I've been married for 6 years. We didn't have a wedding 6 years ago, we got married in a court house and had a little party after the ceremony. I was upset about it for years, I was only 20 when we got married and I always wanted to have a dream wedding. My husband promised me that we would have a nice wedding. So we had a church wedding 4 months ago and it was a disaster. My stepdaughter fainted during the ceremony, my hair stylist didn't show up, the sound system didn't work at the church, food was not served on time at the reception, our pictures and video didn't turn out, etc. I put so much time and effort in this wedding! I made my own pew bows and I asked a friend to tie them to the pews but she forgot. There were no place cards ( I spent a month making them!). We never had a wedding night either, my husband fell asleep both times!I am still devastated. We had two weddings and I do not even have pictures! My husband says that we could have a third wedding.. How do I get over it?
2007-08-15 05:20:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The worst thing is that wed o nto have any pictures! No memories! That is the most horrible thing...And yes, we do love each other and my husband wants to marry me every year.....
2007-08-15 05:35:33 · update #1
I understand your disappointment because everyone wants a perfect wedding. Unfortunately, some things are out of our hands when it comes to elaborate wedding ceremonies.
My suggestion is to have a renewal of your vows in four years for your ten year anniversary. You could have a small simple backyard service or you could even go to Vegas and have a really cool theme wedding (and they'd do all the arrangements for you).
2007-08-15 09:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I worked at a place where weddings were catered. We had one wedding where the wedding party was toasting the bride. The lovely wedding cake was in the center of the table and when the group stood up for the toast, the table collapsed and the cake fell to the floor, crumbling to the ground. All the drinks spilled, the flowers went flying and it was a huge disaster. Another wedding was spoiled when the father of the bride collapsed after dancing with his daughter. That was very upsetting and was a sad kind of disaster. The third wedding, and most memorable was when the manager of the wedding scheduling took off with the books and a whole lot of money. The day before the wedding, the bride's mother called to ask if she could possibly change the vegetable that was being served to another. We didn't have a clue that there was going to be any wedding because the scheduling calendar was gone with the embezzler!! We scrambled and got the room ready, the tables set and had barely enough prime rib to cut for the guests. (Cut them extremely thin so we had just enough!!!) As we were serving, one of the waitresses slipped and a prime rib went flying onto the floor! She grabbed it, ran back into the kitchen, rinsed it off, heated it up and immediately served it to one of the guests. (No choice, since there were no extra pieces!) It was an embarrassment to serve anything like that but we were stuck and the show had to go on. People were asking for end cuts of the prime rib but there were no cuts to be distributed so they had to settle for measly little cuts and were probably pretty disappointed but, they had the wedding reception and we got away without a lawsuit!! The wedding party never knew what had happened or that we didn't have a clue that they were coming for the reception the following day!! Can you imagine!! I didn't stay working there for very long; too many problems!! (The embezzler got caught and went to jail somewhere down the line!!)
2016-03-17 00:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand where you are coming from. My husband and I got married overseas in a civil ceremony while in the military. I had the same dream every girl has of the big church wedding, white dress, etc., and it took me a number of years to get over that regret. But I did, and when I think of the money AND stress my parents and I saved by not having that big wedding...something that only lasts for one day, I am now glad we didn't do it.
I have a niece getting married next month and she is going all out. Her parents can't afford what it is costing them to fulfill her dreams and they could definitely use that money they are spending on more important things. I tried to counsel her on scaling down, but she wouldn't listen and is now so stressed, I worry about her. I know that if ANYTHING goes wrong, she will be a basket case for months to come. It just isn't worth it!
The size and beauty of a wedding does not have anything to do with a happy marriage. I have been married almost 33 years now, and people often comment that we still act like newlyweds. Enjoy your guy and put this behind you.
2007-08-15 05:36:27 · answer #3 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are out for the marriage? Wanting the dream wedding is something that every girl wants at some point but you sound like you are obsessing over it. Let it happen naturally and stop trying so hard to make everything perfect. If you two are happy then you should be able to come up with something that won't be as stressful but will be magical and fun. Relax, after all its a party not the end of the world. I wish you the best.
2007-08-15 05:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by Waterwitch E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all: You only get married ONCE. You only have ONE wedding. You can't have a 2nd and 3rd wedding without looking foolish. I mean, what are you going to do? Exchange rings again with the man you are already married to?
Listen...You need to let this go and grow up a little bit. You have been married for 6 years. The wedding is over, the marriage continues. A big fancy party is not what the whole thing is all about. You should be enjoying your married life with the man you love...not obsessing over getting a big "Look at me" party....for the THIRD time! Having mock weddings over and over again just makes you look foolish, and belittles the marriage vows you already made...the first time.
2007-08-15 06:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Jeez. Chill. You're talking about a social event here, not one of the big disasters that can happen in a life. What's more important: the marriage or the wedding? You've already had two weddings (which I think is one more than anyone should have to the same spouse)--are you going to keep re-doing it until it's perfect? Newsflash: it will NEVER be perfect. Life is not perfect, events are not perfect. And you're nuts if you expect people to go to a third wedding. Get over it!
2007-08-15 05:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
It is not the wedding that counts, it is the marriage.
Sounds like you have a loving husband (he has offered to have a third wedding).
Somebody is bound to have some snapshots, even if the professional photographer didn't.
And you have memories. You just don't have the right attitude. You have a great story to tell and laugh about.
But in the end it is not about the wedding it is about the marriage. Make that great!
2007-08-15 06:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consider yourself lucky . . how would you feel if you spent over $65,000 for your wedding-reception-honeymoon and the Groom's girlfriend watched your wedding from the back of the church! And two months later, before the wedding album was even finished, the Groom packed up and moved out. Tis true! One of my recent Brides and Grooms.
If you decide to have another wedding ceremony PLEASE get professional wedding help. If you had hired a wedding coordinator for the day of your wedding and reception to oversee the activities and manage the vendors/service personnel 90% of those problems would not have occurred.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-08-15 09:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should save up and spend your next anniversary in Vegas . . . . just the two of you, you and your hubby. Have a vow renewal at one of the hotel chapels. You can get flowers and a DVD and photographs of the ceremony. You can have a romantic candlelit dinner after.
Frequently, weddings do not turn out to be "perfect." I think the "perfect" wedding is something created by the media. Usually something goes wrong somewhere. It may be just a tiny something, unnoticed by many. Or as in your case, it may be something big. But these things happen.
Concentrate instead on having a good marriage and a happy life. Good luck to you.
2007-08-15 06:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question- Is there any love in this relationship? If so, forget the wedding, forget your need to impress your family and friends with a bang up wedding ceremony (they didn't want to come anyway!-- trust me), and go on a dream honeymoon. That way, it's just the two of you, on a romantic beach or atop the Eiffel Tower, with noone around. If you are truly in love, you'll have fun and that's should be all that matters. Good luck!
2007-08-15 05:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋