Am i just being used...?? Male and female opinions please!!?

Question

Please take the time to read the following....

This girl from work and i were seeing each other when she broke up from her bf a while ago and i kinda see now that i was the rebound guy, although she said she had fancied me since she has known me (like nearly 2 years). she said it was too soon and she needed time.

I was pretty persistent up until that point when i just left her alone. when we finally went back to work a couple of weeks later she said she was havin 2nd thoughts cos and she felt really good seein me again and still fancies me.
she said u didnt know how much u want something til its not there anymore.

do you think this is for real or she is serious after having some time to herself?
thanks in advance hm

Answer 1

You are not being used, she still doesnt know who she wants.... she is still on the rebound.... wait for awhile yet......... give her a couple of more months........ then see if she is still interested.....

Answer 2

No, by what I'm reading, you're not. (don't know all the facts of course)

As one guy to another, it is an unfortunate fact of life that many women are more interested when you are not, then when you are. It sounds like you leaving her alone for a while looked like you were playing 'hard to get'. This can be attractive to women. I think that if you hadn't left her alone, she wouldn't be half as interested as she is now.

Consider this: do any of your mates that have gf's ever remark that they have more interest from women now then when they were single? It is the same thing. Many want what they can't have.

Keep her wondering for a while about whether you are still interested in her after this. Don't jump her now that she's displaying an interest again. Play it smart: tell her that you don't want to be the rebound guy and that she has to make up her mind about what she wants. Especially since you are not a plaything for her distraction (don't use these exact words). You don't want to have this '2nd thoughts' conversation every couple of months. Don't be afraid that being to the point will ruin your chances. In fact, being open about what you want and putting her straight will make you look like a strong guy that knows what he wants. I.e. she'll likely fancy you more because of it (but be careful: don't be blunt with her unless she is with you!).

Good luck

Answer 3

It doesn't sound as if you are being used but lay down some ground rules for yourself. Tell her that you are still interested in her but don't want to be in the same position in a few weeks time. You could either ask her to wait and see if she feels the same after a period of time or say that you would like to take it slowly. Either way I do think you should talk to her about your concerns. Sometimes when we have been hurt (as she has) it is easy to forget that others have feelings too - let her know you do.

Answer 4

Coming out of a relationship and moving into another relationship normally isn't the best thing. I think people need time to work through the previous relationship before they get into another one. She probably does like you but is still conflicted about her break up. You should give her some time to work through the feelings she is having now. If you are meant to be a couple, it will work out.

Answer 5

Well, you sound as if you are keen on her and maybe now that she's had time to think things over she is up for a date or two? Play it be ear and go far a couple of dates just see how it goes? Just don't come over all heavy and desperate as that can be off putting. Play it cool when you are out with her.

Answer 6

could go either way .. and no offense to all women, but a fair number dont seem to have a clue what they want at the best of times, and chances of her being too clear at that point is not really certain.

she may well really think she is certain - but as thngs calm emotionally for her change her mind.

she may have had a thing for you for time and never shown it - and just wanted her emotions to calm a bit before going for it and thus be a really certain.

god knows - you want to know how to be sure - go for it, try it - take her at her word and see where it goes - there is no other way to be certain.

Answer 7

Its sort of a hard one to judge because everyone deals with breakups differently.
I think she does sound as though she likes you, but just didn't want to rush into anything incase she was on the rebound.
She will probably still need some time to deal with things and would want to take your relationship slow.
Good luck I hope it works out.

Answer 8

It does sound like she is for real. However, i believe the only person who can answer that question for sure is that girl herself =)

You both need to sit down all comfy with a cuppa hot tea and really talk things through. Like everyone else who reads your question, we're all afraid to get hurt too. And with that, i do also understand that emotional injuries somewhat take the longest to heal. Try to explain to her why you're feeling the way you are.. and also why you have reservations about getting together.

one question to ask yourself though:-
honestly. what are your true feelings for her?

Answer 9

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Answer 10

give a chance man.i think she's serious about it.if she had to use you then she wouldn't say those words and wouldn't want to be with you ..we girls don't like to joke around about relationship we take it seriously and it does feel like that when especially she have just broke up with her b.f and said she needs time..i think its better that she told you now and if she said before than she wouldn't know how important you were to her.in the gone weeks she realize that you were important to her so..that why..good luck

Answer 11

I think she is playing with your head. She probably thought you would alwasy be there and when you left her alone she realised that you werent going to hanbg around for her.Go along with her and play it by ear. Dont let her make a fool of you.