Learning disability?

Question

My son was 4 on the 14th August and i have just been told he has a learning disability which i was awear of myself but i did not realise how bad it was now i have been told not to tell him off when he does anything as he is unaware of what he is doing and he would not understand what i was telling him off for but i have 5 other children one aged 7 one aged 6 two aged 5 and a 16month old what do i do when he hits or takes things of the other kids what do i do with him and what do i tell my other kids with them being so young it is very difficult.

Please Help

Answer 1

My son who is 6 has speech and learning difficulties. Although he is 6 he has the mental age of 4. When my child gets out of hand I discipline him by using various techniques. The most successful being the naughty step.....he may get up but I put him back. Through repetition he leans what he has to do. Afterwards my husband and I talk to him so he understands why he had to sit on the naughty step. As for your other kids simply explain he needs extra time to learn. What words you use depends on the disability, my son is also epileptic and he says his brain is broken it sounds horrible but he understands this. Also simplify instructions your child my feel overwhelmed if they receive too much information IE Go and get your coat and put it on...........Put coat on. Don't beat yourself up about things it all takes time, try and find out if you have a support group in your area who you can talk to even if you can go for a tea while your child is being cared for this was my lifeline I felt it much easier to cope knowing I wasn't the only one.

Take care x

Answer 2

Hmm, thats a difficult one.
Did you not tell this to the specialist who confirmed that your son had the learning disability?.
Maybe you should speak again with this person and they would give you the best advice on this, because there's no use taking advice from people on here that are not qualifed.
Personally, I have worked with many people with learning disabilities but not in a proper home setting and I'd prefer that you sought professional advice, as you don't really want any advice to be having an adverse effect on your other children.
Good luck and try to persevere for now.

Answer 3

I think you will need to be more specific regarding how you learned of your son's disability (who told you) and what the disability is. Many children with disabilities require different forms of discipline. You do have to discipline your child. However, you must discipline appropriately according to his disability and his ability to understand his actions and the consequences. What is appropriate for him depends completely on what problems he has. You REALLY need to seek professional help to get him the best care possible. Early intervention with childhood learning disabilities is the key to helping your child cope with the problem and thrive. There are many ways to get help. Start with your pediatrician. Ask the Dr to recommend a child psychologist/psychiatrist to help you deal with this problem. If you cannot afford this type of care (as many can't if not covered by insurance), try a state agency in your state. I don't know where you live, so I cannot give you a good contact. However, I did find a website that you can search for government agencies in your state that can help you. Many states provide "Mental Health Services" for free for qualified individuals with disabilities. Try this link and see if you can find some government agencies that can provide you additional help:

http://www.nichcy.org/states.htm

Just be patient with your child and encourage your older children to be patient too. Living with a child with disabilities can be trying both for the parents & the siblings. God bless & good luck to you!

Answer 4

I dont agree with the person who told you that,all children need to know there boundaries & what is & isnt acceptable behaviour.What you will have to do is be a hundred times more patient with him,dont shout at him,try to gently tell him & show him what you mean with actions if he does'nt understand your words.Also sit your other children down & have a talk with them about him & ask them to help you & him because they may start to resent the extra time you spend with him.I hope you have been offered a place in a special school.Social services should be able to help you with this & your Dr if you havent done so already.Children with learning disabilities need order & regular routine to help them feel secure in their daily life.I do hope you have good support from your husband & extended family as it seems you need all the help you can get with some of your other children being so young.Try to get alittle 'ME' time whenever its possible as this will help you stay strong.I do wish you all the very best for the future because there will be plenty of trying times ahead no doubt.Accept any sensible help that you are offered,dont try to do it all by your self.Good luck to you & your family.

Answer 5

What do you mean "tell him off"? When a child does something inapropriate, you take him/her aside and tell them that what you did was not the correct thing to do. You don`t tell him off.
You then put the child into a time out chair for 2 minutes.
You then tell him that he can resume playing, but cannot hit or do the inapropriate behavior anymore or it is back into the timeout chair.
The only way for a child to learn is by teaching the correct way to act.
If the child is upset. Teach the child how to talk and tell you (the parent) what is wrong and then you can talk and tell the child how you think the situation should be handled.
Yes it is the parent`s responsibility to teach the child (or in your case, children) that there is a correct way to behave and each action has a consequence.
Doing so in a loving manner will make the child want to be better and learn the correct way to act.
It will take time, but time well spent.

Answer 6

Who gave you this advice? Maybe you could ask for a second opinion. Look out for support groups or forums on the web relating to your son's condition - there may be someone on there who can help, or who has a similar situation (hopefuly someone on YA will be able to too). I agree with you that it will be very difficult to rationalise this 'leniency' with your other children and this may cause friction. Without knowing the disability your son has or his learning needs it is hard give more detailed advice. Sorry. I think other mums will be in your position too though - seek them out and they'll be able to help. Specialists will also be able to explain your son's needs and hopefully help to find a solution. Good luck.

Answer 7

Of course you have to discipline him when he does something wrong. It's the only way he'll learn. You have to find an appropriate way of telling him off, so that he understands. If he has been diagnosed as autistic, for instance, then a very clear 'no, that's not allowed' is better than a lengthy and wordy explanation.
Removing him from the situation to a room where he can remain safe but contained is important so that the other children don't get hurt or begin to fear him.

Answer 8

A learning disability means the child has trouble learning reading, writing, etc. But it does not mean the child cannot/will not learn. When he hits other kids, he needs to be disciplined as does any child. A 4 year old can understand that it is not acceptable to hurt others, whether he has a learning disability or not. If you do not instill this boy with a sense of personal responsibility now, LD or not, you are setting him and yourself up for serious problems with behavior.

Answer 9

hi i was told that my son had a learning disability when he was two year's old he is now 18, what i was told to do is
1.go down to his level and look into his eye's and tell him that what he has done is naughty.
2.remove him from his sibling's and place him some where that he is safe but on his own (make sure you can keep eye contact with him)
there are people out there to help you i know that social service's sound bad but believe me they was great in helping me good luck x

Answer 10

hi- my daughter whos now 8 was diagnosed with her LD at a very young age. At first it was actually misdiagnosed as MMR-mildly mentally retarded. At any rate discipline was an issue. what worked for us was not age appropriate but comprehension appropriate. Usually iot was things that normally work for someone younger than her, time out, taking toys away etc. I know there are lots of support groups out there and they will have more ideas than me. Best of luck!