Whats more important, joining the army or raising your child?

Question

Seriously, i find people with kids joining the army and leaving their kids for long periods of time. (or worst leaving behind a pregnant spouse) Isnt there a greater responsibility in raising your own kids, than fighting in war? Why not let the single, childless men and women do the fighting. I say, kids come first, they are the biggest responsibility on earth. But why do so many people leave their kids behind? Why risk the fact that those kids may lose their parents? Whats the reasoning behind these parents decisions?

army wifey:
my issue is the "kids" under 18, they need parents there as they grow up. The childless men and women are already grown, they dont need their parents' attention or care.

parents ARE more important, they are RESPONSIBLE for a human being. whats the point of being a parent if their not going to raise and care for their child.

Answer 1

My husband is a recruiter, in an area where there aren't a whole lot of opportunities. He gets a lot of people who either have that first child or are expecting it, and realize that they need a way to support the child. The military is good for that. They have great benefits, the option of base housing, health insurance, etc., plus a paycheck that is steady, even if it's not that big.
Before he got recruiting duty, my husband was sent to Iraq when my son was nine months old. He didn't want to leave him behind - in fact, that's one of only two times I've ever seen him cry. But he did. Not because he just wants to be in the military for fun, but because someone has to do it. Someone has to keep this country safe for our child. And while serving in Iraq may or may not do that, (depending on your stance on the war) the time will come when he is needed for something that absolutely has to be done to maintain our way of life. And he will be there to do that. That's why he joined the Marines to start with, and it's twice as important now that he has his own two children to think about. We all make sacrifices four our children - but the sacrifices of military members are among the largest.

Answer 2

In a lot of ways parents go into the military to support their family. In a lot of places military is the only way to get insurance, a stable income, or even a job in the first place for having a low education level. Enlisting also gives them a chance to go to school and get some training and further their education.

As you can see I am all for the fact that is someone with kids wants to join let them. That might be the bet they can do TO support their family.

And in the long run, no matter what, with the situation we are in, if people thought like that we would have to go through a draft and numerous men and women would be "called up" to serve their country no matter their family status.

I think that the idea of NO KIDS=ENLIST and FAMILY=DON'T ENLIST, is the biggest crock out there. Families are screwed no matter how you look at it.

Answer 3

As a military spouse I have this to say. There is a difference between their duty and their love of their family. My husband loves me and his children, don't ever question that. And while yes it is hard to be without him, look at what it's teaching our children. Duty, honor, responsibility, and pride. There is no reasoning. You can't expect people to put their lives on hold for 8 years and never marry or raise a family. It was hard on my husband when he was deployed and I miscarried, and when he missed birthdays, and holidays. But you are saying that things have to be one way or the other. Not everything is black or white. There is a gray area. And military families learn to adapt.
Yes, kids need parents. And if anything happened to both of us (I am not in the military) we have things arranged so our children won't be in foster care.
Everything you do carries a risk. You might walk outside and get hit by a car and not come home, you might be on a daily drive home and have a bridge collapse, or have a heart attack and all will leave a child wihtout a parent. Life is about taking risks, and not living in fear of what might happen. Yeah, my husband could have died...but you know what...so can I tomorrow.

Answer 4

Some people simply hear the call to serve clearer then others. Raising a child is important undoubtably. However part of a parenting instinct is protecting the child. It could easily be argued that creating a safer future for there child is a preemptive measure to protecting there child and giving them a safer future to live in. It is all about what they feel in there heart. If they believe that it will greatly benefit there child they will do it and with a smile on there face. They are not abandoning there childeren as you may think they are working to improve the future for there child. Perhaps if enough single people stepped up to the plate less parents would feel compelled to.
This is more a discussion question and less a question. I could debate a point like this for hours.

Answer 5

Depends on what you believe and why you do what you do. Some feel that in today's world they cannot afford to go to college and military service will provide it. Some feel they are going to ensure the world their child grows up in is a safe one and that by providing a service to the country they will serve their families. Some feel it would be irresponsible to leave their children in the care of others...then go to work 40+ hours a week- or let the schools raise their children- or over-protect their children...

It's easy to say let the single childless men and women do the fighting, but what you are really saying is that you value the lives of parents more than the single.

It's a volunteer military.

You should thank them for choosing to serve rather than sit idly by asking the same question that is on a good number of minds today "What do we do..." because they are doing something.

Should we be attacked and a parent dies they are no less dead in the service than out- but at least in the service they may have the opportunity to fight rather than be victimized having never seen it coming.

As vilified as this administration and this war has been, I feel any who choose to serve in this time should be thanked twice: Once for choosing to serve our country and the second for choosing to serve despite our country.

Answer 6

so you are saying that no one in the military should have kids or if they have them they should get out. What if someone decides to stay in and do 20 years, does that mean he or she shouldnt have children until they are at least 39 or 40 years old?

Many people join the military because of their children. It is a way to support them, to get them maybe off of the welfare sysytem and give them something better than what they have now.

My husband puts me and our children first in almost every situation. You can lose your life just by walking outside or taking a plane trip. You don't just die in wars.

My children are proud of their dad and of course with him being deployed there are days that they cry and wish he were here. But the military has also given our children something other kids and adults will never experience. My children have seen many states. And they have seen 15 other countries (Germany, France, Italy, Sweden, Switzerland, Ireland, and others) besides the United States. They have been places that other people only dream of going.

Yes there is a bad side to the military but there is also a good side. Our children have medical, dental, and they learn to adapt easier to change and some other things.

I am proud to be a military wife and my children like being military brats.

Answer 7

i had this issue too in desert storm. people would not go to saudia and iraq becouse they had kids. i told them then as i say now if you cant do the job get out. i had no kids at that point. in 1992 i had a child. my ets date was early 93. i got out on the ets. i could have never givin up custody of my child to go fight a war. my child was and always has been my life. our worlds future (all children are our worlds future). i did as i preached. i got out. if i would have never had a child i would have stayed in. i think alot of mommies and daddies stay in the military becouse of the fear of change and the knowlege of 3 hots and a cot is pretty important if you come from some of the backgrounds that most of the military do. yea, i was scared back then single parent, newborn, hardly no familty support and everyone saying i would be on welfare. well no welfare for me baby and now my end of year take home is usually near or a little over 75,000. not bad for a single parent with only a high school deploma.

Answer 8

What about the corporate world where moms and dad work 60-80 hours a week and a nanny raises their children? Maybe there is no risk of mom or dad being killed on the job, but the kids never see them anyway! Is that any better? My brother in law and his wife are a perfect example... they leave for work at 6 am, are never home before 6 pm, and he usually has to go in on weekends. Plus add in business trips.

Hey, Emergency Rooms are dangerous places... only docs and nurses with no kids. And I know of teachers who have been beaten and stabbed by students... only teachers with no kids.

Our husbands/wives joined the military because they felt it was the right place for them. They serve their country with very little thanks. And we sacrifice a lot for them to do their jobs. But my girls have a daddy they can be proud of. One who will try to make it to all of the important school and scouting events, even if it means he has to go back in after they go to bed! And, yes, he does get put in harms way. I did to everytime I drove to my teaching job in the inner city, where we had metal detectors!

Answer 9

ill tell you what, you pay for the kid's wellbeing, their medical expenses, their college, and even spring for the, every so often, faddish thing, then i will be willing to bet that those soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines will jump at your offer, but, as it stands that is not the case. People joined to military because they have no skill or education to get a different job. People don't say send me to a war zone by choice, they do it out of necissity. As it stands every enlisted person is paid below the poverty level. Since there are so many personnel on government programs in the military, even the smallest base has a WIC/ food stamp/ Welfare office. I'll make a deal with you, you don't tell others how to raise their children and they won't point out your many mistakes.
Just because someone is single or childless does not mean that someone is not waiting at home for them or depending on their support. The people you should be worried about are those with families who are not willing to risk their life or sacrifice their time to ensure that the people they made to depend on them are taken care of.
In the future, please, mind your own buisness.

Answer 10

I don't mean to be unkind or rude, but might I point out the flaw in logic here? The single men and women may be there too, and then again, may have careers that pay well enough that they don't join. While what you are trying to say is admirable, it doesn't take into account that some military personel are enlisted before they get married. It's just too broad a statement.