My son's wedding was this past weekend. Some of the guests did not leave a gift or card with check or money. It's possible that someone may have walked out with the card and it was stolen as it does happen. Some of the guests invited are close work employees who drive down together and did have to stay over a few nights in a hotel at their own expense. Do we say anything in case their card is missing or just chalk it up since they did incur additional expenses.
2007-08-15 07:00:17 · 39 answers · asked by wersler 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
while i think everyone should the bride and groom something, other people think that that hotel expenses count as presents. i would just ignore lack o presents and direct the couple to send thank you cards saying how wonderful it was that person could share in their special day.
2007-08-15 07:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I certainly hope no cards were stolen! That would be terribly unfortunate.
That being said, I would elect not to ask those that did not offer a gift or money to your son. Considering no one is required or should be expected to give a gift at all, asking anyone might put someone on the spot for not giving a gift in the first place. That would be an awkward for that guest as well as you. Standard etiquette is that you need not bring anything but yourself to the wedding. Assume that it was not stolen, and perhaps no gift was given in the first place. Send a thank you card to the person for coming to the wedding and sharing in the celebration of the day. It will be better for everyone to leave well enough alone.
2007-08-15 08:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are two obvious possibilities here: either the guests didn't give a gift (and they're not required to), or they gave a gift and it was stolen. If the guests did not give a gift it will make them very uncomfortable for your son to mention it, even if he says something like "gosh, we didn't open a gift from you and think perhaps some of the gifts were stolen." They will now feel chastised. But, let's assume it's the second scenario, and they did give a gift, but it was stolen. Mentioning that to them may make them feel like they should replace the stolen gift with another one. They at least will feel bad if this is what happened. We all know it's not right to make a guest feel bad. So, the thing to do is send a thank-you card emphasising how much their presence on the important day meant to the newlyweds, with no specific mention of the presence or absence of a gift..
2007-08-15 07:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You say thank you for coming. You never know. They might have left a gift and a card, but somebody removed the card from the gift and stuck their own card on it.
Or they might have left home and driven forty miles before they realized that they'd left the gift on the dining room table.
If the guest is unemployed, they might not have had money to buy a gift. This is especially true of college students.
If the gift area looked unsecured, they might have decided to hold onto their gift or card and present it to the couple later.
There's also the chance that they have a card and a gift from them in the mail. Don't assume. Just be grateful that they were there to share the moment with you.
2007-08-15 07:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by artsy_lovely_lady 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for nothing? lol.
No really. As you say, they may have bought money and it was stolen...(what kind of person would do such a thing tho is beyond me) but then remember that a wedding gift is not a neccessity. There is no rule that says they even have to give one...altho most of us do and would feel rude to not do so.
Remember too that they have up to a year to send on a gift. Maybe it just got over looked in the rush, or left at home, or they thought they would take care of it later so they dont need to travel with it.
Anything is possible. Just send a thank you card anyways, thanking them for their presence.
2007-08-15 10:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
However common, gifting is optional on a wedding. Some out-of-town guests that incur in travelling expenses sometimes do not bring gifts, as the extra expense of airfare, gas, meals and hotel associated to attending the wedding is sufficient. The attendance of your guests is the gift.
Unless you have unrefutable proof of theft, do not bother. Some people choose not to bring gifts and that's their prerrogative, however rude, they can do that as bringing a gift is not an obligation, but rather a courtesy.
Good luck
2007-08-15 07:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You know these people. Would they attend a wedding and think their gift was attendance? Do not say anything unless they mention it. It could very well be that the cards were stolen. For the future, you should always have someone bring the stack of cards (leave one in the cage) to the Bride's mother for safekeeping. She can keep them in her purse or lock them in the trunk of her car. Sadly, every crook knows there is money in those cards.
2007-08-15 07:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by Julie H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything, some people don't think they need to bring a card or present, there is no law anywhere that says they must and you cannot plan your budget thinking that the guests will cover some of the cost of it, that's a bit naive if you think that. What it boils down to is lack of manners on their behalf, most people do take a card or gift, but a gift is a gift, there is no obligation for anyone to bring anything at all.
2007-08-15 23:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh...
Ok, first of all, you don't invite people to a wedding expecting gifts and money from them! If you ask them to a wedding, it should be because you want them to be there and share the most important day of your life with you.
If they had to stay at a hotel and drive far to come to your son's wedding, I think they've spent enough money. I'm disgusted that you actually have the nerve to post something like this... If you know that people could walk away with a gift or money, then there should've been somebody trustworthy standing wherever gifts were being placed and then it all should have been put in a safe place.
Don't call people up asking about the lack of money... That is so freaking rude.
2007-08-15 07:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 11⤊ 1⤋
I have always heard that guests have up to a year after the wedding to give a gift.
And no, one cannot compel the guests to give. If they don't give anything, thank them for attending and move on.
Make sure thank-you notes are written promptly for all gifts received. I am sure that if something was stolen, you will hear about it quickly. A guest will ask, "Did you get my check? It never cleared my bank."
2007-08-15 07:09:09 · answer #10 · answered by Suz123 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nobody owes a wedding gift. Do not mention it. If word gets around that they didn't get a thank-you card, then address it with them. Just say you realized the expense of travel was alot so you didn't expect anything from them. Also, they may ask if a check has not been cashed and they are trying to balance their checkbook. Then just say the pleasure of their attendance was enough, you didn't realize they gave your son a check and that is why it was never cashed.
2007-08-15 07:07:03 · answer #11 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋