Mothers of sons...?

Question

Okay, here's the scenario... you are anti-war, and athiest....your son turns 18, and is drafted into the military, would you claim it was "against your religion" (and fake said religion...i'm guessing Quaker since it's the only one I can think of that are pacifists) for him to join so he wouldn't have to go?

My son's only 12, but the thought that the war will still be going on then terrifies me. I think about this at least once a week.

What would you do?

Answer 1

Elfkin, I have three sons, and this is something we have discussed at length. This may become long, and my apologies if it does.

In a situation such as WWI, or WWII, I would encourage my children to fight for their country. The situation was different then, and everyone's participation was required in order to assure that those who had fought and died before us had not done so in vain.

However, this current war in Iraq has nothing to do with our country and liberty being compromised, so the situation changes.

I have a 22 year-old who joined the Army right after all this bs in the Middle East began. It was a patriotic moment. He was gung-ho and I was beside myself with fear. After his enthusiasm waned, he called me, begging me to get him out of there. This was still only boot camp, mind you.

Had this been a WWII situation, I would have made him stay, but I didn't want my kid dying for Bush's idiocy. I managed to bring my son home from the Army by encouraging him to mess up everything he could in Basic, play sick on a daily basis, miss classes, talk to his CO, etc. Oh, I was an awful mom for the lies I encouraged him to tell, but I wanted him home with me.

He was discharged, and now works as an EMT in the city of Pittsburgh. He doesn't regret leaving, and I have no shame about what we did.

I have 2 younger sons also, 15 and 12. The 12 year-old has a heart murmur so I don't worry about him should the draft be reinstated. However, should my 15 year-old ever have to go, I would take my children and flee to Canada. I'm not kidding. Like I said, it's one thing to sacrifice your life for a noble cause--the good of the many. But this in Iraq is far from noble and my children aren't going to die for it.

Should you find yourself having to go to any means to keep your son home, if this is what both of you want, then do what needs to be done, and don't give a second thought to it.

Answer 2

Mothers and Sons: The Truth About Mother-Son Realtionships by Babette Smith Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Raising the Next Generation of Men by Ann F. Caron Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlan Between Mothers and Sons: Women Writers Talk About Having Sons and Raising Men by Patricia Stevens Mother to Son: Shared Wisdom From the Heart by Melissa Harrison Mothers and Sons by Madeline L'Engle Why a Son Needs A Mom: 100 Reasons by Gregory E. Lang Mothers and Sons: In Their Own Words by Marianne Ruth Cook Chicken Soup for the Mother and Sons Soul: Stories to Celebrate the Lifelong Bond by Jack Canfield

Answer 3

I have twin boys. No mother wants to see their children in harms way, however, when the time comes if there is a draft or whether they choose to join the military on their own, I will have to let them go. I will not fake a religion or hide them in the attic or shoot them in the foot. I will let them proudly serve our country just as my father did and many more will do.

I have to say I'm am shocked that so many here would rather lie than do the right and honest thing. And these people are Americans,it 's a disgrace. Thanks to all who have served and are serving!

Answer 4

I've researched it. It's very difficult to "fake" a religion. They research all claims, thoroughly.

You can just as easily be a non-religious concientious objector. What you need to do is to document his belief. They will look. How you do that is by saving ANY school work in which he writes about war being wrong. Also, any time he speaks out in class about war being wrong. (They interview teachers about this)

Another option, that my daughter and I have discussed...she wouldn't have the slightest problem lying (and she's a VERY honest person) and simply telling the recruiter she's gay. It's a simple solution and a nice little "gotcha" to their homophobic stance about gays in the military :)

I used to worry about my kids too. Here is something from moveon that might help http://www.moveon.org/moveonbulletin/bulletin6.html

Answer 5

Terrifying as it may be to me, I would not prevent my sons or daughters from fighting in a war. I'd be pretty angry if my child was killed in a war, but I'd also be proud that my child fought for his/her country.

Even though I disagree with the current war's original premise, we're in it. I would rather my child go to Iraq and try to help the rebuilding process than sit at home and complain that we shouldn't be in the war in the first place. One does far more good than the other.

My future husband was a Marine. His dad was a Navy officer and was stationed in Korea for some time. My dad just retired from the police force. I would be honored if my child served his/her country just like my family and my husband and his family did.

Answer 6

I say it in a different way. When the War started in Europe I couldn't wait to get in the service. I joined the infantry. They're the foot soldiers who do the actual fighting. Through joining the service, I spent three years on the island of Hawaii, I served on Christmas Island, fought in France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Germany, Austria, and Czechoslovakia.
I wouldn't trade my army experience and memories for a million bucks.
Right now, a person has a fifty times better chance of being killed in an automobile accident here in the US than than by enemy action in Iraq.

Answer 7

While its his choice by the age of 18 I have some serious issues with a draft and would support his choice either way.

Answer 8

If he is 18 then it is his problem to deal with.

Sure, if he wants your help to get out of it and you feel like giving it then do something crazy like claim him to be a Quaker or whatnot..... but if he isn't specifically asking for your help then it is his responsibility to deal with the situation as he sees fit.

All you could do is try to make the most of the situation, and do try not to manipulate his life against his will.

Answer 9

My son is 19 and it scares the crap out of me. In the end, as much as I hate it, I would have him go. His father, both grandfathers, and a great grandfather were all VFW. I think I would rather he follow in the traditions of his father's family and join the Navy.

That is why I support peace and will vote that way in the coming election.

Answer 10

I would not claim to be any type of religion that was not mine, but if my son was drafted and wanted to move to Canada I'd pack the SUV and off we would go!