My boyfriend moved halfway across the country to live in the same city with me (and there is nothing else here for him--it's a small town). After about four months of living here he became distant, said he doesn't require affection, told me I'm the perfect girlfriend and he cares about me a lot and then proceeded to tell me he doesn't want a romantic relationship anymore. He told me that I am basically his only real relationship ever even though he is 26. I don't think he's ever even had a relationship spanning more than a month or two besides me... I'm so perplexed right now because it seems like his actions and his words don't match. Any ideas here? How do you dump someone that you call the "perfect girlfriend?"
2007-08-15 04:01:27 · 18 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
because he wants to play the field and doesnt want to hurt you
2007-08-15 04:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by MCK_23_L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's how a man thinks my dear.
He may even tell you that you're the best thing that has ever happened to him.. but as it is, he already said that he doesn't want to have a relationship. I am sure he has his reasons for it... perhaps right now, he is not yet ready for a long term commitment, or he has other concerns that he has to pay attention to in the meantime.. that's why.
My advice to you is to give him the space that he needs. If he wants to go, then let him go. Afterall, he still has a choice while you're still not married. If you two are meant to be together, then you will be, but perhaps not at this time. Or if not, you just have to face it in a mature way. Sad, but it is reality.
2007-08-15 04:12:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No idea. Something may be going on, maybe depression, although is usually attack before the twenty two. Let me recommend a couple of sites on depression and emotional intelligence and any others you may find. There's so much information out there on the net that people need so desperately. I don't know why they don't avail themselves of it before something goes wrong. self-confidence. co. uk and trans4mind are a couple. Go for it. Hey, it will take some work but it's the basics of life everyone will have, the latest techniques and leading to life long learning. "Go within or go without." and "No pain no gain."
2007-08-15 04:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe what he meant was that you're a great girlfriend, just not the right one for him. A guy does still have the option not to be involved with you if he's not interested, right?
Besides, if you're the 1st girl he's ever been with, how do you expect him to totally commit to you? How will he ever know what could have been? Apparently you've had some "experience" in other relationships and you're more sure of yourself. Well, he needs that same kind of assurance that you are (or are not) the right one for him.
2007-08-15 04:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As with any relationship (or even anybody), don't listen to words, look at the action. If I listen to everything girls said to me without a grain of salt, I'd go insane. Same goes with guys.
Becoming distant to you means he feels you're taking up his time. What guy says he doesn't want a "romantic relationship" when he's really into a girl.
Chances are he's found somebody else.
2007-08-15 04:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He might want to look into other options. You can do the same.
His words and his actions sort of make sense to me, then again, because I'm a guy. You can be a great gf but he might not be in that stage of his life to want to continue in a long-term relationship.
2007-08-15 04:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dump them because you are afraid of commitment (hence the lack of other long-term relationships). The whole "perfect girlfriend" thing is his blunt way of telling you that the problem is HIM and not you.
But, on the bright side, you are now free to find a guy that actually deserves you and will commit to you!
Good luck, girl :)
2007-08-15 04:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by BK 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your a great girlfriend but not really a challenge. Your probably easily pleased and easy going, a no fuss type of girl....basically your great and any man would love to have you BUT he isn't ready to appreciate that yet..he needs to be treated like a dog for a while to be able to appreciate somebody like you.
2007-08-15 04:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Preciosa, Preciosa. You have to read between the lines. Your ex-boyfriend knows how to play with you. Of course he would say what he said. Lest you throw stones at him, right? That's short of saying - he will give you the moon & stars - which of course is impossible. And you said it right - he's not capable of keeping commitments - so you don't really have to waste your time on him.
2007-08-15 04:12:56 · answer #9 · answered by noseygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't want to upset you, but this is a possibility because this happened with my close guy friend and my former roommate. He dumped her after saying things like that because he realized he was gay. I know that isn't something you really want to hear right now, but it is possible. So please don't be angry with him. Just give it some time. Hopefully he will come clean with you.
2007-08-15 04:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that he's scared...he's scared of losing you to someone else...he's scared that he might not see you again...that's probably the reason why he broke up with you...either that or he's just having second thoughts and needs some time to think about what's been going on....but if i were you...i would call him and ask him what's up...
2007-08-15 04:07:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋