My ex of 4 years dumped me for someone else ( they were texting n stuff b4 we broke up) and denies it, and she thought that if we broke up that we would be best friends she said...."it will be the same just without the physical part" she thought i would still go over and all that stuff(movies, dinner ect.) and i tried being her friend for the first 2 weeks after the break up but it was to hard after that b/c she got a new b/f( the guy she was texting) not even 1 week l8r and didn’t tell me....anyways i then realized what she had done and so i cut all contact with her b/c i think she's just stringing me along and using me for when she needs a shoulder to cry on....she was so upset about this, mad and sad, she would cry and tell her brother to tell me to talk to her but he’s on my side, cuz i wont talk to her even though she would ask me if we can talk and hang out about three times a week...and well she might also have wanted to b friends so she doesn't feel guilty? and EVERYONE that we use to hang out with ( including her best friend) says that she's changed and now nobody that we us to party with wants to b around her, anyways just wondering if i made the right choice about cutting all contact with her?
I love her so much but i believe this will be the only way for me to be able to move on ..THNAKS
2007-08-15 03:53:01 · 7 answers · asked by Nanonan m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
SORRY FOR REPOSTING...JUST WANT A FEW MORE OPINIONS...THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORT
2007-08-15 03:53:47 · update #1
She has some history with you.But she decided to go outside the relationship! It's like she's scared to leave a comfort zone,or she knows she can use you as "bed buddy or whatever "when she wants to.I ,personnally don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging around at her so much.Especially, when she's seeing someone else.Your first decision was a good one.Keep your distant from her.You deserve to start over to. Staying around her,just keeps you in "relationship limbo". Always a promise of tomorrows,and tomorrow never becoming today.Wish her well in her life.And go out there and see what wonderful things are waiting for you! Take care!
2007-08-15 04:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by need2know 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She seems to have a problem. It's common in more or less degrees in most people. Two adults have self love. Your love is inside not outside. If you look for it outside, you are needy and a drag on anyone. She hasn't found that self love and is a drag on you, as you can see and probably you on her. Not a good match. Emotionally mature people are interdependent not dependent. It goes, dependent, independent, interdependent (working together not dependent). Like you love a flower. It doesn't owe you anything and you don't ask anything. Sometimes we all lean a little, but then pay it back. Just look up emotional intelligence. Most people are about 2 or 3 emotionally. Need I say more. You see how lopsided we are. You just have to study the latest simplified teachings on emotions and you will love everything in sight and out of sight, out of mind. If you get really good at it you can fix her if she wants. Until then it's hopeless heartache by the numbers, breakups by the score. Somebody should help her. Offer to pay for counselling. It's unlikely you can get her to even if you try hard, but at least she will have a hint where she stands and things get bad enought she may relent. I still wouldn't ask a thing from her and it might be real good to suggest going into couples couseling, if she presses you for a realtionship. That will make her disappear if she's not real serious. Else she's a lost case and you might get only a couple of sessions or until it really starts to work before she's gone again. Your lucky, what if she had the runaway bride syndrome or black widow. Oo that scares me.
2007-08-15 12:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by hb12 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are feeling awfully insecure about this, and that's why you asked for more opinions. I don't see all your prior replies till after I post, so I don't know what others have told you yet.
I've been through numerous relationships and am now in my second marriage, so I've had similar events. It's really hard to let go of someone you love. I finally let go of my ex when I realized that, sometimes you just cannot live with someone even though you love them. Sometimes you have to show your love for someone by letting them go, and letting them NOT be in your life.
Since she can't be monogamous with you, she's not capable of having a serious relationship with you. Most people cannot be in an active friendship with their ex's. There are some exceptions to the rule, but you're not one.
It's interesting that all your mutual friends feel she's changed and not comfortable to be around. Sounds like she's had a personality change they are not happy with... possibly they feel she's not faithful as one should be in a relationship.
You did the right thing. I'm sure many other than me have told you this, so please learn to be at peace with the fact that no matter how much you love her, and maybe you always will, she's not someone you can have in your life.
2007-08-15 11:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing. She made the choice you should not be part of it. Sometimes the main reason you want to keep an X around is
1. you'll be hurt if you see them talking to someone else.
2. If your relationship doesn't work out you'll have them around.
3. you want them around b/c of guilt.
It's good what you've done, now take some time of enjoy yourself let the right girl find you. Don't go looking, let them find you.
2007-08-15 11:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, if she's going out with another guy in less than 1 week, she's a hoe, i mean less than 1 week?!?!?!?!
that probably means 1. She didn't like u very much and wanted to move on for at least the past month or so, also using you
2. she falls in love with people easily
I htink you should talk to her about it straight up
The truth will outlast all lies
2007-08-15 11:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by psychicran01 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on , hate her, enjoy life. Chill out with friends and try out build up new relationship. U will be very happy with whatever comes ur way.
2007-08-18 06:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by ach_mayya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
QUIT YOUR YAPPIN & WHINNING DUDE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!!!! ACCEPT IT!!!!!!!!! SHE'S GONE... NADA... ZILCH... BYE BYE... ADIOS!!!!
2007-08-15 14:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sonny O 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋