I am 15 and I want to enter a long-term/serious relationship with a 23 year old, is it a good idea?

Question

So I like this guy and he is looking to be in a long-term/serious relationship and, I would like the comfort of a serious relationship myself, but I don't know if it's a good idea because he is 23 and that is an 8 year difference, not to mention the fact that we live about 8 hours from each other now with him going to university to finish his degree, so i was just wondering if anyone ha any opinions and ways to keep a long distance relationship alive, between two people with an 8 year age difference.

There is a couple things i have to say, like my mom did when she was 16 and dated my dad who was 23, i have not informed this person, that i am 15, he i under the influence that i am older (18) i realise this is lieing but i was planning on telling him later on, and in my mind my mom has no right to press charges against him when she her self dated a 23yo when she was 16, and had me, so there is another big difference there is i cannot exactly get pregnant, consedering the small problem that is me lacking the needed organs ( in other word it is a gay relationship), and I live in canada, so i don't know if the laws are that much different.

Answer 1

even tho its kinda illegal ....as long as u dont have se then i guess its ok.......if its tru love then y wud u let anything like a number come in beetween u and if its not tru love then y not just wait for a guy thats around year age that u like and not have to worry about anything but i guess u wont know ifs tru love or not until u give him a chance and find out if hes serious about things like ask him questions like how much wud u be willing to spend on a wedding ring if he says something like watever makes u happy or watever i can then he mite be serious and this guy seems pretty serious to me since hes older bcuz most guys wud be lookin for an older woman to show off and most guys are embarrased to walk around with a younger girl but this guy is looking passed that so ur choice is either wait for a guy in age range or give this one a shot
if u were willing to look passed him being older y cant he look passed u bein younger?
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sum things to keep in mind wud be

- wud i be happy in a long ter relationship?
-how wud i tell him that im 15?
- wud my parents approve?
- how long cud this last
- does he actually like me

Answer 2

No. the age difference is too great, especially between a 15 year old and a 23 year old. He has to be a little weird to be going after young boys. Honestly he's a pedophile and that never works out good for the kids they molest and take advantage of. He probably has a van and a puppy too to use as bait. Isnt that illegal in a some states? IMO this is or could be a relationship where you find yourself exploited and hurt. Dump him now ! Find friends closer to your own age. Is this an internet thing?

Answer 3

no, in my opinion, i think this is not a very good idea. mostly based on the fact of his age and the status that you guys are at now. the big age gap will cause some problems in the way you guys communicate and also the long distance relationship can cause many problems. ive been in 2 before and it is not very pleasant. the keyword there is BEEN in two before. :) especially that he is 23 and being far away from you can cause him to easily stray away to other girls. maybe when u are older like ur 22 and he is 30 then that option of thinking about a serious relationship with that kinda person is ok. but not when ur 15.

i dont think your parents will be too pleased about that as well, but which parent are happy when a 15 yr old get steady? most parents will be unhappy, but given ur situation, ur parents will be furiously upset. =x

Answer 4

This would be a terrible mistake for you to make young lady. You are much to young to be in a serious relationship with anyone. Especially some one as old as the person that you are speaking of . It's a crime. And its a crime for reasons that you can't understand at this point in your young life. I know that I probably sound like your mother but guess what ? I'm not , I'm a perfect stranger who knows that the only person that can lose in this situation is you. Look, be for you get in over your head, do me a favor, find someone you trust , an older person and tell them about this matter and then follow their advice. This guy means you harm but don't expect him to tell you that.

Answer 5

ok i can understand why you want a stable relationship, but seriously take it from me, don't try this!

8 years is massive, when you were 10 in yr 5, he was OUT OF SCHOOL! that's is not right, plus any guy that goes out with a girl that much younger is after one thing-sex.

If you sleep with him, he can be put up for rape, plus, the more serious side, if he's 8 years older then you won't be able to 'put the breaks on him' and he could actaully end up sexually abusing/harassing you.

Plus, a LONG-DISTANCE relationship? That's not a serious relationship, that's a kid's thing, you won't be satisfied and neither will he.

While your wishing that he lived closer, he's probobly sleeping with a 21 yo that he picked up from a club.

DON'T DO IT

Answer 6

I think the distance will put a barrior on the relationship. I too am interested in an older guy (he's 21 and I'm 16) so to me the age difference is nothing.

People make a big deal about age difference...which is F***ing dumb because when you're 20 and he's 28...nobody will care.

I say go for it if he wants it too!!

good luck :))

Answer 7

You're too young to be dating someone of an 8 year difference. 15 years old is too young to be in a serious relationship, and not to hurt your feelings but you still need alot of growing up and maturing to do. I don't disagree with large age gap relationships. My b/f is 32 and I"m 20, but I had to wait a long time before I wanted a serious relationship with someone I really liked who was much older than me.

I'd suggest sticking with someone closer to your age until you're at least 18. Not only would it be statutory rape if you two ever had sex, but you're just too young still.

Answer 8

well i think 8 yrs wouldnt be so bad if you were 20 and he was 28. But just the fact that youre underage, i wouldnt suggest it at all! You can get him in trouble even if you care about him. Someone might find it disturbing and he can be charged. So i think for now, try dating someone closer to your age range. Later you can probably date older guys but wait till youre 18 at least. And since he lives so far away from you, you never know if he's seeing other girls. I'm sure you trust him and all, but you just never know. YOu might be really faithful, but he might be playing mind games with you. So i wouldnt recommend it. a few yrs ago one of my friends was 16 and dated my best friend [he was 22 at the time] and her grandma found out and he was charged and taken to court even when she defended him. So i dont think you want to go through all of that.

Answer 9

I'm glad you're considering this instead of diving in headfirst. There are lots of ways to spend your time, and you seem to be aware of that.

Unfortunately, at fifteen, you need all your energy, focus, and lifeforce for the task of growing up. This means making and maintaining friendships, getting the most from your schoolwork so you can use it for your future, participating in sports and other activities that will help you develop into a well-rounded person able to function in our fast paced, multifaceted society.

Dedicating your attention to a man, any man, at such a young age sounds like a throwback to 200 years ago or some Third-World small farmer society.

Answer 10

No, he is way too old for you, its called statutory rape. Plus a 23 yo away at college is not going to be faithful especially to a 15yo. Most likely he told you this because its what you want to hear, and he knows you're foolish enough to stay faithful while he goes and has his fun. Focus on your education, you'll have plenty of time for serious relationships in the future. Right now you're too naive and inexperienced, and will definitely get played.