Should I invite these friends to my wedding?

Question

I used to be friends with a couple of sisters who I met in high school and became closer to afterwards, but over the last 1.5 years, I have last all contact with the older sister and the younger one (both are around my age) has not responded to my emails. I don't harrass her, but a month ago I let her know I was engaged and wanted to catch up.
When I called the workplace of the oldest one, I was told that she no longer worked there :( I pretty much don't even know if she's alive!
The younger sister won't email me back at all. I sometimes think to stop by her parents house (the oldest one still lives there) but her dad doesn't like me much and her parents don't speak much english either. I don't want to cause drama.
I feel like I've exhausted all options in attempting to contact them, I don't even know if we're friends anymore. In fact, I'm not even sure they still LIVE where they used to anymore! What should I do? Should I keep trying or let things be?

I wanted to mention that the oldest has placed her family as her top priority and pretty much supports the family, along with another sister. I understand that she can't hang out much, but I never get a phone call, an email, nothing.

The other friend lives on her own so she isn't quite as burdened as her sister, but whenever I try to include her in my life, she never responds. I used to be really good friends with BOTH of them but over the last year it's as if they don't even exist anymore-- either that, or I don't. I just wanted to share a happy occasion with them, but if they can't even respond with a simple email once a month of just a phone call (they have both of mine) should I bother inviting them to my wedding anymore?

I would consider driving by their house, however their dad is VERY paranoid and suffers from war refugee PTSD. The reason I said I don't want to cause drama is because if he were to see me drive by, he usually gets out of the house and screams in their native language and then his kids (my friend and her sibs) get the rest of it :(

I once sent them a card for a holiday with my number in it, but I never heard back from them either.

Answer 1

Same boat as you are.

However, I deleted those out of my life. Very interesting is, I came to realize I was doing all the work. Once I stop calling, I stop emailing and I stop taking them places/treating them to things, that was it!

Very interesting to stand back and realize, they are not your friends.

I made a list of people and I put two colums. One one side, it was "things they do to be friends". the other "Things they do to not be friends". The "things they do to not be friends" outweighed the other side majorly with certain names. Those where the first to be out of my life.

These girls don't want to be friends. If they did, they would of contacted you. I am not saying that in a mean way. Just saying you can find better people to be consider friends.

They know how to get ahold of you and easy access as they got many ways from you. They refused to. Now it is time to let things be and focus on making new friends. (Easier said than done sometimes, I know).

To try a few times is one. But you have tried many with still no luck. Time to move on hun.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you're not getting any responses. You have done so much to contact them and I feel that everything you have done is correct. It's also respectable that you are keeping the welfare of their family at heart by not driving by their home.
Send them another letter, but make it one where the person needs to sign for it. That way you know they are receiving the letter. Tell them that you are engaged and they are one of the first people you want to include in this celebration!
Good luck and give it one more try. If they don't respond to the letter, I would still send them an invite to the wedding, even if I knew they weren't coming. You're trying to be a good friend, even if you have lost contact over the years.

Answer 3

When you became engaged, you reached out to these "friends" to gage your relationship in order to decide if they should be invited to your wedding. Their response (or lack thereof) seems to indicate that, no matter what their circumstances, they are no longer close enough friends to warrant an invitation.

I'm sorry that they never gave you an explanation for not contacting you, but that's the way people are sometimes. Friendships end, and we don't always have all the answers. It's time to move on with your wedding plans and hope that someday you'll reconnect with these two girls. Good luck.

Answer 4

deliver her a effective wedding ceremony latest (till now she leaves for her trip spot wedding ceremony), yet formally decline her wedding ceremony invitation, bathe invitation, and bachelorette occasion. If she asks why, merely say that the price could be too plenty for you, you ought to no longer get trip, etc. maximum trip spot weddings finally end up that way – an incredible style of invites, yet an incredible style of them declined for functional motives. surely curiously that trip spot wedding ceremony would be form of a large number. Is it being paid for by potential of the groom's human beings so they're calling the photos? approximately your guy or woman wedding ceremony – you have a appropriate excuse for no longer inviting her. it incredibly is a small wedding ceremony, customarily kinfolk. Are you specific you ought to have a bachelorette occasion besides as a bath?

Answer 5

i once heard that if you have not talked to someone in a year or more, then forget about them. obviously they do not want you in their lives to let you know what is happening in them. I was very good friends with someone and their spouse(who I knew since he was 14) and in the past 2 years they pretty much stopped calling me and all that and I tried to keep in touch but never got a return call or email from them, so I gave up and they won't be invited to my wedding. i don't know what happened but i figure it is there loss. i also have a friend that i got a mass email from with her new email address and that she moved back close to where i live so i emailed her and i haven't heard from her either, so f*** them!!!!! just love and enjoy the friends you have now, that is what i do!!!

Answer 6

You tried contacting them the usual ways. One more thing you could try: drive by their old house and see if it looks like theyre still there. If so, snail-mail a note with your email address. If they dont respond, I would take that as they are not interested in being friends anymore. It happens.

Answer 7

You've done what you reasonably can do. If you do happen to hear from one of them, you can let them know you'd like to invite them to your wedding, but perhaps it's best not to pin too much on that hope.

I think it's time to let things be.

Answer 8

If YOU want to invite them, go ahead. If not then don't.

My opinion is, if you haven't been corresponding for over a year they do not go on the invite list.

Answer 9

it looks like you have done all you can. you tried, they were the ones who did not keep in contact with you. send your invites to people who respond to your messages :)