should I ask him to return my jewelry?

Question

A week ago my boyfriend broke up with me suddenly, and he did it over the phone, even though I begged him to come say it to my face and allow me to say goodbye to him (closure). Then I mentioned he still had one of my navel rings in his possession, and I still had a book of his. He said he'd drop the ring off Sunday, but did not. I would like it back, but don't know how to go about contacting him...I'm pretty sure he won't answer his phone. Should I send him a text? Forget it? Write him a letter? Ask his best friend, who I still have contact with? My big question is, should I give it more time before attempting to contact him at all....? Advice appreciated.

I really don't want to see him...so this is def. not an excuse to see him, though I have to be honest and say it would be nice to tell him to his face what a coward he is for doing it over the phone. I mainly just want my navel ring back because those suckers aren't cheap, I'm in college, and it was one of my favorites.

He broke up with me because he thought I was fooling around with his best friend, and he couldn't handle the fact that guys hit on me on all the time. I.e., he's extremely insecure.

Answer 1

Leave it alone. Unless it is a diamond navel ring that is actually worth something, let it go. I hope you didn't actually beg when he dumped you over the phone. The guy is immature and not worth your time or energy. Put it behind you and move on with your life and learn from your experience. Don't ever beg for someone to do something, they'll see you as weak and pathetic and just strengthen their belief that you aren't worth being around. In the future, if something like this happens, tell him off - "You are breaking up with me on the phone, how pathetic, thanks for telling me so I don't waste any more of my life with you" and then hang up on him. You need to take control instead of being a victim and begging. If you really want the ring back show up at his house, bang on the door, and stand there till he gives it to you, do not say anything more than "here's your book, please give me the ring". Don't talk to him, come in the house, or anything, just stand there defiant until he gives you the ring and then leave with a pleasant good-bye - never looking back or calling/talking to him again. Stand up for yourself and be strong, he's the fool, don't let him make you look pathetic. Put him out of your mind, don't harbor ideas that he'll change his mind given time - if he tries to come back, then laugh at him and say you can't be serious - you don't want this boy in your life.

Answer 2

First off I can understand you wanting closure but if he didnt respect you enough to come say it to your face where you could whine and cry and beg and ask why (not saying you would men just assume they are all so wonderful thats what girls do) then you need to forget about him. Unless the book you have of his is the family bible or a book he needs for school toss it in the damn trash. Buy another navel ring unless this one is valued over 30 bucks most are little cheap things (again not saying yours was). I say give it til sunday for it to show up if it doesnt email him. That way you have proof should you end up going to cout over such a trival item. Better yet email him and text him. Do NOT get your mutal friend involved.

Answer 3

I also recommend email or text. This guy sounds like he wants out NOW, & is afraid to face you or he would have broken up in person! Sounds a little cowardly, but some guys just can't do it to your face...

If he's that type, he will run faster the more you push for a face-to-face meeting about ANYTHING, even your navel ring. So give him a little space, email or text him, & maybe he will eventually work up to seeing you.

Then again, if he's REALLY afraid to meet with you, you may never see that ring again. If it seems so, don't bug him...unless it's really valuable I would let it go & move on. You deserve someone who ends a relationship in person!

Answer 4

Send him an email or text telling him he can mail your navel ring if he doesn't want to see you. Or drop it at your home or something. Don't keep pushing it though cuz he'll think you want to see him. Also tell him you can send him his book too so he doesn't have to worry about coming by to pick it up. And he's a HUGE coward for breaking up with you over the phone so look at it as a favor to you, he SUCKS!! Good luck!

Answer 5

Hi,

I would definitely forget about the naval ring unless you are honestly attached to it for some reason. It sounds to me this guy isn't being too nice about things. If he said he was coming over Sunday and then didn't I would just let things be. If you want to mention it to his friend then I would do that and just see what happens. You will need to move on so contacting him probably won't help the process. Good luck!

Answer 6

I would just give it time ..at least a couple of days. After all I've played this game before in past break ups and its really only b/c you want to see the person "face to face" so you make up all these things that are SOOO important that you get back RIGHT then..when in reality you probably don't really care much about them. Give him space and if you find he's not going to call ..have him give the ring to his friend that you still talk to and then on to you.

Answer 7

I'd say your best bet of actually getting the ring back is tho ask his best friend to get it for you although this will probably piss off your ex. If you are using this as an excuse to see him and don't really care about the jewelry you should just forget about it for now because he needs the space.

Answer 8

no, no more time, act now or asap. he's a jerk. and if he was ur bf, u shouldhv known where his house is. if he still lives with parents, that's better, stop by when you know the parents are home. hoepfully they open the door and let u in before uf bf meet u, so he wouldnt hush u out and finally get u ur stuff back. but if he lives with a roomate, try to beg the roomate to let u come into the house and search ur stuff when ur bf's gone. and if ur bf lives alone, maybe u should sacrifice one whole day long waiting in front of his house (with friends of course, just in case), so he couldn't say no to you unless he wants to deal with a police =P

that ring is urs, u have the right to have it back if u need that.

Answer 9

If this guy couldn't even respect you enough to talk to you face to face about ending your relationship, he isn't worth much. If this navel ring means a lot to you, I'd ask the best friend to get it from him and give it to you, that way you don't have to talk to your ex. But I'd just forget about if you can.

Answer 10

If it is not expensive and has no sentimental value.....let it go. Drop off his book with someone you trust to give it to him and keep on walking. Closure is nice, but, just saying good bye to his face does not usually change anything. Unless you have more to say to him then goodbye, let it go. Take your energy and put it towards activities that put a smile on your face!!!!!!!