When You Don't Get RSVP's From Your Invitations?

Question

do you assume the people aren't coming and not allow for food and beverages for them?

This isn't a wedding but it's a sit-down dinner.

Answer 1

Yes, that is exactly what I do. If these lazy and ill mannered folks do, by some odd chance, show up on the evening in question, act very surprised, almost stupified saying, "My, you came. I certainly did not expect you because you never RSVP'd...I really an unprepared for two (or however many) more at the table. I'm sorry. Let's do it another time."

Answer 2

Oh, I know how MUCH this really bothers Miss Manners!!! In fact, she doesn't even like the Rsvp cards people use, because a "proper" lady or gentleman will promptly sit down with their own personalized stationary and reply to the invitation in their own handwriting.

But Miss Manners is also a realist and knows that no matter how "easy" you attempt to make an Rsvp, people will not do so. Your only alternative is to phone them and ask them personally if they will attend... unless you wish to take their silence as a "NO," invite others to take their place at the table, and then when they show up at the door tell them, "OMG! I'm SO sorry, but when you didn't reply to my invitation, I went ahead and invited someone else instead... Maybe you can make my next dinner party? Have a nice evening!" ... close the door behind them, and never see them again in theirs or your lives.

The choice is yours. Have a great day!

Answer 3

AH one of my favorite questions on this site. A week before you need the count for the caterer, call each one of them. Ask if they received the invitation just in case the .000001 percent chance they didnt. Anyway of course they did. Then you ask ' Will we have the honor of your presence?' To which they usually say' Well Im not sure because Thats the day I have to shampoo my hair or some equally crazy reason such as their aunt is coming to town' To which you reply ' OH THEN I WILL TAKE THAT AS A NO since I need to give the caterer the count. We will have to get together some time after the wedding and show you our photographs! '( and then dont) It is so very rude of people to wait it out seeing if they get a better offer. I always reply within 48 hours of receiving the invitation . And if I am not sure, then I decline.

Answer 4

There is always someone that thinks that the rules don't apply to them. I would have a little extra in case someone shows up that didn't RSVP.

I know that's why you asked for an RSVP, but there are very rude or ignorant people out there.

Answer 5

Just to be on the safe side I like to call the people that havnt RSVP'd to ensure that they simply haven't forgotten to. This way you will be 100% sure... Some people will just assume you know they are coming and others are too rude to care! :)

Answer 6

It would be extremel.y rude to show up if you haven;t returned a call to confirm. I'd assume they are not coming but always allow room for 1 unexpected guest.

Answer 7

Yes, assume they are not coming because that is what they want you to assume by not RSVP-ing.

Answer 8

However many you invited, cut it in half. Cook for that amount of people. For anyone that shows outside of that..let them know they really needed to let you know they were coming..you did what you could.

Answer 9

try calling them to find out but if you don't talk to them directly and get like an answering machine or they don't pick up leave a message if you can and then if they don't get back to you it's their fault so then don't expect them to come ...

Answer 10

Always plan for a few more than you get RSVPs for.