Straight up, God keeps telling me stuff and I feel like jesus. I have long hair and everything... One of my "deciples" (a cat) has got me in trouble.. I have walked on some water... healed the sick and now I am trying to start a new religion based on love, understanding and above all rock music.
If Im not the actual second coming, perhaps I could be a kind of pope type of guy.. although to be honest, Ive never been a nazi so I dont know if I qualify... I have been known to turn a blind eye to the odd holocaust...
What do you lot reckon?
2007-08-15 06:36:27 · 40 answers · asked by andy2kbaker 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Oh ....Freedom of speech rules and Im not scared..
2007-08-15 06:37:01 · update #1
Hey brittany... I have read it and its the best bit of fiction ever...
2007-08-15 06:42:50 · update #2
As for what Im smoking..... eh he he
2007-08-15 06:44:50 · update #3
Hey Yweety bird.... no I dont you mug.
2007-08-16 15:54:15 · update #4
How dare you try to usurp my position as the next-in-line god!!
This is my 3rd coming - as the actress said to the Bishop - and I will not stand for those who stand against me, unless they are attractive women, or another willing Mary whom I can impregnate with my next son - they crucified the last one - they didn`t believe me then, either.
Oh, to hell with it - I`m going.
G`nite!
2007-08-15 07:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Montgomery B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God talks to everyone, most people don't listen. We all have the potential to allow Gods healing power to work through us. I don't think walking through a puddle counts as a miracle. As for the rock music, a friend of mine had a vision of Jesus with four arms: two were playing the guitar and two were conducting an orchestra. It turns out that the Indian Christ has four arms. You don't have to be a nazi to be the head of your own religion. Jesus is in all our hearts, that's why you feel like Jesus. Lots of people think they're Jesus because He has come again in all our hearts.
2007-08-16 11:08:11 · answer #2 · answered by Holistic Mystic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ultimately, the "good judgment" of the stairs is beside the point. The question is whether or no longer there's a reason to have faith that the character of guy as positioned out by employing the bible is a genuine representation or no longer. whether it relatively is, then the paired statements on the life of God and the character of God could desire to be examined. it relatively is those claims, no longer the stairs, that require mirrored image. in case you end that the character of guy isn't properly suited with the bible, then you certainly will could desire to verify why you desire issues like justice, love, wish, faithfulness and forgiveness to exist (i think of this could properly be a primary human want). If there is not any sin, then there is not any "offense" against yet somebody else...different than which you probably did no longer stay as much as their expectancies. there is not any justice, because of the fact capability/capability (the skill to impose your will) is appropriate by employing default. Love is entirely a chemical imbalance. and there is not any reason your life is to any extent further important than, say, that of a cow, on account which you have no longer any 'image of God' inspired on your humanity. i found that delivered me to the top that i'm "made" in a definite way...and that no thought of evolution could desire to describe why those could be so important. So I got here to the different end, that God does exist...that he knows me...and that i'm created for relationship with him. And something of the coolest judgment falls into place over the years and know-how.
2016-10-10 07:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by bondieumatre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what? You don't have to believe that Jesus exists...thats fine, it's your choice. but there is no need in trying to get a rise out of people. that is totally uncalled for. and if i were you, i'd be careful what you say, because one day very soon you are going to have to stand before God. you don't have to believe in God, but you should have the decency to respect those that do. and respect our religion, and most of all you should respect Jesus himself.
2007-08-15 06:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by tweetybird37406 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's funnier? Your question or the people who are serious about telling you to seek help.
Your cat wears boots and a scarf, it's dressed terribly and you're a horrible savior to allow your disciple to embarrass himself.
2007-08-15 06:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by floridaguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many people who believe they are either an incarnation of Jesus, or that they are a special messenger from god.
They also believe that they have all sorts of powers to perform miracles.
2007-08-15 06:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by Handsome Boy Modeling School 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Two thousand years ago you'd be considered a prophet by some, today some would consider you in need of medical treatment.
Times have changed... or have they?
2007-08-15 06:41:06 · answer #7 · answered by 203 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds good to me, I'll join as long as I don't have to deny myself anything and you teach me that water trick - you don't know how many times my dog has lost her ball in the lake.
2007-08-15 06:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what the last guy did & drink the punch, only do us a favor and drink alone to avoid a crisis like the last one. :) PS to all who thinks he's serious lighten up he's mocking religeon, he doesn't need a shrink, he just needs a life.
2007-08-15 06:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by blah blah blah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HAHAHA you are delusional
its the VOICES not god
because god is NOT real
you should not start your own religion.
you really are messed up if your deciple is a cat
2007-08-15 06:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋