Should couples who decide not to marry refrain from sex?

Question

More and more, there are couples who choose to live together for along period of time before getting married. This in itself is considered a sin. But these couples often chose this route because they want to make sure they are making the right decision. If they live with the person first, they know what it would be like to be married to that person.

Should couples like that refrain from premarital sex?

Additionally, more couples are deciding not to get married at all. They don't feel the need to have their union recognized legally for various reasons.

Should these couples also refrain from premarital sex?

furiousblue: What? I'm innocent! **bats eyes cutely**

Have I mentioned that Ghoulina rules?

Hi, dear!

no1home2day: I'm sorry. I really don't want to be mean, but . . . you have to be a virgin.

"DUH! Any man can mate with any woman, unless there is some physical problem or deformity."

You haven't read nearly enough about sexuality. Please read. Lots. And lots. Please.

And if you don't believe me, I'll give you one example of why not all men and women are sexually compatible: genital size.

Answer 1

Hmm. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I'm seeing a certain theme to your recent questions. ;-)
To answer your question: Absolutely not. Why? Because it would really suck to discover after you're married that you aren't sexually compatible and have no physical chemistry. Then you're stuck with a partner with whom you'll never have a fulfilling sex life. Always take a test drive (or twenty) before you buy a car!

Answer 2

Living together is a decision a couple has taken. There are some societies who do not accept this without marriage.

I would say that premarital sex with consent is Ok. But there can be a way to know a person and then decide if you want to have a long term relation and marriage if both desire. The living in relationships are good if none want to commit, but on the long run, marriages are the way of life as per present day society, so I would encourage that.

Answer 3

In biblical times a two people were considered married after they had sex. I think that the commitment needs to be there though before people going around sleeping with each other-there are so many unwanted kids and pregnancys in the world right now- it is enough to make a person question what people are thinking- newsflash- it isn't just about you, it never is, never was and never will be. The world has millions of people in it and ever action will have a reaction somewhere at some point.
I think that living together before you are married is stupid and I don't think that people should have sex until marriage. People who don't live together before marriage and/ or don't have sex before marriage are less likely to get divorced so quite honestly I think the excuse of I want to make sure we can live together is pointless and is a rationalization.
As for not getting married because you don't feel your commitment needs to be recognized for legal reasons- that is your choice- but you better make sure the commitment is there.

Answer 4

If they want to obey the Will of God, they will:
1) enjoy sex only if they are legally married, and
2) never cohabitate together unless they are legally married

Otherwise, if they don't care about obeying God's Will and trusting in His infinite wisdom, and knowing that He knows best, then they'll do whatever pleases their gonads.

Cohabitation isn't any kind of a committment, it's merely test-driving the goods. If two people wanna make a REAL committment, then they'll have the b@lls to marry.

One relationship after the other, one cohabitation after the other... After a couple of decades of this, can you imagine all the nasties one can collect with all that sex from so many people? YUCK!

Sex is a beautiful gift from God, it should be treated with the most love and reverence, which is in marriage. To open such a gift in the wrong setting would be as bad a decision as giving precious gems to swine.

Ah, but waiting until marriage, what a wonderful way to honor God, the Giver, and what a wonderful gift to open together with one's spouse.

And if two people aren't sexually compatible at first, then they can learn. Everything can be learned eventually, and the great part is that the learning is a pleasant and loving experience, bumps and all.

(a la Forrest Gump)
That's all I have to say about that.

Answer 5

I'm just curious as to why you want to write about something that you apparently know nothing about? I'm not trying to be rude. I love to write but I'm not going to pick up a pen and write a story or book about molecular biology any time soon. I am sure that any parent that loses a child would be devastated at the loss of the child. It has nothing to do with ones race or society. Frankly, I'm a little surprised that someone would consider that to be a factor. A death of a child could devastate any family and possibly destroy a marriage regardless of the race of the child. Anyway, to answer your question, I'm biracial and so is my husband so we are both products of interracial marriages. I know that both of our respective families received some criticism or prejudice for being together. Then again, it was a different time when they were dating/first married than it is now. I dated a white guy, a native guy and a black guy before my husband. Race was never a factor in deciding to date any of those guys and I never received any prejudice for those relationships. My husband dated a filipino, a white girl and a spanish girl before me. Race also was not a factor in those relationships but I can't speak to whether he received any prejudice or other issues in dating them. People are people.

Answer 6

I say yes, but It's a complex issue.

Many pastoral counselors are of the conviction that abstinence from intercourse between live in couples to be married will make the experience better after the ceremony, the rationale being increased sensate focus and less routinization of the act.

Differentiating 'marriage' from 'holy matrimony' is a convoluted issue as well. Couples who join under the auspices of 'holy matrimony' are supposedly bound to the tenets and canon of scripture whereby sex out of wedlock and same sex union is wrong.

Couples who decide to decline all formal marriage, 'holy matrimony', 'civil unions' and so forth pretty much cannot refrain from premarital sex unless they are pursuing an asexual lifestyle, i.e., their sex will always be 'premarital' barring acceptance of 'common law marriage' -- which is actually just a form of civil union.

Answer 7

No. The idea is nice. I think as long as you practice safe sex that is all that really matters. I lived with my husband for 2.5 years before we married and we had premarital sex. Do I think it ruined us...no. Is it a sin...in the bible yes. In my heart no. I knew he was the one. I think you should have sex when you are in love with someone. I don't think you should be giving it out like candy. To me there is a difference.

Answer 8

If it is the case that a couple want to get to know each other before committing to each other in marriage, then spend a lot of time together. Sex doesn't tell you if you are emotionally or mentally compatible, and please don't say you need to find out if you are physically compatible. DUH! Any man can mate with any woman, unless there is some physical problem or deformity.

There is absolutely no excuse for premarital sex.

Answer 9

This is my personal belief - God doesn't require the "legal act" of marriage. He doesn't care if you stand before a judge or a preacher and pledge your undying love to someone. But He does consider that when you have sex with someone, you are binding yourself to that person in an intimate way. You are essentially taking that person as your mate.

Answer 10

i don't think its realistic to expect a man and woman to live together and not engage in sex. For that matter then, you should just say if you're not going to marry, don't cohabitate.

If you don't mind a man and woman living together unmarried, surely you can't mind the inevitable deed of sex that will occur between them