How do I potty train my 2.5 yr. old son while being 9 mths. pregnant?

Question

My son is due to be 3 at the end of September. The next scheduled move for him at school is the beginning of September to the 3 year old classroom. However, if he is not potty trained by then they are holding him back in the 2 yr. old classroom. He has been in the 2 yr. old classroom for almost a complete year and I am afraid if they hold him back, he will be unable to be intellectually challenged due to facing the same things he faced last year and not learning anything new. I am scheduled to have a baby the end of this month. My son knows how to go potty but for me he would rather play with his toys than go potty. I am trying to get quick advice on how I can effectively potty train him in a couple of weeks while coping with the pains of my pregnancy. If anyone has good suggestions on how I can handle this please let me know! Thank you.

Answer 1

Children teach themselves." Dr. Maria Montessori

The key is to let him potty train himself. Whenever you go pee, ask him he wants to go, too. If his answer is "no" let him pee in his diaper... when he is ready he will not want to wear a wet diaper! If his answer is "yes" place him seated on the adult potty seat facing the wall (hold him until he learns to feel confident). I filled a tiny cup with life savers and gave him one every time he pee'd. I always followed that reward by saying "I'm so proud of you." By the time that cup was empty, it was already habit and he didn't need a reward. Pooping may take longer. My grandson potty-trained himself in 3 days!

NOTE: When the potty-training began, he picked out his own big-boy underpants, pull-up were only used for naps and night-time.

Trust your child and have great expectations, but do not be disappointed if he backslides when the new baby is born. As long as you continue to praise him for his good behavior he will not seek bad behaviors to get your attention.

Answer 2

I would suggest finding another daycare/preschool. I also used to work in a daycare and though we strongly encouraged children to be potty trained by 3, we NEVER kept a child in a class too young for them. You are completely right, he will not be developing intellectually as he should if he's learning things for children an entire year younger than him. Most child care facilities are very understanding in these types of situations. Potty training is different for EVERY child and you cannot put a deadline on something like that. In my state, it's actually illegal for a child to be in the wrong class regardless of why they are in that class. I would talk to your director as well as do some online research about your states' laws.

All that said, your son will have to eventually be potty trained. However, when a new child comes into the picture, he is going to be very jealous and probably do things as a baby would just so he can steal some of your attention away. I would try to do things like read to him while your breastfeeding or set 15 minutes aside for just you and him every day while the baby's napping. Anyone pressuring him to go potty even if it's the daycare will cause him to regress and be even more unwilling to do it. Offer much praise when he does go but do not scold if he doesn't. Just ignore it as if nothing happened. Be sure to offer prizes such as stickers when he does go. Best of luck in potty training.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, it is rare that potty training for convenience will result in success. As a mom for 28 years to 4 kids and a child care provider in my home for 20 years, I can say that trying to potty train while other things are going on at home (such as a pending new baby brother or sister) is mostly just frustrating for all involved. Those years between 2-4 are filled with lots of learning and it all happens eventually, but not on any set time-line. I also have an early elementary teaching degree. Sometimes children do better in a class room setting when they are among the oldest in the class instead of among the youngest. If he moved to the 3-year class at the beginning of Sept. yet isn't 3 until the end of Sept., he will be among the youngest in his class. At 2-3 years old there is not a stigma associated with being "held-back" and he may very well flourish in an enviornment that is familiar to him. There really is little worry in how intellectually challenged he will be. He may not have been quite ready for the things he experienced while a young 2 and experiencing them again as an old 2/young 3 will be new and exciting for him. Combining a new baby in the house with a new class then throw having to be consistently potty trained in the mix may just be more than he can handle and may even result in behavioral problems. If you can keep as much consistent during a major family upheaval, it generally is a good idea. Successful potty training requires a lot of focus, patience and consistency, which will probably be in short supply during the last weeks of your pregnancy and while being mom to a newborn. My suggestion is to let him stay in the 2 year old room for now. He may be able to move to the 3 year old room once he is potty trained fully, but it may not be until after Christmas. Work on potty training, but let him do some of the leading and be prepared for a digression after the baby comes - quite common for older siblings to revert back to wetting and/or pooping in their pants after the birth of a new sibling. Potty training skills, unlike crawling and walking skills, have to be taught to children and each is ready to learn at their own pace.

Answer 4

I can't help you that much with the "how to's" of potty-training a child that young while you're pregnant.

However, my youngest was held back in the two year old room past his fourth birthday, because he was a late potty trainer, and I want to encourage you to challenge the school's policy on holding back children who are not potty trained.

There is more and more evidence that it is best to potty train a child when he or she is ready, not so they fit in some pre-conceived notion of when grownups think they should be out of diapers/pullups.

Not to mention, the national average for potty training, particularly for boys, is 3-4 years old. It is unrealistic for a daycare to expect children to be potty-trained before they can be in the three-year-old classroom.

What would they do if he regresses? Let's say you get him potty trained in less than a month (unlikely and unsuggested, but still....) If, after the major life change of a new baby joining the family, he regresses (definately not unheard of), will the daycare kick him out of the class he's in back into the baby class until he can get back to being fully potty trained? Do they not see the harm that would cause him?

Also, at a certain point, peer pressure can make or break potty training. Having your son, who according to them NEEDS to get potty trained quickly, in a classroom with kids who are still in diapers and everyone's okay with that, will not encourage him to go potty, it will show him that diaper changes are not that big a deal and something it is okay to continue.

As a child-care facility, they are in the business of caring for children appropriately, in age-appropriate settings. Punishing your child by holding him back for not reaching a milestone that many kids his age haven't reached is unreasonable and it is wrong.

I would suggest lobbying to allow your son to move up, or at LEAST to establish a "younger threes" class that has the setup of the three-year-old room, but allows for the "in-betweeners" to participate in three-year-old activities AND get the potty training encouragement and support they require.

Honestly, if I had known what I know now back when the preschool my kids go to decided to hold my youngest back, I would have moved them. There are daycares out there that care more about the development of the kids than they do about some unrealistic no-potty-training policy, and it's worth it to have your son in one of those instead of having him in a school where every area of development is sacrificed to the potty-training-on-time rule.

Answer 5

Honestly, there is so much unnecessary pressure to get our kids in the "right" class. It really isn't going to be detrimental to him to be 3 and in a 2 year old class. What kids need mostly at this age is to be loved and to have fun. If you push him too hard, he may very well regress in his potty training. Kids have their own priorities. Play is high on their list. Sometimes you just have to say, I know you want to play but I need you to go try the potty even if you don't have to go. If the urge is there, since their pants are down and they aren't playing, they will go. There are several books out there that swear you can do it in a few days but I think...JUST RELAX and let nature take its course.

Answer 6

It sound to me like you need to find a better daycare. I used to work at one and they never held kids back just because they weren't potty trained. I mean, how can they do that? Potty training is different for every child. My nephew is 4 1/2 and will go potty in the toilet but refuses to go poop in it. So I suggest you stop stressing yourself about it-you cannot rush potty training. Your son will be ready when he is ready. In the meantime I would be looking up some statutes in your state about the policy of holding kids back in daycares. That doesn't sit right with me somehow....

Answer 7

Do not put any pull ups on him at all...youll just have to mop up the accidents as they come...when he does go potty, go completlely over the top with praise....cheer and clap and talk about how wonderful and clever and what a good boy he is...it worked for me...and a little treat wont go amiss either.

Answer 8

I would strongly suggest you wait until after the baby is born. Chances are pretty good that your son will regress and forget everything you have taught him once a new baby is in the house. After the baby is born and established, you can tell your son what a big boy he is and he will probably be more cooperative.

Answer 9

i finally had to put my son in underwear and just let him go on himself. the discomfort was the only thing that got to him. whatever you do don't use pull ups. those are a joke. i tried for almost a year with pull ups (from age 2 -3). they are basically a fancy diaper. thay are just as absorbent and the child thus has no sense of discomfort when they wet them.

Answer 10

Have you tried rewards? Also, have your husband show him how, little guys usually want to do what their daddies do.

They sell special potties that actually have a flushing sounds and toilet paper holders, get one of them.

If you still work, why are the people he is with all day not trying to help train him?