Question Details: The girlfriend is walking down the street with her boyfriend, and her hard, leather handbag hits a woman (who is crouched down on the sidewalk, admiring a little poodle) in the side. The girlfriend doesn't apologize and just walks on with her boyfriend, but overhears the woman swearing quietly at her. The girlfriend rolls her eyes and speaks bad of the woman to her boyfriend.
Boyfriend says: You should have apologized
Girl friend says: Why? It's her fault anyways. She was crouched down in the middle of the sidewalk. So it's her fault. Why should I have apologized?
In this situation, how could the boyfriend persuade the girlfriend into realizing and accepting the fact that she should have apologized without actually pissing his girlfriend off and making her feel bad?
Ten points to the best answer!!!
2007-08-15 16:19:37 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Tell her during sex right before orgasm.
2007-08-15 16:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by Liquid Spear Waltz 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The boyfriend should be very respectful, and not too serious, and try to make it short. (The longer you lecture someone, the more likely it is that they will flip.) He should point out that the woman did nothing wrong, but that his girlfriend didn't really do anything wrong either, only it's nice to apologize for bumping into someone, even if it isn't your fault. It shows that you didn't do it on purpose and that you didn't mean to bother them. Then he should say that the woman probably only swore at her because she thought she was being purposefully rude, and she was probably having a bad day anyway. That way, the girlfriend will get the whole apology lesson without feeling like she's on trial.
2007-08-15 16:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by zoemstof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When driving in a car, the moving vehicle is always cited for the fault, even if the stationary vehicle was in an inapropriate place or hard to see. The same holds true for pedestrians. Therefore, the fault lies with the girlfriend who is the one who was moving.
In addition, she hit an elderly lady. Common courtesy suggests apologizing, even if she wasn’t even close to being in the wrong. Asking the lady if she was hurt and making sure she is okay is just the right thing to do.
If you say this to your girlfriend you may make her angry, as she seems pretty self centered, but it is worth it. She needs a dose of realism to help her see that the sun does not revolve around her.
~Kyanna
Edit: If you feel comfortable, have her read the answers people posted. That way, she can see what public opinion is of her behavior without it being said by you.
2007-08-15 16:32:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kyanna S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a really simple answer to this. If you are driving a car or bicycle and hit a parked car, which is as fault? The moving vehicle, or person, in this case ALWAYS. No exceptions ALWAYS the moving vehicle is at fault when hitting a parked vehicle, as long as you have time to stop (not a blind corner, etc.).
How does a male get a female to change her mind and apologize without getting pissed? Probably cannot be done. This lady sounds so arrogant and self absorbed that she'd argue with God himself. Now, since you are still just a bf and not married to this shecreature, I'd suggest that you RUN, don't walk, to the nearest exit. She is trouble now, she will be more trouble later.
You sound like a decent guy with good judgment and moral ethics. You deserve far better.
2007-08-15 16:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's an amazing bit of logic that the girlfriend is using.
Other than pointing out her incredible lack of respect for others (I bet she demands respect from others though...just a hunch) I would use her own logic against her.
Ask her if someone is hit by a car who's fault is it, the pedestrian or the car...using her logic the pedestrian shouldn't have been in the way of the car.
Start doing little things to her and when she complains tell her it's her fault for being where she was and doing what she was doing.
I love people like the girlfriend described in your question, I can amuse myself by torturing them and then using their logic to avoid blame for hours.
Oh, and from the sound of your question there will be no way to do this without pissing her off because she seems to have an ego the size of a moon. And, as for her not feeling bad, who cares, maybe that's what she needs to get over herself, and she will feel better again soon I'm sure.
2007-08-15 16:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's lovely to want to correct her behavior without hurting her feelings, however in this situation being blunt and honest could be very effective. She was rude, thoughtless and insensitive among other things. That being said, you could point out to her that Excuse Me might be an alternative to an apology since that would neither accept or deny fault in the situation but would acknowledge both that the woman was in the way and that the girlfriend's handbag hit her in the side which was unintentional.
2007-08-15 16:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In polite society, if we do something to hurt someone else, whether intentional or not, we say we are sorry. Saying you are sorry is not the same thing as admitting guilt, it is just an expression that you wish the pain/inconvience hadn't happened. This girlfriend was a real clod. What kind of person just walks by someone that she bumps into, and then talks bad about the person as well?
2007-08-16 19:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she just created two enemies. Bad for her and the swearing woman. Ask her to be the better person and undo the hostility with a simple " Im sorry ".
2007-08-15 16:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her again that you think she should have said she is sorry even if she isn't, just to be polite. If she starts to argue then say "What would you have done if you hit ME in the side with your handbag?"
If she says she wouldn't say sorry even to you, then she's got a problem.
2007-08-15 16:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is called courtesy. you already know, being civil in direction of strangers. if the lady insists on wearing an unmanageable sack of rocks she might desire to be gracious while it assaults an harmless bystander. however the main important factor is while undesirable stuff happens this is not straight away some one else's fault. (does she continually blame others for her misfortune?)
2016-12-13 08:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its gf's fault, she should be more empathetic. what if that were her crouched down...do you think she would want an apology?
i would just ask her bluntly if she would expect an apology if tables were turned. i highly doubt this will be your best answer, but it is what i would do
2007-08-15 16:26:03 · answer #11 · answered by sumgirlIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋