I rededicated my life to Christ, and I told my fiance that I don't want to have sex until we marry. He thinks I'm lying, and is very upset with me. He told me it's bulls*** and really is bringing my spirits down. What should I do? Should I follow what I know GOD wants me to do, or give in to my fiance and his needs? Please help, the devil is trying really testing my faith right now!
2007-08-15 03:29:59 · 35 answers · asked by Whonosbest 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Look, you're doing the right thing. Not even necessarily because of the Christian thing, but because that is YOUR conviction. If you feel like that's what God wants you to do, then if the guy loves you he'll understand and respect your conviction. Now, if he CAN'T accept it as your decision and your conscience and what's right for YOU, then trust me, this will not be the last time he tries to undermine your moral standards.
You take your conviction and you hold on to it. Don't listen to these people who tell you to do whatever your fiance wants, not if he's asking you to abandon your conviction.
These are people who want everybody to do what they want and to make their own decisions and live free of a subjective moral code UNTIL somebody says something that is in conflict with their beliefs (if you can really call them "beliefs"). Then they call you selfish or outdated.
There's nothing wrong with having convictions and sticking to them. More people need to be like you.
2007-08-15 03:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by Shane 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's great that you've rededicated your life to Christ. God should be #1 in your life. If your fiance` is also a Christian, he should understand that. If he's not a Christian (which I'm guessing to be the fact based on his reaction) then of course, he'll be mad.
(Assuming he is not Christian) First, I would say if he loves you, he should respect your decision and your beliefs. Secondly, if you're already conflicted now, have you thought about if you two will really be able to agree on other important decisions after your married (Will he get mad when you go to church? Could you two now have different priorities in regards to how you spend your time and/or money? How will you raise your children?).
(Obviously those on here who don't know God can't understand what you're going through.) The best thing you can do is pray to God for wisdom to make the right decisions and strength to stand up for what you believe in. Feel free to e-mail me if you would like to talk. God bless.
2007-08-15 04:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by kaz716 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Guapacita :
You deserve a lot of credit for standing up for your ' new ' beliefs .
You' ve got your life on the right track .
And , " Yes ! You' re right . " The Devil attacks new Christians right away , trying to make us think we' ve made a wrong decision for Christ .
I heard a preacher say , " The marriage bed is undefiled . " .... meaning sex in marriage is sin-free .
You' re gonna be tested now and you' ll be tested again .... it' s a war .
Since this man is your fiance , then , isn' t marriage just around the corner for you ? .... can' t he wait a short while ?
The best plan of attack is to ask him if he would accept the same gift of salvation that you have . The strongest marriages I' ve ever seen have been Christian marriages !
God bless both of you !
2007-08-15 03:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Bright Bulb 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself, does he love you, or does he love sex?
From the sound of it, he has very little respect for your needs, and is only interested in his own "desires."
Try asking him if he truly loves you. If he says yes, then ask him why he has such a problem with your convictions in this regard.
Frankly, any man who insists on sex outside of marriage proves by this action that he does not love the woman. A person who loves another would not do anything that could cause harm to the other; physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Perhaps you are being given a glimpse into the real man here by his actions; the fruits that are being born as a result of your decision.
Take a look at Galatians 5:19 and compare his actions to verse 22.
And don't call his sex drive a "need." He won't die without sex.
.
2007-08-15 04:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Hogie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Julia Sugarbaker answer is best. Another YA! user above. However, this also depends on his take on religion? I think religion can tear apart a relationship, unless of course both parties agree upon the same beliefs, etc. My bf is Christian, and I am more spiritual. If he came to me and said he wanted to hold off until we're married, then I'd respect that. I know he'd do the same. If he loves you he'll respect you. But he's your fiance, you are getting married anyway. Ask yourself is that what "you know" God wants you to do? Or is that what you're Church says God wants you to do? Go with what your heart is telling you, not what your church is telling you.
2007-08-15 03:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit dow and have a talk with him. Explain to him that you are serious. Ask him a few things to see if you can get him to see things from your perspective. For example, ask him if he has ever had a feeling that something is just right. It could be anything. Like going to a friends' house or anything like that. It's just something that felt right. You felt good about doing it. Everyone has probably had an experience like that. Find an example in your life that doesn't have to do with this matter and talk to him about it. Next, ask him if he's ever had a feeling that something is just wrong. Again, talk to him to see how he reacts and what he says has happened to him. Then, explain that you have those feelings now. You feel that it is just the right thing to do to stop having sex. Then, tell him that this is something that you believe God is asking you to do. Remind him that if he does love you, then he will respect you in this matter. Do not give in to him. Your relationship with God is priceless.
PS I've been through this. If you want to talk, you can email me through yahoo answers.
2007-08-15 03:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
In the eyes of your God, marriage is a spiritual thing. He doesn't care if your modern government says that you are married or not.
Many Catholics I know would say that you aren't married until you are married in a Catholic church, but this was pushed by the Roman Catholic church so they would have power and control. The Bible doesn't say that you have to be married in a Roman Catholic church.
So, judging from the fact that you are going to marry him and you have already had sex, I would say that you are already spiritually married to each other. In fact, sexual intercourse is one way to connect spiritually in a committed life long relationship. Following the earthly teachings of a man-made organization--yes, the church--just might put a wedge between you two spiritually.
My advice is to continue what you've started. The important thing is to be loyal to each other.
Of course, most of the literalist type on here won't agree with me. But that's my opinion, for what it's worth.
2007-08-15 03:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by silverlock1974 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You need to decide who you want to please, God or your fiance.
Now let me ask you this, is your fiance a Christian? Are you sure? If he isn't then you may want to reconsider your marriage to him altogether. God said to not marry anyone unless they area also a Christian.
Hebrews 13: 4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
2 corinth 6:
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
†
2007-08-15 03:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jeanmarie 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
If he truly loves you, he will respect your wishes and beliefs. I think it's great that you are rededicating your life to Christ and your fiance should also. It sounds like he is being selfish. Maybe it's a good thing you are finding this out now. No matter who is in your life, you have to be true to yourself and God (if that is your belief).
God Bless.
2007-08-15 03:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well I'm not sure where your spiritual expertise lies. But if you're hearing voices telling you what to do, I can garauntee that's not some god but an onset of schizophorenea. Your man also is not the devil and I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday and believe what you just asked on here
If your faith means more to you than another human being then get rid of him and goto church. You'll do more good there than as a member of society.
2007-08-15 03:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋