Will this work out?

Question

We’ve been married for a year. Recently my husband was charged by the police for shoving me during an argument. We separated as a result.

At the court hearing, he was found not guilty. But the magistrate placed him under a restraining order.

This marriage was pretty much over. We weren’t in contact at all.

Recently, he called saying he really misses me. But he was very hurt by this whole thing so he was staying away. I was so happy to hear from him, and told him I loved him.

What are the chances of this getting better?

PS: Our families are advising us to move on instead after this ordeal at court.

Answer 1

you can try marriage counseling to see if that helps.
if all he did was shove you and never showed signs of violence before or after it might be that he just got over emotional and carried away.
therapy can help him and your marriage if you both want it to work

too many ppl get married and divorced like it's nothing important anymore.
i vote try counseling and see how that goes
start from scratch... dating and reconnecting

Answer 2

Interesting that you ask this question in the Law Enforcement and Police section.

It has been my experience with Domestic Violence that unless some serious counseling takes place, the abuse continues. And it gets worse. You were only married a year and already he is shoving you?? Most folks wait longer than that to just kick the dog.

I suspect the restraining order forbids him to contact you; yet he did anyway. So much for his respect for the law.

Abusers thrive on manipulation and control. He misses you? or he misses controlling you. He misses you? or he is manipulating you into returning to his clutches.

There are decent men out there who don't shove, hit, yell, or curse their wives. Go find one of them, honey.

Good luck.

Answer 3

From all of the info I have either read, or seen, or saw reports
of crimes on TV about this subject, you're safer and better off
moving on. Men that physically abuse a woman, will repeat
their actions over again. And according to info, even worse
the next time, just because they got away with it the last time.
They often start out with verbal abuse, criticizing and trying to
make you feel like you are worth nothing to build up their egos' and feelings of power over you. They want to control
you thru fear, in doing what they want you to do. It's a no win
situation. Once caught, they will cry, and beg for another
chance. And maybe they can't even help themselves. But
they do need help to set themselves straight mentally. You
need to bridge a wide gap and get on with your life. Your
safety depends on it.

Answer 4

Classic cycle of abuse. If you get back with this guy things will be great for a while. He'll buy you flowers, call you sweat heart, etc. Then things will start building up. He'll get irritable, call you names, and eventually assault you again (probably worse then last time). After that he'll tell you he is sorry, he can change, he loves, blah, blah, blah. Then if you take him back things will be great for a while. He'll buy you flowers, call you sweat heart. Do you see a pattern here?

There are plenty of people out there. Find one that can talk to you without shoving you. If you do get back with this guy do not have kids with him. That'll just make it worse.

Answer 5

Just opinion here:

I would move on and find a new man, or woman, if I were you. His outburst then may have just been the tip of the iceberg. DV escalates, and quickly sometimes. A push leads to a slashed throat after a little bit. No amount of violence belongs in a relationship that is supposed to be based on love.

Answer 6

If he gets help with his violence tell him your might consider going back and also see a councillor to find out where the problem lye's with his violence because if he isn't prepared to get help it will just happen over and over and your family will be tied of this and maybe not there for you if it gets worst and you go back for more, so if you love him and his willing to get help maybe there could be a chance and with your families blessing.And you can get the restraining order lifted.But only consider this after he gets help.

Answer 7

U shouldn't take abuse. If he won't touch u again, and ur positive give it a twirl, if not I would stay clear, because some ppl r crazy!

Answer 8

I'd give it another shot but you gotta remember that he crossed the line and once you've crossed the line it is so easy to do it again.

Answer 9

Don't let the temptation pull you back...
This guy is big trouble and you know it.

You can love him AND not be able to live with him.

Please don't bring any kids into this volitile situation.

If you need more discouragement, please call Dr. Laura Schlesinger. drlarua.com

Answer 10

If it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not, it won't. You don't need Yahoo Answers to tell you what to do or to sway you in one direction or the other. Your heart tells you what you want to do. If I can read into you.....go get him.