He's the "shy guy type"...and a late bloomer (20's)- never been kissed, had a relationship or any romantic physical contact.
We've been friends for years and he's liked me since the beg. It took me three yrs to realize i had serious and real feelings fo him and when we figured it out, i gave him his first kiss and was pretty much the "closest thing he's had to a relationship". We decided to stay friends because we didn't wanna risk anything too soon. It was MUTUAL.
RIGHT AFTER, he lost someone close so he's pushed me away out of everyone else. He seems to be doing "okay" now but doesn't wanna get that close to me - he gave me a TEXT that was non sense saying i "shouldn't wait for him" - even though we ALREADY decided to stay friends. Before that he kept going back and fourth saying i should "be with other guys" yet "girls get to decide whoever they want to be with". I felt so hurt and disrepsected I never responded back.
It's been 3 weeks. I was thinking of writing him an EMAIL and telling him the entire truth and not hold him back but i have a PROBLEM. When the "txt situation" happened, one of my girlfriends left a comment pretty much insulting him but w. no name. His best friend saw and copied and pasted on his page - NOW i'm thinking he pretty much hates me and took it heart...I'm afraid he's gonna have a grudge against me for life. I wanted to wait and write the email when i'm completely calm and not as hurt but i don't wanna send it to him if he's sitll heated about things.
What do i do? Will he have a grudge against me?
2007-08-15 06:41:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PS: He's a shy guy...of course he'll always check my page for "info" but he'll never tell me...
2007-08-15 06:42:58 · update #1
and the timing - SHOULD I WAIT A LITTLE MORE OR EMAIL NOW?
2007-08-15 06:51:29 · update #2
Be honest wth him and clarify everything. He sounds kinda like me, but a little more inexperienced. He might hate you at this point, but I don't know what you said about him. Make him feel comfortable with you again by explaining how you feel. Here are two quotes. One for you, one you can tell him:
"The truth is like surgery: It hurts, but cures."
"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: you are the one that gets burned."
2007-08-15 06:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by bluedevil1642 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know..im a pretty shy guy myself..
we can certainly hold grudges because we can sometimes fall fast..and get hurt easily...
but if you come back to him when you are both calm and cool: he will almost certainly come back to you. if he hada grudge with you in the first place.
sometimes even if we seem hurt and act like we hate you...we still have a great amount of feelings for you.
being a shy, quiet guy can really suck. we are often much more than what we look like on the outside. we tend to think things over way to much.
my best advice would be to keep calm and collected. find out if he is calm. then talk to him.
tell him your true feelings. also...dont let him go without speaking his mind completely.
if a guy thinks you are hiding something, he possibly could get mad. and most shy guys tend to hold back and keep important things to themselves
i must say ive been goin through some rough spots similar to this. i know its complicated and difficult. good luck!
2007-08-15 07:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you didn't send the text, I would let him know and set it straight ASAP. If he's a shy type, yes he might hold a grudge. but only thing you can do is tell your side and explain to him. If he wants to hold a grudge and not wanna be friends with you, that his prob.
move on.
2007-08-15 06:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by moose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he doesnt have a grudge against you. Since both of you are friends, you should just email him and befriend him all over again. Having an extra friend is better than having extra enemy. Good luck! =)
2007-08-15 06:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is let him know how you feel basically...YES go and email him. It will be a burden off your shouldes and if he takes it offensively or doesn't want anything to do with you later, at least you have the ease of mind knowing you expressed yourself to him and not regret it.
2007-08-15 06:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by dr. phillian here.. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every person can carry a grudge. It sounds to me like he grow to be attempting to assist you to down basic; the two that or he has deep-seated emotional themes that avert him from being close to to every person, so if he reported you may no longer wait for him, then do no longer.
2016-10-10 07:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by bondieumatre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send the message but be nice. let him know you didn't send that hurtful message. tell him you miss him and still want to be friends
2007-08-15 06:49:38 · answer #7 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋