My 72 year old father still works half time at his restaurant as head chef. He is a very kind and gentle man. He is very kind to the grandkids. I am worried about him because he is old, and I don't want anything bad to happen to him..... He can still talk and walk and taste, touch, see, etc. The bad part is he smokes and drinks a lot. When should I start seeing signs that let me know that ....death is near? And when should he retire? And how should I get over it? How did you get over it? How will it affect everyone? How did it affect everyone for you? I am sick of thinking about his death, how should I get it out of my mind? How did you? Thanks
2007-08-15 13:33:20 · 12 answers · asked by Nick B. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why are you worried about it? First off, 72 is not that old. You act like it's 100 or something. And he seems to be healthy and vital. It sounds like he is a wonderful and productive man and you should enjoy him, not have a death watch.
2007-08-15 14:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Death is unavoidable. The guy is 72. The smoking and drinking are not going to add years but take away. If he were to retire death might come faster. Do to boredom. It sounds as if he's doing fine. Once he starts having problems. Like having to go to the hospital to stay even for a few days. That's time to retire. Cope we all cope differently. He sounds like he has been a good father and grand father. Spend time with him from time to time. That is what I tell my husband. His father is 80. As his child you be there for him when you can. When the day comes that he is no longer here. You feel sad but don't dwell on it. It is a part of life. That we all must go through. Be it young or old. Just be thankful that he has had a long life. Long enough to raise his children. I worry about not being here one day. I have a child who still depends on me. And that something may happen to me. And I not be here for her is a concern of mine. In your case you worry about losing a father that you love. Most of us have these kinds of worries. Just make the best of the time he is here. That is what I try to do with my daughter.
2007-08-15 20:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he can no longer function in the restaurant, forget things, slips and falls, etc. then it is time to be more concerned. First talk to him about his drinking, and if he could at least slow down on it, and drink a little less. He might agree to do that, but.... At 72, it is unlikely he will change his smoking habit. See if he qualifies for a provider to help him with certain things around his home, that might help your worrying.
2007-08-15 20:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by WE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to hasten death, take him away from the things he dearly loves and hover over him like he's a child. All men like to work and care for their families so if he hasn't fallen, don't bother him. 72 is not that old. My grandparents lived into their late 90s and worked all their lives. I became a caretaker for a woman who was 92 and as spry as all get out until she fell and then it was quickly downhill because she realized she couldn't do things anymore. Let him enjoy all the time he has left and enjoy it with him.
Have you considered the fact that he could outlive you, if you don't take care of yourself and drive carefully? Death is part of living--we all die. Don't dwell on it.
2007-08-15 20:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't prepare mentally for the death of a loved one, when they are showing no signs or symptoms. His age is not enough to be concerned over at the time being!
I have a 92 yo grandmother who is stubborn as all h***, and STILL works the farm.
And some people truly enjoy working. Sounds like he's one of em, so let him be, as long as he is able.
The best advice I can give you is to spend as much time with him as possible. :) I know it's hard not to worry, and you always WILL worry, but there's no point in running yourself ragged.
Good luck hon!
2007-08-15 20:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by belle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel.My dad will 70 in a couple of weeks.He has had some heart trouble the last couple of years.But you have to realize they may be getting older in body but not in heart,soul and mind.It is better for him to be active than just sitting around.As long as his health will let him he needs to do as he wants to.Don't baby or coddle him.That just makes them feel old.When a person feels old they act old and they sometimes just give up on life.Just let your dad live his life.Give him all the love and support that you can.Try not to worry about him as hard as that may be and don't let your dad know you are worrying about him.That will make him feel old also. Love and enjoy your father while you have the time.
2007-08-15 20:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Teresa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my grandfather still works too and he is around that age. If he is in REALLY bad shape and struggles to do his job, then tell him that it is best to take a rest and not do a job. But if this is all his life is put around, let him keep the job, like my grandfather.But you definitly have to talk to him about the smoking and drinking. If he keeps that up he will defnitly get really sick and die. So you have to talk to him about that and how dangerous it is. And if that doesnt work, since quiting is really hard, you have to get someone to help him. If you really care about him (wich you do) go find someone and help save him!
Hope that helps
2007-08-15 20:45:39 · answer #7 · answered by EM 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
80 years old seems to be the big slide down the back side of the hill. He still has some good years left. Nothing you can do about his bad health habits, and it is not your problem. If he gave a crap about himself he would not smoke or drink. Fact is, lots of men retire and fall over soon after wards. I think work keeps them going.
2007-08-15 20:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my father in law died a week ago, he drank smoked had a hard life but we knew it was coming, maybe not as quick but we knew, l say let him live his life, old people are not stupid and they arent babies we all have to just deal with it the best we can when it happens, he could live another 20 years or so, my grandparents are in their 80s and still havent slowed down so dont sweat it and enjoy the time you have with him
2007-08-15 20:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by t.s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To get it out of your head, you shouldn't sit and think about the day he dies, but instead try and enjoy the time with him that he has left.
We all die, it is going to happen, but why waste time worrying about it...
2007-08-15 20:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Injun 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋