Should you forgive someone if they haven't apologized?

Question

Why?

Answer 1

yes. For your own peace. Holding on to anger and resentment is physically, emotionally and spiritually harmful to oneself.

Answer 2

You can be angry and caught up in all kinds of bitterness for some injustice that has been done to you by another person and the only person its affecting is you. They don't feel it. I hated on someone for a few years because I felt they did something to me that sent my life flying off into a direction I didn't want to go...in the end though 2 things occurred to me...am I that upset that I am where I am today and after all this time, how much thought has that person invested in me all these years. Do they think of me at all? More than likely they don't even acknowledge that they did me wrong. Why should this person and the thing they did or caused have precident over what is most important to me? Why should I make room for them and crowd all the good thoughts and memories out...cuz that is what hate, anger, resentment does. I've seen other people eaten up with it. They remain victems their whole lives. Perhaps I've overstated too much in this answer but I just wanted to emphasize that forgiveness is freeing. If God can let go and toss away all that we do and say every minute of everyday and see us as the pure, sweet innocent children He created us to be.. shouldn't we look upon our ex-friends, ex-bosses, ex-spouses and ex-neighbors or whoever as simply being a child that has grown to somehow loose their way and for whatever selfish reason either oblivousely and thoughtlessly or stratigically and purposefully hurt another. Forgiveness takes us one more step from every being like that...cuz we know what it feels like. Jesus does too...and His mercies are new every morning as He forgives us we should forgive also. That means everybuddy. Love in Christ, ~J~ P.S. Forgiveness doesn't mean trusting the person again necessarily or allowing them access back into your life...unless they come to you and appologize and are sincere about it..then its up to you to give them that chance as many times as you would like...perhaps even 70 times 7.

Answer 3

In some ways forgiveness has to do with you and nothing to do with the other person. It's not forgetting. It is not the same as reconciliation.
Forgiveness is a choice we make to release someone from the debt they owe us and continue making that choice until you are able to wish them well. One Psychologist that has done a lot of work in the area of forgiveness named Enright has written a book called, "Forgiveness is a choice." It's a great book. But, a lot of research has been done in the area of forgiveness and research shows that it's a healthy thing to do. It has to do with you and you're feelings about life and not as much to do with the other person. It's a choice you make about your feelings towards the other person. It's like the issues is a sentence and you choose to put a period on it within yourself. It's a choice that eventually your feelings will catch up with you. It's tough and it's also a process. It takes time. You choose to forgive and release the individual, but you will still feel angry. It will take time, you need to work on it.

Now, the choice to reconcile with the person is a totally separate issue. You can decide to do that, but not as part of forgiveness. If someone will hurt you again, it may not be wise to reconcile.

Forgiveness is never forgetting. That's bull crap!

Answer 4

Depends.

The concept of forgiveness is a weird one. It paints your feelings towards another as either black or white, forgiven or not. In reality, most people's relationships with other people are more complex than that. There are usually many things you like and dislike about any one person. There will be things you'll always wish they didn't do and things you admire a person for doing, and everything inbetween.

Instead of focusing on whether you've "forgiven" someone, try to just look at the whole person. Admit your feelings, positive and negative, about the person, and realize that they are just human. People change over time, and you might find that you now like a person you didn't before, whether or not they apologized for anything.

Also, look at your relationship with the other person and honestly evaluate whether it is really worth your energy to obsess about the things you don't like. For example, you might find it more worthwhile to address faults in your spouse and work it out. Communication there is the key. However, if you don't like a store clerk, so what? You can move on. It all depends on the relationship to you.

Answer 5

Yes you can forgive someone even in they don't apologize. Forgiveness is for your own heart NOT for the other person. However taking it a step further, forgetting is another thing and trust is yet another. Can you forgive and not trust that it won't happen again? Yes, because forgiveness comes from inside you. Trust comes from them and their true or false actions.

Answer 6

We should always forgive. Having received an apology or not and this is because we are needed to do so by our Lord. Did we apologize to God for him to send christ unto us? NO!! He only loved us while we were still sinners and send his son to come and die for us. And Jesus tells us that we cannot receive forgiveness unless we can forgive. It also doesn't matter how many time we should do it, forgiving is limitless as we keep on sinning to God who is merciful to always forgive us.

Answer 7

This is the very difficult question. Forgive or not to forgive. It is not so difficult in unimportant questions. When I began to believe I did not understand how to forgive and now I can't say that I can do it perfectly well. I asked God: " teach me how to forgive ". The trick is that it is always difficult to forgive especially when people don't understand that they are doing evil or don't what to apologize. If they want to hear you try to explain them respectfully that they are mistaken. If they don't want to hear step aside and wait. Give it time to calm down in your soul and ask God to help you. Sometimes very difficult to forgive if we have ambitions, pretensions or count ourselves more important or deserve better life. Certainly it will not help us. Forgive and you will be forgiven. It is the truth of God.

Answer 8

Yes. You literally only hurt yourself. You may not know it, but holding that grudge against them and keeping that in your mind can make you physically ill. They are also having control over your emotions. It's better to be at peace, even when somebody is offensive. That doens't mean to allow it into your life or let everyone do what they want no matter what. It means forgive them, and move on. It hurts you more than it does them. I learned this the hard way.

Answer 9

You should forgive in the absence of repentence for your own well being. Holding onto ill will for another is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

However, from a strictly Biblical perspective you are not required to forgive anyone who does not ask for forgiveness.

Lack of forgiveness is the single worst underlying issue within the body of Christ -- and one for which many of us (including myself) will be called upon to account for at the white throne.

Answer 10

I guess it is about understanding why something was done rather than what was done. I'm an atheist, however I'll refer to the bible on this one and say that allegedly Jesus did that when he was crucified - "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." If it were true, then it is an amazing act of selflessness and he is meant to be the person that Christians are inspired by, the model for how to live their lives.

Answer 11

There are plenty of scriptual reasons why you should forgive, but what I have grown to understand is that the act of forgiveness is healing to yourself. What ever that person did, you allowed him or her to offend and hurt you. The best way to get beyond that hurt is to forgive and move forward in your walk.