you seek some therapy.
2007-08-15 17:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With out going into it, I will say I know what you are going through. I found that no matter what you do sometimes you just can't change her. So just get on with your life invite your to your things but don't get upset if she doesn't show and most of all don't let her play the guilt game and win. Right now your husband comes first. And by what you say you have tried. So If she wants a relationship then it is up to her. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It took me years to get over the guilt game but I did.
2007-08-15 17:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by jenx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm precisely the comparable. different than i'm particularly narrow, 165cms and 60 pounds (form of.) My daughter is merely 4.5 months previous and that i've got constantly had to start up swimming classes together with her whilst she replaced into nevertheless youthful. in spite of the undeniable fact that - i'm thank you to embarrassed to get in to bathers in public and characteristic different moms see my stretchmarks, flab and wrinkly epidermis. i've got merely desperate to weigh it up - how badly do i elect to take my daughter to swimming classes? i think of it's going to be an remarkable adventure for her, so whilst she is sufficiently previous, i will swallow my satisfaction, purchase a one piece and board shorts and bounce get interior the pool together with her. I merely think of to myself, howdy, those different moms won't have ideal bodies the two, they are going to probable be merely as self awake as me, and IF a number of them do have large bodies and self belief - properly good for them! i'm specific they have greater important issues on their suggestions than to fret approximately how i glance in a swim wholesome. you're no longer selfish in any respect, you're self awake, it somewhat is thoroughly comprehensible - i think of pretty much all moms are. Congratulations on your pleasing daughter and robust good fortune! Please save me published - i might like to hearken to no remember if or no longer you do start up the learning!
2016-12-30 15:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are her and my mother sisters?sound just alike and i have learned to just let what she says and does slide off me.its just her personality.i know its hard to ignore her but do it,talking to her wont help,tried that to so ive discovered ignore her,give evasive answers and next time she says come see her remind her road goes both ways and your in school and tired.by the way,im 44 and still trying to deal with mine so trust me it dont change
2007-08-15 17:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by mamanana9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling her any of your plans and do whatever you want. You already know how she's going to react. Why go back for more of that?
2007-08-15 16:56:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋