husband in military,he gambles the money away.. can i get his pay direct deposited into my account??

Question

He's been gambling for the last 3 yrs... leaving me and our 2 young children with no money.. sometimes not enough money for food.. formula or dipers... that i have to go and borrow money from my family members and friends... i know he's trying to change and i can see that he is trying.. but i would feel more comfy and secure if there was a way to prevent him from temptation %100..... meaning i have all the control with the money. Mind you that this is his 3rd time trying to change so i've already been pretty patient. Any advice would be help!! THX EVERYONE!!!!

and yes i know i can contact his chain of command.. but i dont want it to back fire on him... unless things get to that point where his job does not concern me no more... then i will do that.. but as it stands right now.. we are still working on this marriage..

i only wanted to know if i can get his pay transfered over to my account.. and rest assure.. if i suggest this.. he will agree.. just wondering if its possible or not... thx all of you for all the help

Answer 1

no you cant unless you have power of attorney.you can always tell him if this continues you will leave,thats enough to make most men straighten up

Answer 2

It can be done or set up in a certain way but he needs to sign off on it. But if he really wants to make things right he would have no concievable reason to say no to it.

Bottom line he has to realize that he risks losing his family. Though I am sure you believe in your family it's possible your patience is sending the wrong message. You might consider drawing the line as denying him access to money can lead to other issues (he might start to feel emasculated) and does not address the core issue of him having a problem. Its like "look you are endangering the life of your family and children". So unless he controls himself you are going to pack up and leave back home...... thats it. Not get a divorce but make it serious in his mind.

You could make it clear that you will speak to someone or his commander. He will realize this could impact his career. It does not have to as the military can be super understanding. But it will cause him time and effort.

Point is...... military or not. You take away the money whats to stop him from borrowing it? It is easy to do so when military as the creditors know how to find you. Then his debts become yours as well. Its kind of like if a person has an alchohol problem. You could clean the house of it but if a person has a problem they will figure out how to get a drink.

Let him have access but draw a line. You WILL call someone or leave if one stinking dollar is spent on gambling. If it happens make the call as the military can deal w. this in many ways.

Again taking away the temptation does not solve the issue. And you know there are people that you can speak to (like a Chaplain or whatnot) who can advise you and it goes no further. Obviously you love your husband by being so patient so you are halfway there. If handled right all will be well...... but you are going to have to go to it and handle it.

Answer 3

what rank is he? talk to the command about it . It has do be done by mypay and dfas so you cant do it on your own because you arent him. On base they have The Navy Marine Relief Society they will try to help you get a small loan usually 1,500.00 for food and diapers etc. it will be on his record though. they will also want you guys to have your bills ready and try to balance out your accounts and have a small finacial meeting. They will also offer free counceling unless he is above an E-5 there is a small fee, there's marriage counceling, addiction counceling, play theraphy counceling for children, Im not implying that you need them Im just letting you know what they have available. On base they also have a free commodities program, free food donated by people and companies for military families held once a month. They also have the share program, email me and ill give you some details, but things vary with every duty station. oh and check the closest USO for more available programs.

Answer 4

It depends on what you want your husband to go through. You can contact his 1SG or his Commander. He may face some mild disciplinary punishment.

What your husband needs to do is voluntarily give up control of the money, and then you dole him out an agreed upon amount. If he gambles it away so be it, he'll be broke, but you'll still have money for family needs. How you get him to that point is up to you.

Answer 5

From the sound of your question, your spouse is Navy. You should contac the Nearest Navy Family Service Center and make an appointment to see a counselor. Talk to them and also contact the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society for assistance. Both of these organizations can contact your husbands command and request he be counseled by his Division Officer or Department Head concerning his financial situation and his gambling. It sounds as though he has a gambling addiction which can be treated. If he will go willingly to the NFSC he can prevent his command from becoming involved. You need to force him into going by giving him an outright choice, that he makes an appointment and keeps it or you will make one and have them contact his command. If you have to have his command become involved, it can be detremental to his evaluation.
Has his family or yours tried to talk to him about his situation?
As to you handling the finances, unless as another answered, he turns his money over to you, you have no legal means to take it.
I suggest you have both families contact him and confront him with his problem and request he seek help for himself and most importantly for his marriage and children. If he refuses to seek help, contact the NFSC and request assistance from them. You can also contact a Chaplain and they will intervene for you with contacting his Command.
Best of luck to you and your family that this works out.

Answer 6

First off I do not think it would be wise of you (or possible) for you to take all of his money away he would find other potentially more dangerous ways to get the $. What you would have to do is contact his chain of command (squad leader, platoon Sargeant, first Sargeant) and notify them what is happening and ask for their help if they are not able to provide you with the proper help you need then JAG is available to you as well stop by there and talk to them they will be able to give you the proper procedures for getting the child support $ you need.

Answer 7

Well if you have power of attorney especially for finances then you can go to the Finance Office and they will change it for you.
I would give him monthly allotments. Put him on a budget. Also, go and talk to his direct supervisor/First Shirt. They can get him help---no strings attached.
This happened to an Airman that I know. He was addicted and lost everything and I mean EVERYTHING. He was eventually kicked out. In the end his supervisor was paying all of his bills with for him (with the Airman's money though).

Good luck!

Answer 8

YES you can if you have POA and he says its alright. You can go to mypay and change EVERYTHING. Set him up on a budget. Allot only so much to him and the rest pay ur bills and by food, if any is left then you both decide where it goes. But ALWAYS make sure the bills are paid and food is there. Good luck

Answer 9

I don't think you can without some type of power of attorney. I'd speak to his commanding officer. There is no need for you to be in such a situation. Especially if he is aware of his problem and tries to get better.

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

You didn't specify what branch of the military..If he is Army it can be changed on AKO acct. If he is willing you will need his password. It takes about 15-30 days for change to take effect. If he is Army this is an easy one!! Good Luck!!
Proud Army Wife!! HOOAH!!

Answer 11

Find out who his "Company Commander" is and send him a letter explaining your problem. I'm sure he would look into the matter of some one under his command neglecting their wife and children.