i left hom when i was 15 to live at my moms house because my dad couldn't support me and. he told me that i was nothing comparmed to my mom and brother. sure i wanst alwaysthe goody girl, and i was a cheerleader. but now when i went back to wish my brother a happy birthday my dad told me that he was going to call the cops. i dropped the gift and ran. that was the first time ever that i was scared of my dad. i called my brother later that nite and my dad anwsered. i asked for derek, but he said nopthing. he juist hang uup. it is not my fault that i moved out. and now mom is calling him and complaining and he says that he never did that. help!
no rude anwsers please
2007-08-15 08:18:38 · 32 answers · asked by elizabeth13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get your mom on one end of the phone while you call your dad and ask him about it. Or if it is just a cell phone, put it on speaker and let her listen in. This will prove that you were not lieing about it. I would also either try to talk to him or send him a letter in the mail to tell him how bad of a father he is being by treating you this way. Sure, you may have been spoiled and/or selfish at times, but that is part of being a kid. It is not your fault that you had to move out if he could not support you. If he blames you for it, then he needs to seek help to realize his mistakes that he has made and how important his children should be to him. You never know, one day, you may be the only one he has left. He will live to regret it....if you have to, stay away from him and let him do so. However, try to speak to your brother as often as you can. You two should communicate often, and your dad should be mature enough to let you do so.
2007-08-15 08:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I won't be rude, but I will try to give you some clear answers!
First of all when you stated you weren't a goodie girl,leads me to believe you made a few bad choices in your life when you were living with your Dad! And maybe one's that brought shame to your Dad and he can't forgive you for them, and at the same time angered him so!
Now the anger he's showing you, is actually because you hurt him so bad by your actions in the past and the fact you left his home for your mothers home! that right there would tear out any Fathers heart! Now I don't know all the problems you and your Dad had living toegther, But I was shocked to even here your story!
When your parents split up, you went to live with your Dad, and Not your Mom, and it seems there was a problem between you and your mother! But yet you moved in with her!
And that may have triggered a very bad feeling with your Dad , moving away from him to your Mom's
But To Help you to resolve the anger your Dad is feeling and showing you now, You will have to accept for a while and hope that he'll cool down and try to mend fences with you! But it will take both sides to do so! It seems the best way is to let time help heal the bad situation. You both seems to need time away from each other until things cool down!
The best thing you could do right now is to stop your Mother from calling your father and feuding with him, Let time work it's course first! If you want to explain detailed reasons and things to your Dad, Write him a letter or maybe your Dad's MOM (your Grandmother) Gramma's are known to help problems like this too! But don't fly off the handle anymore with your Dad, at least work on getting a talking relationship back in order before anything else!
From the way you ask the question and listed things and was honest about it, I would say there's still hope to mend fences with your Dad, But it will take time! and You must give it time!
Now to be honest, this is between you and your Dad! Not your Mom and Dad! You must get your Mom to stay out of the problems you and your Dad need to repair! With your Mom being in the middle of it will just make it that much worse!
2007-08-15 08:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, where to begin. I could say get into family therapy, but the people who need to change won’t go. Your Dad maybe transferring anger onto you, why because he can. There is an old saying that states “you always hurt the one’s you love”. A truer statement is “you always hurt the one’s who love you”. There is no easy button here. Try writing your dad a letter. Write about what you feel you did wrong, and your wish for a better relationship and your love for him and your bother. Do not accuse him or talk about what he did wrong, you’ll just push him away. But at the same time examine from a neutral third party position what he is doing. You see children learn what they live, and then live what the learned. And if you can learn what not to do from this, your children won’t either. If you need to talk to some one get in touch with a church (most won’t try to convert you) or a school counselor.
I wish you the best.
2007-08-15 08:50:00 · answer #3 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to talk to your mom. You should have let your dad call the cops. You are underage and should have somewhere to stay. You won't get in trouble for being there fror your brother's Birthday and unless you have something to hide the cops won't do anything to you. Talk to your family!!
2007-08-15 08:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by sd_mex_chic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your Mom that she needs to take him to court for child support and ask for custody of your brother. It is not a healthy environment when children are afraid of parents. If you feel threatened by your father you need to tell an adult (Teacher, Doctor, School Counsellor, Cop etc..)
2007-08-15 08:27:04 · answer #5 · answered by B. D Mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your dad is willing to call the cops on his own daughter then it is his fault not yours. If he is treating you this way then maybe it is time that you just forget about him and move on. Maybe this is his way of saying that he loves you, dads can be weird. I hope this helps.
2007-08-15 08:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by pop89eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad is hurt and is taking it out on you instead of himself. I would not worry about Mom as I am sure she knows you are telling the truth and I would find a way to get in touch with my brother, maybe Internet and find a way to communicate until Pops gets over it
2007-08-15 08:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops why? Were you trespassing? Were you invited over for a party?
Need more info to make an assessment of the situation
2007-08-15 08:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you & your Mom can speak to social services in your town and see if they can help. You should be able to visit your brother. I don;t see any reason your Dad could give the cops that would stop you. Maybe get your Mom to go with you and wait outside while you talk to your bro.
Good Luck.
2007-08-15 08:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by JeffyB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
oh man that sucks im really sorry. i would try to communicate with your dad but DEFINETLY have someone with you, you do not want to get hurt. just figure it out perhaps with someone legal, either a friend that knows legal stuff, or get a lawyer/attourney. you have the right to talk to your brother, unless there is a restraining order or soemthing. let your dad know that, try to break out the tears with him and explain to him that you don't hate him, just want a functional family. good luck i will keep ya in my prayers.
^.^
2007-08-15 08:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋