My dad doesn't support me?

Question

I have a strong desire and passion to serve this country (If you're going to talk me out of it, don't post an answer) but my dad doesn't approve. He says I'll lose all my morals and values, but I don't see it that way. His opinion means the world to me, and I don't want to hurt him by disobeying, but everytime a good war movie or something on the news comes up, I get this gut feeling I should be with those "brothers and sisters" in arms. If I went into the military I'd probably be an MP or a Medic. I want to talk to recruiters, and try and get them to talk to my dad, but I don't want to disappoint him. Any thoughts?

Also, I am 18, but I happen to be Mormon (hence the values).

Answer 1

I remember my father feeling some of the same way, though he new the military breeds strength, courage, respect, and even a little wisdom. He was more against it because of the fact if you do join. The army owns u until they are done. My father enlisted in Vietnam and i think what he saw also affected him. He also did not want me to die. I remember when i told him i was going to join, it was the first golf war i was 17 trying to get daddy's permission to join, just like he did when he was 17. It took some time but he came around. Then uncle sam said we don't take people with cancer and they turned me down. I was the first one in my family to not enlist and serve in like 200 years. at least my little brother joined up for this gulf war. go man follow your heart, try and find out why your dad thinks so little of are country then maybe u guys can come together. the way u speak of him, he sounds like a good father who will listen. thats all u need.

Answer 2

As a parent he is worried about your safety since we are in a time of war. As a vet I know your desire to serve. All I can tell you is that the military was the greatest experiance of my life. Now that I am out and going to school again, I am amazed at how immature the kids are here that are the same age as the kids I supervised in the military. I would just have a sit down talk and tell him your desires and why you feel it is a good decision. Then if he isn't convinced and after listening to him you are still sure the military is the right choice. Well, I understand the religious conviction and the honoring thy mother and father but at some point you have to make your own decisions and honoring your parents doesnt necessarilly mean doing whatever they want.

Answer 3

My father spent 12 years in the military, and got out. When I was 18 I wanted to join and my father discouraged it and told me none of his kids should ever join the military. I went to college and earned my degree and then decided to join the military against my father's wishes. It was a good choice - I didn't lose my morals or values, the military just strengthen what I had been taught by my parents. My father eventually turned around and accepted my decision and is very proud of me. He now says the military would have been the best choice for my brother. If you want to join, explore the options, talk with a recruiter and get the information you need to make a well informed thought out decision. A medic is a good choice- I went the medic route

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your predicament. I do understand; my husband went through the same thing. He was so excited when he enlisted and instead of congratulating him his father (who retired out of the Military) told him; "You're going to regret it...you just made the worst mistake of your life." But, it's been 9 years now and he has made a GREAT career of the Army and is really proud of himself and his accomplishments. His family eventually came around and they finally "get" that this is something he's really passionate about and something he's really good at. It gives him a lot of pride to be able to do what he does. You need to do what's right for you and your future. Your parents will come around; even if they don't initially support your decision. Make sure you do plenty of research and have your facts straight so you can show your dad that you really have put a lot of thought and effort into your plans for the future. Tell him it would mean a lot to have his approval and support. Have your recruiter sit down with your dad and maybe he can alleviate some of his fears or questions and your dad would feel better about giving you his support.

Answer 5

How old are you? If you are out of school you can do what you feel like doing. Your father is trying to protect you. You will not lose your morals and values. The military is a place to learn morals and appreciate this country and what it costs to keep it free. You can talk to some military people and understand that this is a serious step.

Answer 6

I felt the same way however to be honest it has been the biggest disappointment in my life, war movies are exactly that MOVIES. meanwhile back in reality military is completley diff. it's full of people with no honor a job like any other you wanna serve your country yet I doubt you have volunteered everyweek somewhere helping out. If you have you should seriously think about going reserve many of my friends love it. it's a great mix of serving time yet not devoting 100% of your life. perhaps that might be a way for you to make a compromise with your father. Please get your degree before you join if you want to go active duty or perhaps going for the pilot program in the army you become a helicopter pilot which makes you a warrant officer. I think it's an army program. careful with recruiters they say what they must to get you in that's their job they have quotas just like car salesmen not bad people however they can't guarantee it will be what your hoping for out of it one thing I see a lot of young ones do is they join cuz it looks cool in movies please don't join cuz of that at least have a better reason before you do.

Answer 7

Talk to the recruiter, have him/her come and talk to your parents WITH YOU THERE!!!! You are 18, and the decision to join is yours. The recruiter will explain the different programs to your parents and answer their questions.

I understand that your father's opinion means a lot to you (I'm 41 and my dad's opinion means just as much now as it did when I joined the Army in '84), but you have to make your own choices and your own life. Your dad will be proud of you. Maybe not for your choice of employment, but of your decision to be an adult. I'm sorry to say this, but your dad will probably never agree with your decision, but he will be proud of you for standing up and completing what you started.

Oh, by the way, don't let anyone tell you that there are no Mormons in the military. They are few and far between, but they are there. I have served with them.

Answer 8

I'm amazed. The members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are stalwarts when it comes to serving our nation. May I suggest something? Instead of talking to a recruiter and have him try to talk to your dad, contact your Stake Bishop and see if he can talk to him. You might want to mention to your father that Chapel #2 at the Marine Corps Base in Camp Hansen, Okinawa is a Stake Church. That shows me that the Marines and the Mormon faith are not incompatible.

Answer 9

Plenty of Mormons in the military. as an adult, you are free to make your own decisions, and if he raised you right, you will make the correct ones for yourself. he should be proud that you want to serve your country.

Perhaps find a local reserve Unit and ask to speak with the Chaplain. maybe the Chaplain can speak to your dad or better yet, put him in contact with a Mormon one.

Answer 10

He is just probably worried for you with whats going on in the world today. But if you do go it will (deep down) make him proud to see his son become a man. I went through the same thing before i joined but my family totaly supports what I do now. Good luck.