As soon as you meet her, she comes across as a good natured person. A little shy but it's obvious that she's good hearted.
However, she tends to become consumed with her insecurities and fears and she is so scared of getting hurt. Hasn't really considered the guys feelings because she's wrapped up in her own fears.
Is this girl selfish?
2007-08-15 04:58:59 · 26 answers · asked by Chelsea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
NO, she is not selfish! She does need to realize that there is more than one person in the relationship, yea she may have fears and insecurities but a lot of people do and if she lets them come between her and her relationship the relationship will ultimately suffer. It also makes it hard for the other person who is in the relationship because they may be getting tired of putting forth what seems to them like all the effort to keep the relationship alive. I hope you understand what I am saying.
2007-08-15 05:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by Vince 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's insecure, not selfish, as many have already said. The problem is that the guy she's in a relationship with can't tell the difference if she doesn't talk to him. Some of the actions associated with insecurity are identical to selfish behavior and as such they can hurt a relationship and even if it's for the wrong reasons it will still drive someone away. She should read some self help books and/or consider counseling to help her deal with the insecurities.
2007-08-15 05:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by Joe M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think selfish is the right word.
Fear can consume you and thats what it sounds like to me. Maybe she has been hurt really seriously bad before and she has hardened her heart so it won't happen again. Im not saying its right or wrong. With time she may open up a little and let people in, or, she could take a turn for the worse and close her heart completly.
How you can help. Let her know its okay to be fearful and scared of relationships, thats what makes them so special. Remind her that if relationships were easy then there would be no divorce or break ups. Its a give and take. However, if you don't take chances, you will never get anywhere. You can't go your whole life saying "what if" take charge and fear no pain, open your heart and let it be filled with love. If your hurt, learn from it, and then teach it.
2007-08-15 05:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by 2shay 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No she isn't selfish. She's just sensitive and kind of apprehensive from her previous negative experiences. If you really love this girl than you need to be willing to do whatever it takes to help her get past her insecurities.
I suggest that you both get assistance from a relationship counselor to help you both move past this difficult time in your relationship.
If you don't love her or desire to be in a relationship anymore, I recommend that you suggest she get personal counseling by herself. That way she won't be so insecure or self-conscious when she gets into another relationship with someone else after you two break up.
Regardless, remember that love is not selfish and hopes the best for others.
2007-08-15 05:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by Enygma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't call her selfish, u said she is insecure. that would just make matters worse. u say she is good hearted, help her out make her feel like she is the only one in your life now. when she gets insecure help her through it. talk to her. you will be doing her and you a great deal of help.
2007-08-15 05:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's insecure, but not selfish. However, the man dating her might percieve her as selfish, since he does not know what is going on inside her head (and what she KNOWS is insecurity he may see as snobbyness, etc.).
2007-08-15 05:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by BK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't define that as selfish.
But this girl does need to be careful. The sort of behavior you're describing often leads to a scenario where she drives her man away, then says to herself "He never really loved me"
I'm not being judgemental. The sort of thing I just described is a mistake, not a sin.
But it's a mistake well worth avoiding.
2007-08-15 05:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by Robert K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. She just has issues to deal with regarding her self esteem before she is able to consider said guys feelings. Not selfish at all, sweetie. Its understandable.
2007-08-15 05:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Libra ♎ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is selfish but not on purpose. She needs therapy to let go of all the things that hurt her and prevent her from moving on.
2007-08-15 05:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she sounds selfish. I just think she sounds very insecure and scared of life in general.
2007-08-15 05:02:55 · answer #10 · answered by gorgeous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋